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Wednesday 23 December 2009

Onions and Christmas Trees.......







A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs:


In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'



This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.

After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration.'

Sorry guys. LOL

27 comments:

quilly said...

tsk, tsk, tsk -- Santa might get even for this. He''s male you know!

Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

I've read this before. It's wonderful...By the way...and I'm just asking here...did you hit the panic button when you went to see the Why Christmas Trees are better than Women? OMG!!! Happy Holidays my friend :)

Flowerpot said...

Very good Ak!!! Happy Christmas to you...

Valerie said...

A smile was needed on this cold morning and I got one. Happy Christmas to you.

Akelamalu said...

Ooops Sorry Santa! Thanks for the reminder Quilly :)

LOL glad you have a great sense of humour Thom x

Aw sorry Dumdad :)

Happy Christmas to you too Flowerpot x

Happy it made you smile Valerie, and a Happy Christmas to you. x

G-Man said...

You've been on the top of your game these last couple of days Ake.
Thank You for being such a loyal friend. God Bless You and have a Happy Holiday...Galen

buffalodick said...

Buddy of mine used to say: "I used to be able to hang a wet bath towel off it, now I can barely hold up a dry washcloth"...

Maude Lynn said...

Oh, that's funny!

storyteller said...

LOL ... that's hilarious ;-)
Thanks for brightening my day. Wishing you and yours a joyous holiday!
Hugs and blessings,

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

oh good one honey! merry christmas!

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Akelamalu....hahahahahah. I have a joke to tell at my Christmas Eve party. Thank you honey.

Merry Christmas sweetie...have the best ever. :)

CrystalChick said...

Bwwwaaaahhaaaahaaa!!!

aims said...

Very good! I know I'm going to be passing it along!

Dul├že ♥ said...

ha ha ha hee hee..................

This is great Oh how I love a joke at this time of year...so very appropriate... (oups... sorry guys)

Thank YOU!

hugs and MERRY XMAS!

Dr.John said...

It was funny but us poor guys got it in the neck again.

Jason said...

This is a great blog you have here. I'm a first-time visitor but I'm very impressed. I have a blog as well which provides inspiration and guidance to people all around the world.

I am interested in exchanging links with you to help spread some traffic around. When you get a moment, please take a look at my site and let me know if this is possible. Keep up the good work.

Happy Holidays!

Jason
TheWISDOMWALL.com

Akelamalu said...

I hope you have a happy holiday too G-man, Reiki blessings to you. xxxx

LOL that's funny Buff!

Glad it gave you a laugh MamaZen :)

The same to you Storyteller, glad you had a chuckle.

Merry Christmas Bee x

Let me know how the joke goes down Spiky and Happy Christmas to you x

Glad you enjoyed it Crystalchick x

I hope it gets a laugh Aims!

My pleasure Dulce and a Merry Christmas to you too. x

Aw sorry Dr.John but I have to be loyal to my sisters! LOL

Hi Jason and welcome I'll visit you as soon as I can. :)

Krimo said...

All the best to you and yours, Akela! XX

Gledwood said...

have a very merry one, if I didn't send greetings before (my memory!!)

and a fantabulous 2010

;->...

tony said...

Have A Great Christmas .Love From tony.

Cloudia said...

Naughty Girl!



Aloha, Dear Ake!!!!!!
Happy Holidays


Comfort Spiral

Ron said...

Bwhahahahhahahahahha!

Bwhahahahahahahahaha!

OMG...this is BRILLIANT!

Thanks for a wonderful laugh, m'dear! I needed it after today!

Wishing you and your family the Bestest Christmas ever!

X ya a bunch!

inappropriatesue said...

I just read that out loud to my husband and we are both rolling with laughter! So funny!

CrAzY Working Mom said...

Thanks for the laugh! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. :)

Happy new year.

ann said...

thanks for another good larf

nitebyrd said...

An absolutely brilliant woman!

Betty said...

Hehe! Came here via a link from Lettuce's blog. Hope you have a wonderful cruise.