Monday 7 December 2009

The Big Decision.......

A man wakes up in hospital , bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up a month ago on the M8. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...... something happened.

I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the crash, and we were unable to find it.' The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap.. It's £1000 an inch.' The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want'. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?' 'I have,' says the man. 'And has she helped you in making the decision?' 'She has,' says the man. 'And what is it?' asks the doctor. 'We're getting a new kitchen.'


Nessa said...

Poor guy. Very funny.

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Nessa said...

Poor guy. Very funny.

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Dumdad said...

They could have compromised: eight and three quarter inches and a new microwave.

buffalodick said...

Funny! A guy goes to a "lady of the night" for some action..She's in bed, he walks in with a raging erection, about 3" long.. She laughs and says;"Who you going to satisfy with that?" The guy replies: "Me!"

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

oh look how pretty your blog looks! and i'd have taken a cruise! ha ha ha

smiles, bee

mrsnesbitt said...

hahahaha loved this!

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed it Nessa x

LOL good idea Dumdad!

Hehe that's a good one Buff!

I'd have gone for a cruise to Bee, I've got the kitchen! LOL

Pleased you enjoyed it MrsN :)

aims said...

Ahhh! The guy must have been one of those who showed up for that egomaniac Howard Stern's Smallest Penis competition.

I watched the video and felt truly sorry for those guys. Their whole lives spent like that? At least the one guy had the guts to say he showed it to his mother and she told him to try to win the competition. (I'm not kidding)
(warning - shows everything)

Ron said...


OMG....this is SO funny!

And I love Dumdads comment!


Thanks for a GREAT Monday laugh, m'dear!

Enjoyed it!


Susan at Stony River said...

I have to admit that nine inches might make forget about my d*mn kitchen ROFL; I'd let him have the surgery!
Poor guy!

Anonymous said...

This just had me rolling my friend. Too funny. Have a great week ahead :)

clean and crazy said...

i can't stop giggling this was too cute!!

secret agent woman said...

Ha ha.

I think I'd have to forgo the new kitchen.

Connie T. said...

He should have added
And a divorce.

Dr.John said...

Now that is one funny story.

Cloudia said...

You NEVER fail to amuse and reward your faithful readers, Sistah!


Comfort Spiral

Laura Jane Williams said...



Spiky Zora Jones said...

akelamalu: Ah hahahaha. :D

That is funny. I love it.

A new kitchen hehehehe


Akelamalu said...

Aims I watched that clip! :0

LOL Dumdad's comment made me chuckle too Ron :)

Hehe I think I'd opt for the surgery too Susan ;)

I'm happy to make you smile Thom x

Glad you had a giggle Clean&Crazy :)

Well a new kitchen isn't everything is it SAW? (wink)

LOL right Connie :)

So pleased you enjoyed it Dr. John

So glad you enjoyed it Cloudia x

I'm pleased you liked it Laura :)

I'm happy it made you laugh Spiky x

cheshire wife said...

It takes all sorts!

ann said...

oh, the old ones are the best - LMHO then, LMHO again - keep 'em rolling

i'm greedy - i want both :>)

Mimi Lenox said...


Finding Pam said...

That was hilarious! I loved all the comments too!

Akelamalu said...

It does indeed Cheshire Wife!

Yep the old ones are definitely the best Ann LOL

You liked it Mimi!

Sometimes the comments are better than the jokes Pam! LOL

MarmiteToasty said...

snorting tea out me nose LMFAO hahahahaha