Tuesday 31 July 2007
THE POLITICALLY CORRECT GUIDE TO GUYS
He does not have a beer gut;
He develops a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not quiet;
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He does not get lost all the time;
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
You do not buy him a drink;
You initiate an Alcohol-For-Conversation Exchange.
He does not fart and belch;
He is Gastronomically Expressive.
He is not a cradle snatcher;
He prefers Generationally Differential Realtionships.
He does not have a rich daddy;
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He does not hog the blankets;
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is not a male chauvinist pig;
He has Swine Empathy.
He is not afraid of commitment;
He is Monogamously Challenged.
Read Quick Giggles part 1 and 2.
Monday 30 July 2007
We were picked up from the hotel at 8 a.m. and taken to the harbour at Hurghada to pick up the boat. As we came to board the boat I stopped and said "There's no way I can get on there!" I love sailing (apart from in little boats where people keep standing up and down!) but this boat was a bit too far away from the jetty for me and I knew there was no way I would be able to jump it. My knee is much stronger now but I still have to go down on my bad leg and wouldn't trust a jump landing on it if you know what I mean. I explained I'd not long had an operation (showed them the impressive scar) and they said "no problem" they just hauled the boat in a bit more and practically lifted me onto the boat! A young couple from our hotel, who were on the same trip, asked me later if I'd had a knee replacement to which I repled yes. When I told them I'd had the operation in February they were amazed at how well I am doing because they just happen to both be physiotherapists and knew what was involved. This pleased me no end because I thought it was taking too long to recover.
Anyway, all aboard, we set sail to Mahmya Island about a 50 minute journey and a very pleasant one, MWM and I spent the 50 minutes sunbathing on the front of the boat and scanning the horizon for dolphins (no luck there unfortunately). As we approached the island we could see that the beach had oodles of thatched umbrellas for shade and thatched buildings dotted about and there were quite a lot of boats arriving. We had to decant into a smaller boat with an outboard motor to be taken ashore and were told we would be left to our own devices - sunbathing, swimming, snorkeling etc until midday when we would be taken back aboard our boat to visit another coral reef for more snorkeling.
The beach was absolutely beautiful, white sand and plenty of shade. You only needed to go ankle deep to see tropical fish swimming around your feet, I went a lot deeper to do some snorkeling but MWM (who doesn't swim) tried the mask and snorkel in about two foot of water and really enjoyed it.
Noon arrived quite quickly and we were back on board for the second part of the trip. I was a little apprehensive about getting on and off the boat by the ladder (I certainly wasn't going to jump in) to go snorkelling but I had no trouble at all and the underwater view was worth the effort. I don't stray too far away from the boat though because I'm not the strongest swimmer in the world but I do like to give it a go.
After about an hour everyone was called back on board to be taken back to Mahmya for lunch. We did the decant into the smaller boat again and were asked to make our way up from the beach to the restaurant. It was just a whole load of tables and benched covered by a thatched roof with a buffet table but the food was delicious.
I don't normally take photographs of toilets but this time I did because what they looked like outside was nothing like what they looked like inside! I was expecting a hole in the ground but it was like walking into the Tardis! Wait until you see the photos you'll understand what I mean.
We had another hour on the beach which MWM and I walked along hand in hand then we sat in the surf relaxing. All too soon it was time to board the boat again for the trip home, we were worn out but very happy. We just had time for a power nap at the hotel before we got ready for yet another evening of eating and drinking and relaxing.
Tune in again for the last part of El Gouna (Part 5).
Read El Gouna Part 1, 2 and 3.
Sunday 29 July 2007
By way of a change a rare slice of sunshine on Friday got me out in the garden. Here's what's blooming at the moment. Hope your Sunday is good.
Saturday 28 July 2007
The lagoon trips started at 4 p.m. (when it was a 'little' cooler) and we had a short walk down to the marina to pick up the little boat. There were a lot of people on the boat who, for some reason best known to themselves, all wanted to sit on the same side of the boat, and some of these people were huge! Now don't get me wrong I have nothing against big people, (I'm one myself, which is why you won't see many pictures of me on here!), but the boat was in danger of turning over until the guide (one of the animation team) politely asked some of them to shift their a$$es to the other side! That was a bit of a hairy moment but the boat stopped rocking and we set off. Phew!
As we set off along the lagoons our guide was explaining about the origin of El Gouna and pointing out the different styles of hotel, whilst the 'captain' of our little
The views were magnificent as were the hotels and private residences. The owner of the land El Gouna is built on has a house on a little island of it's own connected to the next island by a bridge. We also saw a house which is reported to belong to Omar Sharrif.
The whole trip took about 45 minutes and was really quite pleasant, once everyone had parked their bum and stopped trying to tip the boat over. When we got back to the hotel I went for a much needed Rum and Coke and a lie down!
Friday 27 July 2007
What is a Schmoozer?
. . ."As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogsphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship".
After reading that what can I say but I'm honoured Shaz and Mark and I thank you kindly.
I have to pay it forward (this is the bit I like best) so I hope the following will please accept the award and pass it on.
Bella at (the mad) Household of La Bellina Mammina is a lovely blogger who fits the description of a Schmoozer to a 'T'.
Annelisa (Words that Flow) is taking a break at the moment after the loss of her dear friend but when she is blogging she is the kindest, most supportive blogger.
Now I know Miss Bee (Muffin53) has already been awarded a Schmoozer but she's such a lovely supportive blogger that I think she deserves another one.
Ruth at Me, My Life, My Garden and There are a million stories in the naked city, is such a lovely lady who always has a kind, funny, witty word to say. It's like sitting in your kitchen over a cup of coffee talking to her.
On the subject of BOYS TOYS
Can any of you boys tell me why - because MWM wanted the new XBox 360 Digital we have had to have a new Sky+ HD Tuner and replace our two year old Philips 26"Flat Screen Television for a new Philips 32" HD Ready Flat Screen Television?
I don't see the logic!!!??????
Thursday 26 July 2007
We only did one trip Downtown, during the day, which wasn't such a good idea as we went after lunch and of course most places were shut - hence the old saying "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen(women) go out in the midday sun"! Anyway there was a local bus stopped right outside the hotel every 15 minutes, which would take you Downtown for 50 pence each for an all day ticket, so we thought why not. The bus was a real boneshaker, though very colourful as you'll see from the photograph, and the place was really pretty with a lovely little craft centre, but the stalls were shut when we went. Undeterred we had a walk around and then sat in the square and had a cooling beer before we hopped on the bus back to the hotel.
The main place to relax after our evening meal was on the sun terrace - too hot to use during the day but lovely at night. There was a resident singer and the animation team did a quiz and bingo once a week. The quiz was fun, but the Bingo - well let's just say I was glad when someone won because I couldn't make head nor tail of it and I know how to play bingo! It was good fun though.
There was a Caberet show in the outdoor theatre at the new Duport building (the second part of the hotel), this was organised by the animation team, who really put their heart and soul into the productions.
Just outside the hotel was Peanut's Bar where you could either sit inside (air conditioned) or on the terrace enjoying the marina and the cooling breeze, which was evident most evenings.
Down at the new part of the hotel they had the Duport Pool Bar which had fantastic four poster type loungers all around the circular pool with a bar selling drinks and food. It was at night that the Pool Bar really shone though when it was transformed into a boudoir! See the slide show to see the transformation. All the loungers were scattered with huge multicoloured cushions and guest DJ's were hired playing anything from Latin to House Music - we went there most evenings.
Because we were all inclusive all drinks at the hotel, Peanuts and the Pool Bar were free until midnight for us, and it was great that we weren't restricted to just the hotel bar.
You might think we spent most evenings eating and drinking - you'd be right, but hey that's all part of the holiday right?
El Gouna Part 3 coming soon. See El Gouna Part 1 here.
Wednesday 25 July 2007
Mike at Mike's Homefront has bestowed this award on me.
Originally the award was meant for guys but as you can see Mike has doctored it to enable him to pass it on to girlies.
I have to pay it forward so I am going to use both so I can include boys and girls.
First the boys:
My lovely boy Dan at Dan's Fi-ver has to have an award because he is definitely an Awesome Dude, if only for getting up at 5 a.m. to collect us from the airport! He has only just started blogging recently, so I hope you'll check him out.
Buffalodickdy at Opinions & Rectums who makes me salivate - with his recipes!
Dumdad at The Other Side of Paris has me in stitches with his tales of his cycling round Paris. Ask him about earwigs!
Then there's the girls
I have only recently found Confessions of a Rotten Correspondent , and I would like to keep her to myself really, but she's too good not to share, so go take a look.
Pick 'em up guys and gals and pay 'em forward.
Tuesday 24 July 2007
We had two weeks in El Gouna, near Hurghada on the Red Sea, staying at The Three Corners Ocean View Hotel right on the Abu Tig Marina.
El Gouna had its beginnings in one man's search to find the most beautiful spot on Egypt's Red Sea coast to build a house and small boat jetty. Around two decades ago Samih Sawiris, chairman of Orascom Hotels & Development, El Gouna's parent company, found that beautiful spot, conveniently located just north of Hurghada on the west coast of the Red Sea. It wasn't long before Sawiris' friends, struck by the splendor of the azure waters and dramatic backdrop of mountains, asked to join him. In this way the town slowly blossomed into the vibrant community it is today, fulfilling Sawiris' and OHD's vision of "carving paradise out of the desert."
I hope you're not expecting a sightseeing tour of Egypt - we did that already, so if it's historical photos you're after click here to see our Nile Cruise and temple visits. This holiday was always going to be a relaxing one with lots of sun, swimming and gentle walking to help my knee recover - and it did!
Our flight should have taken off from Manchester at 2 p.m. but was delayed 3 1/2 hours (what a surprise - not), this meant that we wouldn't arrive at our hotel until 2 a.m. but we did get a free drink on the plane to compensate, which we added to of course!
On arrival we were banded (wrist band to show you're all inclusive) and shown to our room. I had asked for a ground floor room but we were given one on the first floor, luckily right near the lift so no problem there. We inspected the room whilst waiting for the luggage to be brought up and were quite pleased apart from (you girls will understand this part) there was NO hairdryer! It stated quite clearly that there was a hairdryer in the room so I hadn't packed one. I had packed the kitchen sink but no hairdryer. After I threw a hissy fit and threatened to be on the next flight home, MWM calmed me down and said "We'll go out and buy one at first light". By now the luggage had arrived and I had decided we'd stay so we unpacked. I don't know about you but no matter how tired I am I can't think about sleep until I've unpacked the luggage.
We managed about 3 hours sleep, this was partly due to wanting to explore our surroundings and the fact that my bed was a hollowed out log filled with pebbles and sand, with a pillow that can only be described as a boulder! MWM said I was exaggerating and offered me his bed but I tried it and his was the same, though to be fair I am used to a king size waterbed at home so anything less is uncomfortable.
As the day dawned the first thing I did was to look out of the window to check the sun was shining (you never know) and marvelled at the view. We quickly showered and covered ourselves in P20 (Once a Day sun protection - wouldn't use anything else) and went down to reception to ask for a hairdryer and a new pillow, which appeared in our room after we got back from breakfast, so that was a relief. We found the breakfast terrace and the buffet, had a leisurely breakfast then claimed a spot in the shade round the pool, we like the sun but are not daft enough to bake ourselves all day like some.
There were plenty of sunbeds round the pool and also a man made beach at the back of the pool with a jetty where you could get into the sea to swim. We were told this swimming area was good for snorkeling and there were lots of fish which had become used to being fed, so on the second day we took some bread and I snorkeled whilst MWM fed the fish (MWM doesn't swim).
The first day is always the busiest I find as there are the inevitable 'meetings' to aquaint you with the hotel and 'trips' available. These were quite informative and we were taken on a little walking tour around the hotel and adjacent marina. As I've said before I have no sense of direction so I thought this was a really good idea, however on the second day, even though I'd been on the tour, I got lost in the hotel and had to ask a member of staff where my room was - luckily I could remember the room number!
First impressions of the hotel, surroundings, food, staff etc., were favourable and I've put together a little slide show so you can see what we saw/did the first couple of days.
Monday 23 July 2007
Actual lines taken from Real CV's and Covering Letters.
- I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.
- Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Wholly respoinsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
- Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
- It's best for employers that I not work with people
- Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- Marital status: single, unmarried, unengaged, uninvolved, no commitments.
- I have an excellent track record, althouth I am not a horse.
- I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
- My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
- Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
- Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.
- Marital status: often. Children: various.
- The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
- Finished eighth in my class of ten.
- References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Read Quick Giggles Part 1 here.
Sunday 22 July 2007
“......please post this on your blog and more importantly send out to all of YOUR blogging community too, so we can all celebrate the global friendships which happen between us all… we are all stars shining!”
Saturday 21 July 2007
Got back in the early hours of this morning and although I have tons of washing and other things to do I just couldn't resist taking a peak at what's been going on!
I have loads of holiday photos to upload and then a post to sort out, and obviously a lot of catching up to do with everyone so please bear with me whilst I get around to it all.
After all the stuff I've supped over the last two weeks whilst on holiday I thought maybe I should follow this example...........
I had twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar and my wife told me to empty the contents down the sink or else.... so I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whisky down the sink with the exception of one glass which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank. I pulled the cork from the next bottle and drank all but the sink of it, throwing the rest of it down the glass. I pulled the sink from the next glass, then poured the cork from the bottle, then I corked the sink with the glass and bottled the drink and drank the cork. When I had everything empty, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks and glasses and sinks with the others which were 29. As the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
I am not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am, nor are I half so think as they drunk I am, but I fool so feelish and I don't know how is me and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
Saturday 7 July 2007
We are going to El Gouna on the Red Sea (Egypt). It was a last minute, all inclusive, deal and I've checked the hotel out on the internet, including customer reviews, and it sounds fantastic! Obviously I will take loads of photographs and tell you all about it when I get back. Oh, and my knee is doing so well I won't be taking a crutch with me!
Please try not to blog too much whilst I'm away then I won't miss anything!
Enjoy a laugh now.............
EXTRACTS FROM ACTUAL LETTERS SENT TO VARIOUS COUNCILS AND HOUSING ASSOCIATIONS THROUGHOUT THE UK:
- I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
- I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
- ........ and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
- I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
- I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
- Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.
- I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
- 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
- I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
- The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
- Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
- Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
- Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.
- I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6 a.m. his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
- The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
- Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
- I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
- Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
- This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.
- My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.
- .........and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
- .....that is his excuse for his dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Click on photos
I can't remember anything about the journey to the boat but I can remember being on the boat. I thought it was a cruise liner but it was just the ferry belonging to the Isle of Man Steam Packet Company.
Here's me taking baby for a stroll round the deck. I think there must have been a bit of a swell as the picture looks like we are listing to port.
Another lapse of memory regarding how we actually got to the camp, but the chalets were very nice. Dad made it onto this photograph outside of the chalet, along with a friend Norbert and I had just met. Mum must have taken this photograph because (a) she's not on it and (b) she's chopped the baby's head off!
Monday 2 July 2007
Well, of course I graciously accept the award mainly because I love getting awards of any sort, and it gives me the chance to pass it on to another five bloggers!
Who to pass it on to is the most difficult of decisions! There are so many great blogs on my blogroll I'd like to give you all the award, but I can't, I can only choose another five, so please don't fall out with me if I don't choose you - I love you all!
Catch at A Penny For Your Thoughts is a Mother, Grandmother and also has her own Mother living with her. In her own words her house is like "Grand Central Station with my kids and grandkids in and out...plus a wide array of friends and relatives who drop in to..and I love it!" There's always something going on at Catch's place, you can be laughing one minute and crying the next but she certainly makes you think.
Judd Corizan at The Rising Blogger is busy giving out Rising Blogger Awards to others (I have one!) but I don't think he realises what a fabulous blog he is hosting! He searches through tons of blogs to find individual posts to award. His reports on the posts are fantastic and reading his blog gives you the opportunity to read blogs you may never know existed, and thereby making you think.
Gewels at Imagined Life has captured my attention with lots of her posts but two in particular really got my attention. Her post on Thursday this week entitled 'Lift Up Thy Head' is about the American Bald Eagle being removed from the endangered species list and how she saw one in her very own yard last summer. The second post which brought tears to my eyes was her post on Father's Day, paying tribute to her her husband, her father and FIL and her male friends - such a beautiful post.
Paul Champagne at The Blogway Boys writes mostly about politics, which usually goes right over my head because, not living in America, I have no idea who he's talking about, unless he mentions the President - I know him! (Who is he?). I do pop by every day though to read his posts, because they are so well written and sometimes he does little quizzes. Paul's posts always make me think, and occasionally I do comment if I know who he's talking about.
La Bellina Mammina at (the mad) Household of Indemini-Capri is a working mother of three gorgeous boys, who still finds time to blog about her life and what's going on in her part of the world. She has just done a frank online interview about herself which will tell you virtually all you need to know.
Gledwood Vol2, a blog I have only recently discovered. Gleds talks frankly about his drug addiction, but thankfully is in the process of trying to sort out rehab for himself. If you ever considered 'doing drugs' please read Gledwood's blog - I promise you it will scare the living shit out of you, and I make no apologies for my language! You may well be surprised at the obvious intellect of the person writing, for a drug addict, which makes what you will read all the more incredulous. How does an intelligent, articulate, and in his own words, 'straight' guy turn into a 'junkie' - read and find out - it will certainly make you think.
I hope you'll pop across to read them, if you don't already, they truly are Thinking Bloggers.
To the Nominees.....
Should you choose to participate, please make sure to pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.
If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.
Link to the original post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme
Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
Sunday 1 July 2007
2. Put your name in the upper right hand corner of the paper.
3. Circle the word 'Name' in the second sentence.
4. Draw five small quares in the upper left hand corner of the paper.
5. Put and X in each square mentioned in No.4.
6. Put a circle around each square.
7. Sign your name under the heading.
8. After the title put two crosses.
9. Put a circle around numbers 7 and 8.
10. Put an X in the bottom left hand corner of this page.
11. Draw a triangle around the X you have just made.
12. On the back of this page multiply 60 x 70.
13. Draw a circle aroudn the word paper in sentence 4.
14. Loudly shout your first name when you get to this point of the test.
14. If you think you have followed the directions carefully, call out... "I have carefully followed the directions".
16. On the reverse side of this paper add 107 and 278.
17. Count out in your normal speaking voice from 1 to 10 backwards.
18. Punch small holes in your paper here 0 here 0 and here 0.
19. If you are the first person to get this far, call out loudly ... "I am the leader in following directions".
20. Now that you have finished reading carefully, do only sentences 1 and 2.