Friday 55 Flash Fiction #196 Consequences...

 

When she started this she didn't think ahead,

didn't even imagine the consequences five years down the line.

Now it was time to admit it had become a habit, but one she really enjoyed.

She had reached a milestone now, with this next push of the button

she would publish her one thousandth blog post.

 And there you have it - my 1000th blog post!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

No Way Buddy......

Hans, a middle-aged German tourist on his first visit to England, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!


Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.


The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Hans. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.


Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.


So she goes over to Hans and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.   Hans leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Euros?"

Spring....

Front garden

As you know MWM and I have been beautifying the inside of our home recently but Spring has arrived here, which prompted us to get out into the garden and spruce that up too.

Back garden

We pulled up all the dead stuff, cut the grass, trimmed the edges of the lawns, hoed and planted up some pots.  We also jetwashed the paths and patio and filled in the spaces with sand and cement.

MWM was clearing out the understairs cupboard and found a lovely bowl I forgot I had so, to put it to good use, on Friday I bought some hyacinth and minature daffodil bulbs to put in it.  The daffs flowered on Sunday, I'm still waiting for the Hyacinths but they should be out soon.

Then on Monday the Amaryllis, which my good neighbour bought for me about 5 years ago, flowered.

Isn't it beautiful?

Two of our grandchildren, Harry and Gracie, stayed with us on Friday night and it was such a lovely morning on Saturday that I took them to the local park for an hour, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

Last night I tried out a new recipe for dinner - Sweet potato mash, Lincolnshire sausages and Red Onion and chilli relish - deelish.

Yesterday, when I got back from my Zumba class, we spent the day sitting in our lovely garden reading and enjoying the sunshine in temperatures of 20C - lovely.

This morning I'm back at Zumba then we plan to do some outside painting, hopefully we will get it all finished with time left to sit enjoying the sunshine again, as the weather forecast is for more wall to wall sunshine.

Well that's all my news, enjoy your week.

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #46

Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.

Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.

This week's word is TEMPESTUOUS here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.

 

Visitors to the zoo thought the Alpacas were sweet.

Then someone left the gate open

and they discovered just how tempestuous they were.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #195 Boring.....

 Up and down, up and down.

It's the same thing, every day, every week, every year.

Why can't I go round in a circle,

or diagonally, or zig zag or even have a day off occasionally?

I wish I could do something else for a living, anything.

The life of a lawnmower is very boring.

Spring turns my thoughts to the garden.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

An Irish Story......

 As St. Patrick's Day has recently been and gone, I thought you may enjoy this little Irish story....



Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he  was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they  would send an inspector to interview them.

On the  appointed day, the inspector turned up.
 "Tell me about your staff,"  he asked Paddy.

"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay  him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage. Then there's  the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and  lodging. There's also the half-wit.  He works a 16 hour day,  does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of  whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my  wife."
 
 "That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to  interview the half-wit."

 "That'll be me then,"  said Paddy.

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #45

Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.

Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.

This week's word is RENEW here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.

Chief taster sampled the contents of the barrels.

He had a great job but one not really suited to him.

Time to renew his membership to AA.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #194 Eat.....

Mum said eat, whether you're hungry or not.

Eat as much as possible, you'll need it if you want to grow up like me.

Munch, munch, 'scrumptious' she thought. 

 

 I'm getting full, I'll wrap myself up and sleep now.

The caterpillar awoke to a miracle, she had turned into a beautiful butterfly like her mother.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Lanzarote Part 4......

We only booked one sightseeing trip during our visit to Lanzarote last December, to Timanfaya National Park, which is host to Fire Mountain.  This massive volcano erupted in 1730 and lasted 6 years until 1736.  These eruptions transformed almost a quarter of the island into a sea of solidified lava, multicoloured volcanic rocks and copper-coloured sand, with wide areas covered with thick layers of lapilli (coarse ash). These materials formed the malpaís (badlands), and more than 250 years after these eruptions, there is still hardly any vegetation here. For the time being, the area is quite safe, though underneath the surface it is still bubbling and an odour of sulphur hangs in the air. It is also classed as the closest to the moon's surface as you will find on earth.

Click on photos to biggify.

The boundary to the Parque Nacional de Timanfaya is marked by a sign carrying the mischievous El Diablo (The Devil) logo - designed by Cesar Manrique,  the island’s best-known, internationally renowned artist.

 Our first stop was the El Diablo Restaurant with its interesting barbeque that uses geothermal heat and a cast iron grill placed over a hole in the ground – another ingenious César Manrique idea.

If you look closely at the photos above you can see the glowing embers deep underground and we could feel the heat rising from the hole and also through the footplate surrounding the hole.  We were advised not to stand there too long or the soles of our shoes may melt!



Staff members also give impressive demonstrations which show the intense heat of the earth just below the surface.  The first demonstration was when a staff member dug a small hole and dropped some cinders into everyone's hand - we had to juggle them from one hand to another because they were HOT!   For the next demonstration he pushed some straw into a hole - here's the result...

 The most impressive demonstration, for me anyway, was when he poured some water into a pipe in the ground and seconds later a jet of steam shot out of the pipe.

Driving up the mountain the scenery we saw is unbelievable.   We were not allowed to get off the coach so most of our photos are taken through the window.  I've put together a slide show to give you some idea of how incredible it it. Do click on the enlarge icon in the bottom right hand corner of the slideshow to get a better view.

 

Our next stop was the camel train.   MWM and I didn't have a ride on the camels but lots of people did, we just took photos.

 You'll never guess what we saw on our next stop - only a vineyard!  

We were amazed to find out that wine is actually grown on this unhospitable landscape but in the valley of La Geria vines are individually grown in their own funnel-shaped hole that is rimmed by a low wall made of lava rocks for protection from the Passat winds.

Thousands of those "Zocos" can be see along the mountain slopes.  The soil is covered with black lava ash called "Lapili" or "Picon", which protects it against drying out.  The porous material absorbs dew during the night and releases it into the soil during the day.  Mainly the Malvasia grapes are grown here but also, to as smaller extent, the Muscatel grape.  Of course we got to taste.

Our last stop on the tour was Los Hervideros (boiling waters)  a  stretch of bizarre-shaped cliffs is slightly north of the popular resort of Playa Blanca towards El Golfo.

 

 

This coastal area has an abundance of underwater caves produced by the solidification of lava and erosion. Los Hervideros refers to the amazing display that sees the waves force water into the labyrinth of caves with such a dramatic power it appears as if the sea is bubbling and boiling. Visitors can wander around pathways in the cliffs and watch the display below. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, when the Atlantic Ocean is rough and producing heavy swells, sprays of seawater are forced several metres into the air accompanied by a roaring noise! An awesome sight!

 

What a fantastic day trip that was, we saw so many awesome sights and it was a perfect finale to a great week away as we made the journey home a couple of days later.  I hope you've enjoyed this  trip as much as we did. 

 

 

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #44

Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.

Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.

This week's word is SERENDIPITY here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.

Rocky Raccoon's first thought when he found the bags left on the driveway was "Serendipity".

Then he discovered there was no food in them.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #193 Slave......

He wasn't supposed to think.

He wasn't supposed to feel.

His sort just had to do as they were told.

Get on with it.

Nothing was too menial a task.

He would never be free.

Never have a wife and family.

Life would stay like this forever, until the end of time......

for the Robot.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

When women lie......

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family..The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires...

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'

'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.

'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked...


Yes,' cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'

The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.


The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #43

Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.

Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.

This week's word is SATURATE here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.

Jim & Jean loved sitting on the bench by the lake.

The punk who saturated them for a laugh

 was shocked to learn Jim was a karate expert.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #192 Sad....

 Jackie picked up the ringing phone.

"I'll be home late tonight" said her husband.

Choking back tears Jackie sobbed.

"What's wrong?  I have to work!"

"OK, don't worry, it's fine" Jackie mumbled.

"What's happened, are you hurt, are the kids OK?"

"Everyone's fine, honestly,

I've been watching my favourite soap and it was so sad!"

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.