Monday, 23 July 2007

Quick Giggles Part Two...

I'm still busy with holiday washing and ironing etc., etc., so I'll leave you with this........

Actual lines taken from Real CV's and Covering Letters.

  1. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.

  2. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

  3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

  4. Wholly respoinsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

  5. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

  6. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

  7. It's best for employers that I not work with people

  8. Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.

  9. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

  10. Marital status: single, unmarried, unengaged, uninvolved, no commitments.

  11. I have an excellent track record, althouth I am not a horse.

  12. I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

  13. My goal is to be a meteorologist, but since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

  14. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

  15. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.

  16. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.

  17. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.

  18. Marital status: often. Children: various.

  19. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

  20. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

  21. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

Read Quick Giggles Part 1 here.


RUTH said...

I must remember these when I start job hunting :o)

Shaz said...

It's so funny reading Cv's & job application forms. I recruit in my current post & we always fall about laughing & it's sometimes hard not to during the interviews too!

There was one person who applied everytime a job was advertised. We knew it was him/her due to the illegible hand writting. We could never short list as we couldn't understand what they had written. We asked the staffing department to write to them & explain this but they said "We can't as we can't make out their name or address!" . . . I rest my case.

HAR said...

This made me smile this morning.

Akelamalu said...

I'm sure your job applications won't be anything like these Ruth!

Akelamalu said...

You must see a lot of it in your job Shaz - write a book!

Akelamalu said...

I'm happy you had a smile Har :)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

thanks for entertaining me this morning, even though you have all that dreadful laundry and stuff to do. now about those vacation photos??? ha ha

smiles, bee

Akelamalu said...

Bee I'm working on the photos right now.

crazy working mom said...

*LOL* That is too funny!

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed crazy working mom

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