Saturday Wordzzle # 7

The idea is every week Raven (View From A Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either or both it's up to you, and you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven.

The words/phrases for this week's Ten Word Challenge is: fruitcake, necromancer, gibberish, marshland, Lone Ranger, hog-wild, effluvia, plaintiff, phonograph, fern

And for the Mini Challenge: frozen, history, myrmidon, Shylock, incapacitated

I've decided to be brave and attempt a MEGA-WORDZZLE this week. Here it is:

Miss Funnyfanny, the necromancer, welcomed her clients with the William Tell Overture, (which everyone knows as the theme to the Lone Ranger), playing on the phonograph. She explained that rousing music helped raise the vibes in the room where the Séance was to be held. Her home was out in the wilds, almost in the marshland, it was a beautiful place and the garden was full of fern. As they sat down to take part in the Séance they noticed what could only be described as effluvia. They didn’t mention the stink as they didn’t want to appear rude, especially when Miss F promised them fruitcake and tea after the Séance. As Miss F slipped effortlessly into a trance the words coming out of her mouth could only be described as gibberish and the deeper she went into the trance the more hog-wild she became, thrashing about like a mad woman. Miss F’s myrmidon, Ethel, stood guard over her like a frozen statue making sure that none of the guests broke the circle, which could, in certain circumstances, cause a medium to become incapacitated, she also collected the contributions from the guests which went towards paying the shylock they owed a fortune to. After the Séance the guests left the house complaining to each other that they thought Miss F was a charlatan and Lord Farquarharson vowed to look into her history. He discovered that Miss F was well known for scams whereby she extracted money under false pretenses and Lord Farquarharson eventually became the plaintiff in the latest case against her. Of course Miss Funnyfanny and Ethel fled the country before they could be brought to court, just as they'd done many times before.

TWO.......

TODAY!

Our youngest grandson

Nathaniel

celebrates his 2nd birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Lots of love sweetiepie - we love you!

Nanna & Grandad

xxxx

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 21 The Letter

The letter


Maggie opened the letter.

“Maggie, I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to tell you face to face” it read.

“I had to leave, I didn’t have a choice”.

“I’d known for a while, it was inevitable”.

Maggie’s eyes filled with tears

“I’m sorry I died and left you, always remember that I love you”.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Mindful Moments....

Some of you may have noticed that I have, in my sidebar, a new Thought For Today every day from Brahma Kumaris. This one from a a while back really made me think.


Mindful Moments

Most of us are of sound mind, but many of us have trouble maintaining a note of harmony and peace. Most of us know how to think, but few of us are able to control our thoughts. We all have the capacity to be creative, to image new ideas, but few of us are able to do it together and co-create in harmony with each other. We could all do with some mental training so that we may use the most powerful energy in the universe, the mind, which is always at our instant disposal.




We can begin with mindfulness. It's a simple way to gently help our mind go where it is best to go, do what is the best thing to do. It begins by simply being fully aware of what you are doing. Mostly we are not fully aware, as our minds wander into the past and then into possible futures. We spend most of our time watching others and so rarely fully focus on what we are actually doing ourselves. Next time you sit down to a meal, watch your self. Be aware of only what you are eating. Every time your mind wants to wander, bring it gently and lovingly back to the action and sensation of eating. Then do the same when cleaning, when writing, when working. The more you do it stronger and more focused and more rational will be your concentration, the more natural will be your actions, the more peaceful you will feel, and the more relaxed you will be, no matter what you are doing.



Daily Thoughts fromwww.thoughtfortoday.org.uk



How often do you actually think about what you are doing throughout the day - eating, drinking, cleaning, cooking, washing etc., etc? Most of our daily life is accomplished on auto-pilot, things we do regularly, so familiar that we can do them without thinking - like breathing. I know I have even driven to work and when I've thought about the journey I can't really remember much about it unless something unusual has happened.



I think we take so much for granted we don't really experience every moment and everything we do, unless we are ill and can no longer do the everyday things we take for granted.



Take a moment to concentrate on your next task, no matter how mundane it may seem and see if you feel a difference in what you accomplish.

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Storyteller (Small Reflections) has very kindly passed on this lovely award to me.

Storyteller received it from the creator of the award Greatfullivin who bestowed it onto 12 lucky bloggers.

Now you know me by now I find it very difficult to choose from the many blogs I read so as Greatfullivin gave it to 12 I'd like the first 12 people who comment on this post to take this award because I am grateful that you bothered to stop and read and comment. Now don't be shy at taking it because I'll be over to check out your blog to see if you've posted it!

Lost.......

David's (Authorblog) Weekend Wandering question this week is:

What is the most important thing you have ever lost?

If you'd like to join in here's what David would like you to do: Please answer today's question on your own blog, any time until next weekend. Just link to this blog (or to this post) so I can follow the progress of the discussion.

I have included this story in a different Weekend Wandering post but it fits in so well with this week’s question that I’m posting it again.

A few years ago, we had been out to a local club to a Christmas Eve party, we had a really good time with friends and were all a bit tipsy by the time we were going home. It was only when I got home and had taken off my coat that I realised that I had lost my gold watch. The loss of a gold watch is not something to be taken lightly, but this gold watch had belonged to my mother who had died some years previously. I was heartbroken as you might imagine. It was now the early hours of the morning but I searched the house thinking it may have fallen off my wrist as I had taken my coat off but it was nowhere to be found, I even retraced my steps down the garden path and up the street, looking for the watch, but to no avail. At first light the next day I retraced my steps again all the way back to the club and even telephoned the club to ask if the cleaners had found it – no luck.

I was devastated; I kept apologizing to Mum for losing it and begging her to let me find it. I spent a totally miserable week and couldn’t summon up a smile on New Year’s Eve, all I could think about was ‘I’ve lost my Mum’s watch!”. On Mum’s birthday (2nd January) I opened the coat cupboard and there, on the floor, in full view, was the watch! There is absolutely no way it could have been there for a week it would have been trodden on. MWM suggested that it had been caught in the sleeve of the coat I had worn, but I pointed out that I had checked the coat and I had worn it at least twice during the week the watch had been missing. Of course I was over the moon to have the watch back and I am convinced somehow my Mum was responsible for returning the watch, don’t ask me how because I don’t know, but there is no other explanation. Needless to say I had a safety chain put on the watch immediately and thankfully it is now safe.

Revenge.....

Have you ever felt the need to get revenge on someone? How far would you go to pay back someone who had really hurt you?

I was reading a magazine article recently about this subject and was amazed at the lengths some women have gone to for revenge.

Of course there's the well publicised revenge plans of NASA Astronaut, Lisa Nowak, who drove nearly 1,000 miles across the States, wearing a nappy to save time on toilet breaks, planning to attack her ex-boyfriend's lover. Also the wife of the former Italian prime miister, Veronica Berlusconi, who had an open letter in a newspaper demanding an apology from her husband for his well publicised flirtations. Lady Sarah Graham-Moon famously cut up 32 of her cheating husband's Savile Row suits, before delivering his collection of vintage wines to her neighbour's doorsteps in place of milk.

There are specific websites to help you get even. Revengelady.com boasts a staggering one million hits a month, but just Google 'revenge' and see how many sites come up - it's big business.

There's the classic revenge tricks - cutting up an ex's clothes, kipper behind the radiator, shopping the offender to the tax office but some of the things people come up with amaze me. What about the woman who unscrewed a door panel of her ex's Audi sports car and dropped a marble inside, which caused a terrible din rattling around. Only after many visits to the mechanic and the car being taken apart did the ex find the marble and a note saying "Oh you found it.... Love, C". Or the woman who sent her husband's mistress a free sample tub of deep moisturising cream for hair, which really contained depilatory cream.

Wouldn't you just love to do something like that? Most of us probably just seethe inwardly, whilst wishing we could carry out some act that would make the object of our revenge suffer as much as they had made us. The reality is that anything we could think up to ease our feelings would probably land us in prison, or at the very least with a hefty fine. Revenge is something that we would all like to serve, be it hot or cold, but few of us do, thankfully just thinking about it can usually ease the desire to get even.

By the way, I have never done anything remotely like the things I've mentioned - not that I haven't thought about it mind you!

Have you?

Saturday Wordzzle #6

The idea is every week Raven (View From A Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either or both it's up to you, and you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven.

The words/phrases for this week's week's ten-word challenge are: arbitration, music, salamanders, frankinsence, trojan horse, balderdash, bottomless pit, fantastic, pugnacious, Trivial Pursuit

The ironing basket was like a bottomless pit and Annie had had enough, so she got out the Trivial Pursuit and announced “Let’s play a board game!” Ignoring the collective groan she set out the game on the dining room table. Arthur put some music on the sound system hoping it might calm the kids down, he knew how pugnacious they could become at times like this. Alice’s first question was ‘name one of the gifts the three Kings brought to Jesus’ – quick as a flash she answered “Frankinsence”. “Fantastic” shouted the kids, you’re so clever Mum. Then came Arthur’s turn. “What’s the natural habitat of Salamanders? “Easy-peasy” said Arthur “the desert”. “Wrong, it’s swamp” replied Alice. “Balderdash” said Arthur. “Look if you’re going to argue we’ll go for arbitration, kids what does it say here?” Alice asked, handing them the card. “I don’t want to play anymore, there’s a good film on the telly about the Trojan horse that I want to watch” he snapped as he disappeared into the lounge. “Oh never mind him” said Alice to the kids “he just can’t accept that he’s ever wrong!”


And for the mini challenge: maniac, video store, telephone pole, flute player, windy day


As Joe walked away from the video store he was thinking about the movie he’d just returned. He’d enjoyed this one about a maniac who terrorized a neighbourhood by climbing up the telephone pole outside his victim’s bedroom window to gain access, then murdered them in their beds. By day he was a normal fellow who was a flute player in an orchestra but he turned into a monster at night. Strangely though, this only happened when it was a windy day. When he was eventually caught the newspaper headlines read “Wind sends flautist up the pole!”

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 20 Temper, Temper

Temper, temper

She scrubbed furiously at the toilet, careful to get right under the rim.
Dislodged gunge dribbling into the bowl.

“Damn, damn, damn” she fumed
Cleaning was the only way to assuage her anger.
It calmed her frayed nerves.

“That’ll show him” she said

As she rinsed his toothbrush and put it back in the holder.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

My Oath.......

It has been proposed that children in Britain should swear an oath of allegiance to enhance a shared sense of citizenship. I think it’s a great idea and have written the following for consideration.

What do you think?

Pledge of Allegiance

I swear allegiance to Britain.
I swear I will never jump a queue.
I swear to moan consistently about the weather, be it hot or cold.
I swear to criticise the Government (especially if I voted them in).
I swear to always question authority.
I swear never to leave my bag unattended at an airport or railway station.
I swear to recycle as much as I can, even if it can’t be recycled.
I swear to drink as many cups of tea as possible in one day.
I swear to always give directions to lost drivers with a smile.
I swear to keep the tradition of drinking warm beer.
I swear to speak in colloquialisms that foreigners cannot understand.
I swear to be anti-Europe forever.
I swear always to order things in pounds and ounces and not do metric in any way shape or form.
I swear to resist all efforts to make our currency the Euro and will start a campaign to bring back Pounds, Shillings and Pence.
I swear to complain about the amount of Tax I have to pay.
I swear to complain loudly about the price of petrol and car tax.
I swear never to use public transport as long as my car is in working order.
I swear to treat every celebrity (nonentity) with reverence.
I swear I will always watch the Queen’s/King’s speech on television on Christmas Day , (unless Star Wars is on the other side).
I swear to not allow anyone to criticise Britain (except other Brits).
And last but not least, I swear I am British and proud of it!
God Save The Queen/King.


Seriously now, I read the following suggested Pledge of Allegiance (written by someone called Sara in London – well done Sara) on the BBC website, and I feel that anyone living in our country should be willing to take it.

I pledge allegiance to the country that feeds me, that shelters me, that heals me, that educates my children. I promise to uphold the laws of this, my land, whether I was born to it, or chose to come here. I promise that, first and foremost, I will do no harm to any other citizen of this land, by action or inaction, and I hereby give my word.

Doctor, Doctor......

If you read my 55 on Friday it illustrates how some of our doctor's surgeries are run these days. MWM has just changed his doctor to the same one I see, because trying to get an appointment to see his doctor was an absolute farce.

I think the last time MWM saw a doctor was over three years ago, just before he retired – he has Hypertension but it is under control and he only has to have his BP checked every six months, other than that he is never ill. However, recently he wanted to see a doctor regarding a minor matter and his old surgery has introduced a new appointments system since he last saw a doctor.

At his old surgery one has to start ringing at 8.15 a.m. to try to get an appointment with a doctor and invariably, if/when you get through, all the appointments for that day are already booked. OK, no problem, you may be thinking, just make an appointment for another day. No can do! You have to start ringing at 8.15 a.m. the following day, and so on, and so on. MWM went to the surgery and asked to make an appointment with a doctor, not a particular doctor, any doctor.

“Ring in the morning” said the receptionist.

“I don’t want to ring in the morning, I’m here now and I want to make an appointment” said MWM.

“You can only make an appointment like this for two weeks in advance and all the appointments are taken” she said.

“OK give me an appointment in three weeks then” suggested MWM.

“No can do, you will have to come back in two weeks and make an appointment for two weeks ahead” she told him “or ring in the morning to try to get an appointment for that day”.

“Thank you for your help” replied MWM sarcastically “I’ll change doctors!”

So he went to my doctor’s surgery and registered there. He could have seen a doctor that day if he’d wanted, but he decided to wait a couple of days until he had a full medical check-up (mandatory for new patients).

My doctors have an open surgery every morning – there are three doctors on duty at any one time, you just go in and wait your turn and see a doctor of your choice, Or you can make an appointment when it’s convenient for you, if not that day then the following day. They have also introduced a service whereby you can order repeat prescriptions ‘online’, to be sent to a pharmacy of your choice for you to collect. You can also book appointments to see the doctor of your choice ‘online’, and you can even book ‘telephone appointments’, where the doctor will ring you to discuss your problem. You can see a doctor whenever is convenient for you – now call me old fashioned but isn’t that what an NHS doctor’s surgery is supposed to be like – geared to the patient? MWM is very impressed.

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Don't you just wish you had the nerve to do what this old man did....

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said,

"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said,

"You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied;

"Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied,

"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

Saturday Wordzzle #5

The idea is every week Raven (View From A Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either or both it's up to you, and you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven.

This week’s challenge: horse shoe, antique chest, marigold, lunatic, science fiction, Oregon, previously, 10 billion, google, tree hugger

Putting on her marigold gloves, Mary climbed the ladder into the loft of her uncle’s house. Uncle Jim had died suddenly and Mary had volunteered to clear out his house in Oregon. Mary didn’t know Uncle Jim very well but other family members described him as odd, a tree hugger even going so far as to call him a lunatic when the rumour went round that he had robbed a bank! It was a laborious job sifting through the junk in the loft; she eventually came across an antique chest, which she knew had previously belonged to her grandmother because she remembered seeing a photograph of it with the distinctive horse shoe on the lid. The chest was filled to the brim with science fiction comics, she thought they may be worth something so she made a mental note to get on google and see if there was a market for second hand sci-fi comics. She packed the comics into small boxes so that she could transport them down from the loft and into her car. As she removed the last of the comics from the chest she found the brown paper bags lurking in the bottom and gasped in shock when she opened them – they were stuffed full of money. Once she got over the initial shock she began to count the notes, it took her the rest of the day and when she totaled it up she realized there was close to 10 billion dollars, maybe the rumours of Uncle Jim’s bank robbery were true after all!


This week's mini challenge: pardon me, feather duster, gathering storm, furthermore, magnolia blossoms


Rocking back and forth on the porch swing Matthew watched the gathering storm on the horizon and made a mental note to sweep up the magnolia blossoms which had been scattered by the increasing wind. As the car pulled into the yard Matthew stood and peered through the spectacles on the end of his nose at the handsome woman behind the wheel. He’d met her through an online dating agency after his wife had left him and after ‘talking’ for six months this was their first meeting. Showing her into the kitchen Matthew handed her a feather duster saying “Well you may as well get started.” “Pardon me?” she said, “I didn’t come here to clean for you, furthermore this place is hardly the ‘ranch’ you described in your online profile, I’m off!”

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 19 No Can Do

No Can Do

“I need an appointment to see the doctor please”

“OK, ring next month.”

“I need to see him today, it’s urgent.”

“No can do, you’ll have to wait.” said the dictator the receptionist.

“But I can’t breathe!”

“You can’t just be ill whenever you feel like it Sir…..
we have a surgery to run here!”

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by susiestheboss. If you want to take part pop over and let Susie know when you've posted your 55.