After writing about my driving escapades yesterday I found this in my file and thought it might come in handy if you're travelling to Germany.................
Indicators....Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken
Bonnet......Pullnob und Knucklechopper
Exhaust Pipe.... Spitzenpoppenbangentuben
Speedometer..... Der Egobooster und Linenshooter
Clutch...... Die Kuplink mit schlippen und schaken
Puncture........Die Phlatt mit bludyphucken
Parking meter........... Der Tennerpinscher und klockenwerr
Windscreen Wiper .... Der Flippenflappenmuchenschpredder
Foot Brake............ Der Edbangeronvindschreen Stoppenkwik
Gear Lever......... Biggensticken fur kangaroochoppen
Breathalyser...........Die Puffinintem fur pistenarsen
Rear View Mirror......... Der Yokhunter Tecklosen
Seat Belt........... Der Klunkenklikker Fraulinestopper
Headlights........... Der Dippendontdazzelubastad
Exhaust Fumes............... Der Koffenundschpittpoluter
Traffic Jam.....Die Bluddifukkink Dammundblast
Rear Seat...........Der Schpringentester
Tyres.........Flattfahrts
Backfire.......Der Lowdenbangenmekkejumpen
Juggernaut........ Der Phukkengrett Trukken
Accident..... Der Bledinmess
Near Accident.............. Der Fukken Near Schittenselfen
Garage.......Der Heiway Robberung
Cyclist...........Der Pedallpushink Pilloken
Skid........Der Banannan Waltzen
Double White Lines........Overtaken und Krunchen
Happy Motoring.
Tuesday, 19 June 2007
Monday, 18 June 2007
Crash, bang, whallop...
I read a post at Kaleidoscope recently where she relates the tale of when she backed into a store front in her car. It reminded me of the couple of stupid bumps I have been responsible for.I admit I'm not very good at reversing my car, in fact I'd go as far as to say I'm rubbish, but before I tell you about the bumps I'll tell you how and when I started driving.
My Dad started teaching me to drive when I was 17 but I was such a nervous driver I gave up after only a few weeks. The fancy to learn to drive didn't come back until I was 37 when, suddenly, I announced on holiday "When we get back home I'm going to book driving lessons for myself". To say MWM and the kids were surprised is an understatement!
Once home I got straight on the phone and booked my driving instructor - Eric. Eric was a lovely man, mature, very calm, great reputation and I felt very safe with him. I only had one criticism of Eric, it was a bit disconcerting when I was driving along on my lessons to see him gazing out of the side window waving (in a Royal way) to all the people he knew. I kept asking myself and him "Shouldn't you be watching what I'm doing?" "You're doing just fine" he kept reassuring me.
Well I must have been doing something right because I started my weekly lessons in September and by early December I was taking my test.
On the day of my test, as if I wasn't nervous enough, Eric tells me that 'unfortunately' I had drawn the short straw and got the chief examiner who was a b...........rd by all accounts. Thanks Eric I needed that. I was last to leave the test centre that day, asking the examiner if he made allowances for nerves. My driving test didn't start very well, I hit the kerb on the way out of the test centre, but I don't think the examiner noticed because he let me carry on. The first right turn I had to negotiate flummoxed me a little. After I had stopped and positioned the car to turn right, watching for a break in the oncoming traffic, I noticed I hadn't a cat in hells chance of negotiating the turn without driving over the garden of the house on the corner. What to do? I checked my mirror and noticed the lady at the head of the queue of traffic behind me had left quite a gap (didn't she trust me?) so I put the car in reverse gear (the lady behind had a look of abject horror on her face) and slowly reversed until I was almost touching her bumper. I then checked the right turn again and thought I can do this!
Right turn completed successfully, I carried out the instructions of the driving examiner round the test route,wherever that was as it's all a blur. I can't remember doing a hill start, though I must have done as it's a necessary part of the driving test. I remember at one point not being able to get the gear stick into 3rd gear and blastpheming quite a lot. I think I managed the three point turn without mishap, but I probably could have driven to Blackpool in the time it took me to complete it. It all passed in a dream-like state and next thing I knew we were back at the test centre. You remember I said we were last to leave the centre? Well we were first back, and when I checked my watch we'd only been out for 20 minutes. Not looking good I thought, he couldn't wait to get back to safety!
Next came the Highway Code questions, I can't honestly remember what he asked me but I answered as best I could until he asked "when is it OK to overtake on the left?" - my mind went blank! I put my head in my hands on the steering wheel, thought for a minute then said "Ask me another!" Suddenly it was all over. "Well Mrs. Malu, I'm.................pleased to tell you, you've passed!" I just couldn't believe it, I insisted he'd made a mistake because I'd made so many, but he insisted I'd done just fine and after much toing and froing I finally accepted I had passed, after he'd threatened to fail me. We got out of the car just as Eric came out to greet and commiserate with me. I tell you there was nobody more surprised than Eric! Eric said the examiner must have been in a good mood that day as he never passed anyone on their first test.
Anyway, onto the part that's kept you glued to this post - my bumps.
MWM knew I wasn't very good at reversing so for a while whenever I'd been out in the car I would stop at the gate and he would come and reverse the car onto the drive for me. After a few months of this I think he got fed up of coming out in the rain and insisted it was time I did it myself. He should have had more sense.
"Ok" I said "I'll back it onto the drive but move your car further up away from the entrance to the drive, it's in my way".
"It's miles away" he said "just get on with it".
"I'll hit it" I said
"No you won't, it's not in the way" he insisted.
Well you can guess what happened can't you? Obviously I didn't turn the wheel far enough to swing the car onto the drive and I hit the front of his car making his two prize spotlights spring out like those joke eyes on coils! He can't say I didn't warn him!
After that, surprisingly, he let me practice some more and I got backing onto the drive off to a tee. Well that was until I lost my concentration one day and hit the gate. Oops. Drive forward and straighten up and try again. So I drove forward and guess what the bumper must have hooked onto the gate because I heard this scraping noise and when I checked my mirror the bumper was still stuck to the gate! MWM wasn't in at the time but as the garage couldn't do anything about it until the following day I had to tell him when he came home.
You'll be pleased to know that I've got a lot better at reversing since then, I only back into the hedge occasionally these days.
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Before the rain............
You may, or may not, know that we've had torrential rain here this week. I've posted plenty of photos of our back garden but none of the front so, as luck would have it, I got out in the front garden and took some photos before the rain flattened everything.
It's not as lush as the back garden but it's neat and we like it. We have tulips and daffodils in the front garden too but obviously they've been and gone. There's lillies and antirrhinums ready for flowering but not quite out yet.
This is dedicated to my dear Dad, who has passed on his love of gardening to me.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD, I LOVE YOU.
and a Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there.
It's not as lush as the back garden but it's neat and we like it. We have tulips and daffodils in the front garden too but obviously they've been and gone. There's lillies and antirrhinums ready for flowering but not quite out yet.
This is dedicated to my dear Dad, who has passed on his love of gardening to me.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD, I LOVE YOU.
and a Happy Father's Day to all you Dads out there.
Saturday, 16 June 2007
A Brief History of the World. Part Two...
By Richard Lederer, St. Paul's School, London. Printed in Spring 1987, Verbatim, The Language Quarterly, Vol XIII, No 4J. He says "One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. He has pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level."
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by Bernard Shaw, and victimes of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenburg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenbgerg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
The Government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of the Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation be relieving himself in a long solioquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Read A Brief History of the World Part One here.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by Bernard Shaw, and victimes of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenburg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenbgerg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
The Government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of the Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation be relieving himself in a long solioquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
Read A Brief History of the World Part One here.
Friday, 15 June 2007
Want to Play?........
I found this on Mrs Nesbitt's site, I told her I was pinching it so I don't think she'll mind me sharing it with you. It's great fun, go and have a play.
Click to Play!
Oh, and someone sent me the Alternative Olympic Logo for 2012. What do you think?
Sums up the other one in my opinion!
Also, when I did the "Eight Random facts about my town" the other day I missed out the funniest one.
Click to Play!
Oh, and someone sent me the Alternative Olympic Logo for 2012. What do you think?
Sums up the other one in my opinion!
Also, when I did the "Eight Random facts about my town" the other day I missed out the funniest one.
Heywood is known locally as MONKEY TOWN. Apparently stools with a hole in the middle used to be made here, and folk from neighbouring towns used to say it was so that Heywood folk could put their tails through the hole when they sat down because they were monkeys!
Just for the record I was born in Manchester and didn't come to live here until I was 13!
Thursday, 14 June 2007
It's easy to lose a child...............
As you see my blog is displaying a poster about Madeleine McCann, the little girl who was abducted from her holiday apartment in Portugal on the 3rd May, and has still not been found. If you want to know more, or help by displaying a banner on your blog just click on the banner which will take you to the official website.
When your child goes missing it is the worst possible thing in the world that can happen, apart from losing them altogether.
Little Madeleine has been in my thoughts ever since she was abducted and it has brought back memories of the heartstopping times when my own children went missing. The McCann's have been criticised for leaving their children whilst they were eating nearby, but you don't always think ahead and the consequences can be traumatic at best, tragic at worse.
When our eldest son was five we lived in a multi-story block of flats on the 6th floor and, as usual, one morning I got youngest son settled in his pushchair to take the elder to school. We came out the front door and whilst I was locking the door elder son pushed the button for the lift to take us down to the ground floor. Seconds later I heard the telephone ringing in our flat. I told elder son to wait whilst I ran back to answer the phone and unlocked the door and ran in. I was all of 30 seconds but when I came back out younger son was singing in his pushchair and elder son was nowhere in sight!
Can you imagine the panic I felt? He must have got in the lift, what should I do? There were 20 stories to the block, had he gone up or down? Was he riding up and down in the lift unable to reach the buttons, unable to get out? There were two lifts, should I get in one and check every floor, should I pick up baby and run down the stairs to see if the elder had gotten out anywhere, should I call both lifts jam them open then use the stairs to check other floors - I couldn't think! I couldn't think rationally. I'm panicking now just writing about it!
I have no idea what made me choose to do what I did but I called the lift, took baby in the pushchair and pressed the buttons for the five floors below and checked each one as the lift stopped. When I got to the basement, in tears, there he was with a neighbour who had got in the lift the floor below ours and waited with him in the basement knowing sooner or later I would get there. Thankfully the neighbour who found him was the only person in that block of flats who knew us, because every morning she waited with her little boy outside the flats for a lift as I set off to to take mine to school. I believe that I had help that morning in deciding what to do, a little voice in my head told me the best course of action and that's what I did, I'm thankful I listened.
Our youngest son got lost in Blackpool one summer day when we had taken the boys to the seaside for the day. We took them on the pier where there were all sorts of children's rides and a lovely little cafe where we could have a drink. On the way down to the cafe we passed some little bumper cars and of course after a drink the boys decided they wanted to go have a look. We promised them we would do it 'on the way back' but they couldn't wait. It was only about 100 yds away and eldest son at nine years old promised he would hold little one's (who was four) hand tightly and not let go. We relented and told them we would come to collect them in fifteen minutes and not to move from there.
Fifteen minutes later eldest son came sauntering over to the cafe. "Where's D" I wanted to know. He looked at me blankly, "he said he was coming back to you Mum"! The place was full of people, there's no way he would have found us, they don't have any sense of direction at three years old! Once again I was like a headless chicken but once again a little voice in my head reasoned with me.
I dispatched MWM and eldest son down either side of the pier to walk slowly, scanning the crowds to the end of the pier. I stayed put in case little one had passed us and came back looking. I told MWM when he got to the end of the pier to go to the lost children depot and report him missing if they hadn't found him in the meantime, then come back to check he hadn't returned to me.
It took them a heart-stopping half an hour to get to the lost children depot, but guess who was waiting for them when they got there? Yes, youngest son! He hadn't been found, oh no, he'd remembered I'd said to him if he got lost that was where he had to go, not with a stranger, just go there and we would find him. Thank God he'd remembered because I'd forgotten! This seemed to be a pattern for him over the next couple of years because, we would only have to look away for a second and he would wander off. I could virtually guarantee in the supermarket he would manage to lose us, but he would make his way to the customer services desk where the assistant there would announce "D is at customer services, please can you come and collect him?"
Things could have turned out so differently and I thank God every day that no harm came to our boys, we were very lucky and I pray every day that Gerry and Kate McCann's little girl, Madeliene, will be found safe and sound. They will never forgive themselves for leaving their children that night but There But For The Grace Of God Go I and, I suspect, many other parents.
When your child goes missing it is the worst possible thing in the world that can happen, apart from losing them altogether.
Little Madeleine has been in my thoughts ever since she was abducted and it has brought back memories of the heartstopping times when my own children went missing. The McCann's have been criticised for leaving their children whilst they were eating nearby, but you don't always think ahead and the consequences can be traumatic at best, tragic at worse.
When our eldest son was five we lived in a multi-story block of flats on the 6th floor and, as usual, one morning I got youngest son settled in his pushchair to take the elder to school. We came out the front door and whilst I was locking the door elder son pushed the button for the lift to take us down to the ground floor. Seconds later I heard the telephone ringing in our flat. I told elder son to wait whilst I ran back to answer the phone and unlocked the door and ran in. I was all of 30 seconds but when I came back out younger son was singing in his pushchair and elder son was nowhere in sight!
Can you imagine the panic I felt? He must have got in the lift, what should I do? There were 20 stories to the block, had he gone up or down? Was he riding up and down in the lift unable to reach the buttons, unable to get out? There were two lifts, should I get in one and check every floor, should I pick up baby and run down the stairs to see if the elder had gotten out anywhere, should I call both lifts jam them open then use the stairs to check other floors - I couldn't think! I couldn't think rationally. I'm panicking now just writing about it!
I have no idea what made me choose to do what I did but I called the lift, took baby in the pushchair and pressed the buttons for the five floors below and checked each one as the lift stopped. When I got to the basement, in tears, there he was with a neighbour who had got in the lift the floor below ours and waited with him in the basement knowing sooner or later I would get there. Thankfully the neighbour who found him was the only person in that block of flats who knew us, because every morning she waited with her little boy outside the flats for a lift as I set off to to take mine to school. I believe that I had help that morning in deciding what to do, a little voice in my head told me the best course of action and that's what I did, I'm thankful I listened.
Our youngest son got lost in Blackpool one summer day when we had taken the boys to the seaside for the day. We took them on the pier where there were all sorts of children's rides and a lovely little cafe where we could have a drink. On the way down to the cafe we passed some little bumper cars and of course after a drink the boys decided they wanted to go have a look. We promised them we would do it 'on the way back' but they couldn't wait. It was only about 100 yds away and eldest son at nine years old promised he would hold little one's (who was four) hand tightly and not let go. We relented and told them we would come to collect them in fifteen minutes and not to move from there.
Fifteen minutes later eldest son came sauntering over to the cafe. "Where's D" I wanted to know. He looked at me blankly, "he said he was coming back to you Mum"! The place was full of people, there's no way he would have found us, they don't have any sense of direction at three years old! Once again I was like a headless chicken but once again a little voice in my head reasoned with me.
I dispatched MWM and eldest son down either side of the pier to walk slowly, scanning the crowds to the end of the pier. I stayed put in case little one had passed us and came back looking. I told MWM when he got to the end of the pier to go to the lost children depot and report him missing if they hadn't found him in the meantime, then come back to check he hadn't returned to me.
It took them a heart-stopping half an hour to get to the lost children depot, but guess who was waiting for them when they got there? Yes, youngest son! He hadn't been found, oh no, he'd remembered I'd said to him if he got lost that was where he had to go, not with a stranger, just go there and we would find him. Thank God he'd remembered because I'd forgotten! This seemed to be a pattern for him over the next couple of years because, we would only have to look away for a second and he would wander off. I could virtually guarantee in the supermarket he would manage to lose us, but he would make his way to the customer services desk where the assistant there would announce "D is at customer services, please can you come and collect him?"
Things could have turned out so differently and I thank God every day that no harm came to our boys, we were very lucky and I pray every day that Gerry and Kate McCann's little girl, Madeliene, will be found safe and sound. They will never forgive themselves for leaving their children that night but There But For The Grace Of God Go I and, I suspect, many other parents.
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
Hunky Dory.....
You remember I told you about the problem with the dishwasher? Well, even though the The engineer called on Monday and didn't seem surprised that it had an intermittent fault. Apparently they do that sometimes because they have a printed circuit board which gets brittle and worn. Anyway he has a machine which tests the circuit board, which he used on ours and found it was OK. There's a surprise, wouldn't you just know it! He did say though if we have any more trouble just to telephone and he would bring a new circuit board to replace the old one. What a nice man!
All my kitchen appliances are the same age, as they were installed when I had the new kitchen fitted two years ago, so by the law of averages they will all develop faults at the same time! I took out extended guarantees on the washer and cooker as they are the most expensive items, and of course now I have the guarantee on the dishwasher, I'm just praying that the fridge/freezer and the microwave don't start acting up.
This problem got me to thinking (I do sometimes!), about how reliant we are on our electrical appliances, and how we can go into a blind panic when one of them breaks down.
Now I'm not too bothered about the dishwasher because MWM can wash the dishes by hand (wink), but if my washer broke down (God forbid) I would really go ape. I have at least five loads of washing a week, I'm forever changing the towels and of course underwear is only worn once, so being without a washer is not an option. In desperation I have taken my washing to a Launderette (mostly I have comandeered my MIL's machine) when, in the past, ours has conked out, which thankfully hasn't been very often, and certainly not the new one (turns round three times clockwise, saying dib dib dib, to be on the safe side). The washer breaking down is the one thing that really does upset me which is crazy really I know. I often think about when, as a child, I used to help my grandmother to wash all the clothes, bedding, towels, whatever, in the dolly tub using the posser, then helping her by turning the mangle whilst she fed the washing through. Why, when I enjoyed doing this so much as a child does the thought of maybe having to wash things by hand turn me to jelly?
Anyway everything in my kitchen is Hunky Dory again, 'til the next time!
I have come to the conclusion that we have things so easy now we've become SOFT!
What kitchen appliance can you NOT do without?
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
The "Eight Random Facts About Me" Tag..
Linda at "Are We There Yet?" tagged me for this meme. I already did it a little while ago, well actually I did '10 things you didn't know about me', so I'm going to use poetic licence and do
Eight Random Facts About My Town instead, but before I do I have to repeat the rules.
The rules are as follows:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. Gunpowder, Treason and Plot. A Heywood man was the key to preventing the destruction of the entire English Parliament in 1605 - and he’s the reason we celebrate Bonfire Night every November. He was Peter Heywood, a member of the famous family, and a resident of Heywood Hall. And he was reputedly the man who snatched the torch from the hand of Guy Fawkes as he was about to light the fuse which would have detonated kegs of gunpowder stashed in the cellars of the Houses of Parliament. Read more here.
2.The 'other' Peter Heywood and the Bounty mutiny incident. Another son of Heywood found himself facing an ignominious death when he was - wrongfully, it transpired, implicated in one of the most notorious episodes in British history - the Mutiny on the Bounty. Peter Heywood was a son of the famous Heywood family, born in 1773 and was just 13 years old when he joined the navy. Two years later he was a midshipman on HMS Bounty when she set sail on the fateful scientific trip to Tahiti, under the captaincy of Lieutenant William Bligh. Of course, this was the trip during which the crew, led by Fletcher Christian, mutinied over poor conditions and ship’s rations on their expedition to the South Seas. Read more here.
3.Howarth and the Co-op. The Co-operative movement is probably best known for its roots in neighbouring Rochdale, but Heywood can also claim to have played a major role in what became a worldwide institution. Charles Howarth was the architect of the first Co-op in Toad Lane, Rochdale, and it was he who invented the now famous Co-op dividend, or ‘divi’. He lived the latter part of his life in Wilton Street, Heywood, and died and was buried in the town. Read more here.
4. Queens Park. In 1873 Martin J Newhouse, a Heywood prosperous merchant died without making a will. A sum of £10,000 therefore passed to the Queen. Queen Victoria wanted Heywood to benefit from the money from Mr Newhouse’s estate. After much deliberation the Heywood board decided on a Park for the town. Read more here.
5. Heywood and its Stone Age legacy. There are signs that human activity was taking place in Heywood around 10,000 years ago. Read more here.
6. A Royal Visit. King George and Queen Mary drop in for tea and a chat. Heywood received its first visit from a King and queen on 12 July 1913, and the town came to a virtual standstill as a result. Read more here.
7. Medieval Heywood. There can be no doubt that Heywood came under the control of the next invaders of Britain - the Normans - as they conquered the whole country. Read more here.
8. Heywood a borough at last. Heywood's history may go back many centuries, but the town of Heywood, as a borough or district, is only just over 120 years old. Read more here.
Myvictims choices are as follows, but only if you want to do it. Remember the tag is 'eight random facts about me' unless you're naughty like me.
Headless Chicken at Having a word with myself.
Cynthia at Kaleidoscope
Early Bird at My Gentle Retreat
CG at The Compulsive Worrier
Drunk Mummy at Drunk Mummy
Steve at Bullet Holes in the Mailbox
Josh at The Gabbatha Journey
CS at AnotherTangential Thinker
Addendum
As Mike at Mike's Homefront is desperate to do this tag he is now on the list too.
Eight Random Facts About My Town instead, but before I do I have to repeat the rules.
The rules are as follows:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. Gunpowder, Treason and Plot. A Heywood man was the key to preventing the destruction of the entire English Parliament in 1605 - and he’s the reason we celebrate Bonfire Night every November. He was Peter Heywood, a member of the famous family, and a resident of Heywood Hall. And he was reputedly the man who snatched the torch from the hand of Guy Fawkes as he was about to light the fuse which would have detonated kegs of gunpowder stashed in the cellars of the Houses of Parliament. Read more here.
2.The 'other' Peter Heywood and the Bounty mutiny incident. Another son of Heywood found himself facing an ignominious death when he was - wrongfully, it transpired, implicated in one of the most notorious episodes in British history - the Mutiny on the Bounty. Peter Heywood was a son of the famous Heywood family, born in 1773 and was just 13 years old when he joined the navy. Two years later he was a midshipman on HMS Bounty when she set sail on the fateful scientific trip to Tahiti, under the captaincy of Lieutenant William Bligh. Of course, this was the trip during which the crew, led by Fletcher Christian, mutinied over poor conditions and ship’s rations on their expedition to the South Seas. Read more here.
3.Howarth and the Co-op. The Co-operative movement is probably best known for its roots in neighbouring Rochdale, but Heywood can also claim to have played a major role in what became a worldwide institution. Charles Howarth was the architect of the first Co-op in Toad Lane, Rochdale, and it was he who invented the now famous Co-op dividend, or ‘divi’. He lived the latter part of his life in Wilton Street, Heywood, and died and was buried in the town. Read more here.
4. Queens Park. In 1873 Martin J Newhouse, a Heywood prosperous merchant died without making a will. A sum of £10,000 therefore passed to the Queen. Queen Victoria wanted Heywood to benefit from the money from Mr Newhouse’s estate. After much deliberation the Heywood board decided on a Park for the town. Read more here.
5. Heywood and its Stone Age legacy. There are signs that human activity was taking place in Heywood around 10,000 years ago. Read more here.
6. A Royal Visit. King George and Queen Mary drop in for tea and a chat. Heywood received its first visit from a King and queen on 12 July 1913, and the town came to a virtual standstill as a result. Read more here.
7. Medieval Heywood. There can be no doubt that Heywood came under the control of the next invaders of Britain - the Normans - as they conquered the whole country. Read more here.
8. Heywood a borough at last. Heywood's history may go back many centuries, but the town of Heywood, as a borough or district, is only just over 120 years old. Read more here.
My
Headless Chicken at Having a word with myself.
Cynthia at Kaleidoscope
Early Bird at My Gentle Retreat
CG at The Compulsive Worrier
Drunk Mummy at Drunk Mummy
Steve at Bullet Holes in the Mailbox
Josh at The Gabbatha Journey
CS at AnotherTangential Thinker
Addendum
As Mike at Mike's Homefront is desperate to do this tag he is now on the list too.
Monday, 11 June 2007
Second Time....
I have been awarded a second Thinking Blogger Award by Around My Kitchen Table - how nice of her is that?I'm chuffed to little mint balls that anyone at all reads my drivel, let alone thinks it's worthy of an award, so I thank you very much and I will display it with pride.
I now have to choose 5 more recipients. People who's blogs make me think. This is difficult because I visit so many blogs and enjoy them all so much, so please don't be offended if I don't choose you, it's not because I don't like you, honest injun! I have tried to choose blogs who haven't already received the award but if you already have it I hope you will accept another one.
So here are my five choices...
Linda at Are We There Yet - Linda quite often ends her posts with a question - hence making me think.
Lettie at Lettuce-Eating - writes such 'from the heart' missives, you become really involved in what she is writing about.
Nea at The Southern View - writes about her life, her family, her surroundings - a joy to read.
Mike at Mike's Homefront - a recently discovered treasure. I love his writing and he has galvanised some of us bloggers into action with his new venture The Experiment (though it's not quite up and running yet). However, I will be honest here and say another reason I nominate him is because he has (unrequested) advertised my Grandmother's Biography on his blog and one good turn deserves another in my book. Thank you Mike. x
Last but not least, this may be breaking the rules a little bit but I'm going to do it nevertheless, by nominating two of Ruth's Blogs. Firstly There Are a Million Stories in the Naked City because it has made me really appreciate my life, what I have and what I have to lose, and was the first of Ruth's blogs I visited. Since then I have been introduced to Me, My Life, My Garden , which is not, as you might imagine, just photographs of Ruth's garden, it is so much more and a delight to read.
**********************
So there are my five choices, I hope you will all take a look at them and agree with me that they deserve the Thinking Blogger Award and I hope they will take part and display their award with pride.
To the Nominees.....
Should you choose to participate, please make sure to pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.
The participation rules are simple:
If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.
Link to the original post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme
Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
Sunday, 10 June 2007
A Brief History of the World. Part One....
By Richard Lederer, St. Paul's School, London. Printed in Spring 1987, Verbatim, The Language Quarterly, Vol XIII, No 4J. He says "One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. He has pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level."
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elswhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irrigation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The bible is full of interesting cacicatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Even were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at player the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. a myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in the Illiad, by Homer. Home also wrote the Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered beacause the Persians had more men.
Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a crual tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elswhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irrigation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
The bible is full of interesting cacicatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Even were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at player the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. a myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in the Illiad, by Homer. Home also wrote the Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered beacause the Persians had more men.
Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a crual tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Saturday, 9 June 2007
Calamity......
We had the worse calamity yesterday - THE DISHWASHER BROKE!!!!
MWM is in charge of the dishwasher (or washing up now), and he is very upset I can tell you. I'm very good because I always put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher but MWM is the one who puts the powder, rinse aid etc in it and turns it on, he also empties it, so it's his baby! Imagine his little face after lunch yesterday when he'd checked I hadn't put my dishes and cups in the wrong slots ( I do sometimes), shuffled everything about so it fitted perfectly, lovingly filled the well with powder and pressed the switch only to find nothing happened.
Akela, Akela he shouted the dishwasher's not working! Perhaps it's the fuse I venture, trying to besarcastic helpful. "I'll check it" he says. No not the fuse. All the kitchen appliances are integrated so he can't get it out to check for loose wires and things. I'll ring Whirlpool (the makers) I say. "NO, they'll charge the earth" he cries, "have a look in the local paper for a dishwasher engineer". I find one and ring.
"Ah, it's integrated you say, that means it will take me a lot longer to fix it, unless you can get it out before I arrive?" the engineer says. I pass the phone to MWM and two minutes later he tells me "Have a look in yellow pages I don't know how to get the bloody thing out!"
"I'll telephone the kitchen fitters and ask them if they can recommend anyone" I suggest. The kitchen fitters suggest my first suggestion "Ring Whirlpool, they're the best people to fix it".
MWM relents, "OK ring them but it'll cost an arm and a leg". MWM can betight cautious when it comes to money.
The lovely lady at Whirlpool explains to me that it will cost £72.50 + the cost of any parts to come and fix it but I can pay £149.00 today which will cover the cost of everything concerned with this repair, plus any repairs in the next 12 months and if it become irreparable in the next 12 months we get a replacement.
"I'll have it" I say "here's my credit card number".
They're coming on Monday to fix it and MWM is happy, as long as we have takeaways all weekend so there's no washing up!
Then guess what - two hours later the dishwasher started up on its own!!!! WTF is that all about???
As we've already paid for the call out and there is obviously something wrong with the damn thing, we're not going to cancel the engineer's visit and let him check it over.
MWM is happy he doesn't have to wash-up by hand!
News on the knee
After my marathon walk my knee feels fine, in fact yesterday I went with MWM to the local market to collect the greengrocery and then I drove the car!! I only drove it round the block to see how it felt (wierd!) but I did it.
MWM is in charge of the dishwasher (or washing up now), and he is very upset I can tell you. I'm very good because I always put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher but MWM is the one who puts the powder, rinse aid etc in it and turns it on, he also empties it, so it's his baby! Imagine his little face after lunch yesterday when he'd checked I hadn't put my dishes and cups in the wrong slots ( I do sometimes), shuffled everything about so it fitted perfectly, lovingly filled the well with powder and pressed the switch only to find nothing happened.
Akela, Akela he shouted the dishwasher's not working! Perhaps it's the fuse I venture, trying to be
"Ah, it's integrated you say, that means it will take me a lot longer to fix it, unless you can get it out before I arrive?" the engineer says. I pass the phone to MWM and two minutes later he tells me "Have a look in yellow pages I don't know how to get the bloody thing out!"
"I'll telephone the kitchen fitters and ask them if they can recommend anyone" I suggest. The kitchen fitters suggest my first suggestion "Ring Whirlpool, they're the best people to fix it".
MWM relents, "OK ring them but it'll cost an arm and a leg". MWM can be
The lovely lady at Whirlpool explains to me that it will cost £72.50 + the cost of any parts to come and fix it but I can pay £149.00 today which will cover the cost of everything concerned with this repair, plus any repairs in the next 12 months and if it become irreparable in the next 12 months we get a replacement.
"I'll have it" I say "here's my credit card number".
They're coming on Monday to fix it and MWM is happy, as long as we have takeaways all weekend so there's no washing up!
Then guess what - two hours later the dishwasher started up on its own!!!! WTF is that all about???
As we've already paid for the call out and there is obviously something wrong with the damn thing, we're not going to cancel the engineer's visit and let him check it over.
MWM is happy he doesn't have to wash-up by hand!
News on the knee
After my marathon walk my knee feels fine, in fact yesterday I went with MWM to the local market to collect the greengrocery and then I drove the car!! I only drove it round the block to see how it felt (wierd!) but I did it.
Friday, 8 June 2007
Miles and Miles and Miles.....
Is how far I walked on Wednesday!
The traditional Merry go Round Rides are not often seen these days but Southport still retains this quaint seaside tradition with this carousel at the top end of Southport's pier. The "Golden Gallopers" as it is known was built in the early 1900's and was purchased by Silcock's in 1989. It took 3 years to restore to working order and has 3 cockerels and 33 horses, all named after members of the Silccock family or their friends.
As we crossed the road and walked back into the town to have a sit down and a drink, we came across this statue of Queen Victoria and in the distance you can see an obelisk. It's not really leaning, it's just the way I took the photograph I think!
Then set off again back to Lord Street (the main shopping street) which also boasts an obelisk. I think they like them don't you? You'll be pleased to know the only shopping I did was window shopping! By this time we had walked round in a circle and it was 1.15 p.m. so time for lunch.
We found this restaurant/pub in one of the side streets and had traditional Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas - an absolute must when you go to the seaside!
Fortified, I said I just had to see the sea so there was only one thing for it - a walk to the end of the pier!
This is the start of the pier, you can just make out the sea in the distance. You can sponser a plank on the pier and have a little plaque with your name or message on it. We found this one for Ken Dodd O.B.E. Ken is a famous British Comedian. 
We also noticed a skatepark and the minature railway alongside the pier.
Of course there were children making sandcastles on the beach and enjoying Donkey Rides.
I made it! Here I am at the end of the pier having a well earned rest. Not sure who the chappie in the background is though! I sat down twice on my journey to the end of the pier but I wasn't in any pain, just tired. After all it was about 3/4 of a mile!
This is the the view I was looking at as I sat at the end of the pier - the long walk back! Shall I wait for the little tram I pondered? No, I'll walk and this time I won't stop until I reach the end.
So, off we go again.
I didn't stop once and as we got closer to the end we noticed a paddle steamer on the lake, which is just at the entrance to the pier. Only in Southport would you need a lake so close to the sea.
And just to the left of the paddle steamer a beer garden, right at the end of the pier. I was on a mission now! I need to rest and where better than in the beer garden with a lovely cool beer. I even managed to walk down the metal staircase you can see there.
MWM and I decided to have a day out as the weather forecast was so good, so we went to Southport on the train from our local railway station. I took my 'stick' with me as I intended doing a lot of walking about and still feel I need my 'comfort blanket' when I'm outside.
We got the 9.30 a.m. train and arrived there at 11.15 a.m., and the first thing we did was to walk down to the promenade. Now the promenade in Southport is not as you may imagine near the sea! Oh no, there's the promenade then you have to walk about another half a mile further to get to the sea wall.
Click on photos to enlarge
photographs copyright 2007
Here's MWM standing on the Promenade with the Marine Way Bridge behind him. You have to go over the bridge to get to the sea wall.
You drive over the bridge and come to the car park and there it is the Sea Wall. The sea is a lot further out though, even when the tide's in. It's a standing joke that you can go to Southport and never see the sea!
The traditional Merry go Round Rides are not often seen these days but Southport still retains this quaint seaside tradition with this carousel at the top end of Southport's pier. The "Golden Gallopers" as it is known was built in the early 1900's and was purchased by Silcock's in 1989. It took 3 years to restore to working order and has 3 cockerels and 33 horses, all named after members of the Silccock family or their friends.
As we crossed the road and walked back into the town to have a sit down and a drink, we came across this statue of Queen Victoria and in the distance you can see an obelisk. It's not really leaning, it's just the way I took the photograph I think!
We stopped just past Queen Victoria and sat outside a pub with a drink - cheers!
Then set off again back to Lord Street (the main shopping street) which also boasts an obelisk. I think they like them don't you? You'll be pleased to know the only shopping I did was window shopping! By this time we had walked round in a circle and it was 1.15 p.m. so time for lunch.
We found this restaurant/pub in one of the side streets and had traditional Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas - an absolute must when you go to the seaside!
Fortified, I said I just had to see the sea so there was only one thing for it - a walk to the end of the pier!
Now Southport Pier is 3,650ft (1,112m) long. There is a little tram like thingy that runs the length of the Pier but I was determined to walk!
This is the start of the pier, you can just make out the sea in the distance. You can sponser a plank on the pier and have a little plaque with your name or message on it. We found this one for Ken Dodd O.B.E. Ken is a famous British Comedian.
We also noticed a skatepark and the minature railway alongside the pier.
Of course there were children making sandcastles on the beach and enjoying Donkey Rides.
Here I am striding out about halfway on my march. I'm the one on the right with the stick!
Look how big the beach is! The sea wall is just behind the line of cars on the left, where else can you park on the beach?
I made it! Here I am at the end of the pier having a well earned rest. Not sure who the chappie in the background is though! I sat down twice on my journey to the end of the pier but I wasn't in any pain, just tired. After all it was about 3/4 of a mile!
This is the the view I was looking at as I sat at the end of the pier - the long walk back! Shall I wait for the little tram I pondered? No, I'll walk and this time I won't stop until I reach the end.
So, off we go again.
I didn't stop once and as we got closer to the end we noticed a paddle steamer on the lake, which is just at the entrance to the pier. Only in Southport would you need a lake so close to the sea.
And just to the left of the paddle steamer a beer garden, right at the end of the pier. I was on a mission now! I need to rest and where better than in the beer garden with a lovely cool beer. I even managed to walk down the metal staircase you can see there.
We drank rested there for about half an hour then it was time to set off for the train home. We had another 1/4 of a mile to walk back to the station but there was no rush, we had plenty of time.
We got to the station in plenty of time, even managing to look in a few shops on the way back, but we didn't buy anything.
The journey home was peaceful as we reflected on the lovely day we'd had and how far I had managed to walk.
We're now planning another day out, probably to York as soon as we get another good weather day. I'll keep you posted.
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