Go on have a laugh.......

Thought I'd share some funny emails with you.......

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a Vacuum cleaner.

Talk about Dyson with death.

----oOo----

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."

"Really, ..." says Mick "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

----oOo----

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.

At first I was afraid...then I was petrified

----oOo----

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.

So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

----oOo----

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.

When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.

----oOo----

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin,

3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.

I thought to myself, they've lost the plot .....

----oOo----

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70! "Blow this," I thought,

"I can get one cheaper off the web."

----oOo---- 

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

----oOo----

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

----oOo---- 

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

----oOo----

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.

I thought to myself, "That guy's heading for a breakdown."