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Friday 26 February 2010

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 108 After Dinner.....



After dinner, back at his apartment,


 
her hand caressed it's hardness.


 
It was smooth, cool to touch, it felt shiny.


 
She would show him what she could do.


 
Manipulating it into the right position, her hand closed round it.


 
Her grip was firm as she gently pulled


 
the gun from her bag and shot him.





BANG!


Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

64 comments:

Elaine Denning said...

LMAO!!!

Great one, Ak!

Anonymous said...

Shiny gave it away ;-) LOL Great 55. :)

Anonymous said...

I was aghast when I started reading this. I thought WTF? OMG This was too good. I should have known. Well done and a great 55. Have a wonderful Friday :)

Flowerpot said...

great Ak - how do you do them all?

Hootin Anni said...

I was thinking fork all the time!!!-----

DAMSEL IN DISTRESS 55 for me this week. [scroll down a bit to find 'er]

Dumdad said...

Crikey, I thought hot stuff and then the sting in the tail...

Dumdad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Miller said...

eep! hope he enjoyed the last meal...fun 55. mine is up...

anthonynorth said...

Nice twist at the end :-)

Unknown said...

I was thinking it , I was.. lol
Great one.

hugs
shakira

inappropriatesue said...

Did you have to make it a gun? It was quite... wait for it...anti-climactic, LOL!!! hehehe Great 55
I’m up right HERE

mrsnesbitt said...

Good one! (AS ever!)

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Laney :)

Glad you liked it Moms Journal :)

Did I shock you Thom? LOL

I don't know Flowerpot, they just come to me. :)

Haha I never thought of that Anni!

I hope you weren't disappointed Dumdad? (wink)

So do I Brian!

I like a twist at the end Anthony :)

Ah you weren't expecting the gun then Shakira? ;)

Cheers Realliveman

It was definitely anticlimatic for him Susan!

Thankyou Mrs N x

The Silver Fox said...

I have several comments, none of them printable! ;-) Great little twist.

the mother of this lot said...

Of course, I knew it was a gun all the time!

Completely off-topic - I have just read Kit's story. I was born in Ancoats,my grandparents are buried in Moston Cemetary, I went to a convent school in Cheetham Hill, so was often in St. Chad's church, and I will be at Mass at St. Pat's on St. Patrick's Day!

Do you think we are related?!

Peter Stone said...

Hmm, I saw the gun before I started reading, so kind a missed the other reaction. Remind me not to invite her to dinner though...

My 55 is Love returned

Valerie said...

Heehee that's the best 55 EVER. Loved it, I really did.

Jessie said...

lol
fabolous!!!!!

warm, laughing smiles,

Akelamalu said...

OH do tell me what you were going to say Silver Fox! :)

Did you really guess the ending MOTL? I think we could be related LOL. I hope you enjoyed KIT. x

Oh it's a shame you saw the gun Peter. Thanks for stopping by to read and commenting. :)

So glad you liked it Val x

Cheers Jesse :)

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

ha ha ha ha ha...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ed & Jeanne said...

And women wonder why we don't understand them... ;)

Nice ending!

Here's my 55 here

quilly said...

My mind was on a completely different tack until you got to "shiny" and then I was WTF? Great ending.

The Silver Fox said...

@Akelamalu: Okay, you asked for it. Here are the "cleanest" two.

1. Several commenters we're thinking "it" was one thing, until the word "shiny" was used, which confused them. Well, almost anything can look shiny, if it gets wet... somehow...

2. In stories that begin this way, it's usually not the woman who "shoots" at the end...

secret agent woman said...

This is probably the first of these I've guessed from the first sentence, without the picture.

Ron said...

OMG...this was HYSTERICAL!!!!!!

You had me going all the way until I got to the end!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BRAVA, m'dear!

FLAWLESS!

Have a wonderful weekend!

X

Akelamalu said...

You liked it Bee! :)

How can you NOT understand women VE? LOL BTW welcome and thanks for commenting. :)

Ah I wonder what you were thinking Quilly? ;)

I made the mistake of reading your no2 comment with a mouthful of tea Silver Fox - now you can imagine what's wet!

You must be psychic SAW!

Akelamalu said...

Crikey Ron you slipped in there whilst I was replying to comments! So glad you liked it hon and I'm glad it kept you guessing. x

Mona said...

LOL @ Silver fox!

That was a very naughty55ve!

Smalltown RN said...

OH my....a tad steamy with a twist!

Akannie said...

LOL..

It must have been a horrid meal.

Great 55 and I'm glad I've found you!!

Linda said...

Ok, so I'm thinking she's grabbing the handle of a cast iron skillet to whump him upside the head with but oh no, you go me one better and give her a gun! You are SO good at this!

Butt Nekkid Bath Boutique said...

LMAO! That was good! Had me all the way to the end. What a twist!

~ Mzz Thang
www.Fo-Shizzle.com

Nessa said...

You are such a tease.

; )

One Single Impression - Insomnia

buffalodick said...

That's what my wife would do if I suggested what you implied was going on! :) Good One!

Unknown said...

I read your words and started to think that you have changed your site to an adult orientated site. My eyes darted from word to word and the anticipation of a sensual story started to play with my inner senses. It was the last line that did me in. The last laugh was on me.

That was my 55.
Thanks that was fun.

Buzzard said...

She did what? With what? LOL

Mine's Up: The Loft

Anonymous said...

Shiny, eh? I always preferred the matte black finish, personally.

Nicely done.

Mine is here.

Cloudia said...

You GoT me!


Aloha, Pearly Sistah


Comfort Spiral

g-man said...

Ake...?
You evil little thing you!
I Loved This 55!
Absolutly thru and thru...YOU!
Thank you so much for your daily brilliance...You Rock!
Have a Kick Ass Week-End...Galen

Akelamalu said...

It was naughty wasn't it Mona LOL

Yes it was RN :)

Probably Akanni. I'm glad you found me too. :)

She wanted something a bit more deadly than a skillet Linda ;)

Welcome Foshizzle, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

I try Nessa :)

Hehe whatever do you mean Buff? ;)


Sorry if I shocked you for a minute or two Dave LOL


Glad you liked it Buzzard and welcome to my home from home.


Are we talking guns here Titanium? ;)


Haha, you and a few others I think Cloudia!


Me, Evil? What do you mean G-man? LOL

The Silver Fox said...

"I made the mistake of reading your no2 comment with a mouthful of tea Silver Fox - now you can imagine what's wet!"

Yes, I can... but please tell me anyway. ;-)

Akelamalu said...

PS Fo-shizzle for some reason I cannot comment on your blog sorry.

Akelamalu said...

Why Silver Fox my keyboard of course! ;)

The Silver Fox said...

Oh. That would've been my second guess.

Akelamalu said...

And your first guess was what Silver Fox?

The Silver Fox said...

Why, your computer monitor, of course!

What were you thinking? ;-)

Akelamalu said...

I'm really not sure Silver Fox because I don't know you well enough yet. ;)

The Silver Fox said...

Irish-English-Lithuanian Scorpio, notorious flirt... What else do you need to know?

Akelamalu said...

Well that's enough to be going on with. Fellow Scorpios are always good fun I find. I'm sure we'll get to know each other better the more we read each other's blogs. :)

maryt/theteach said...

Thanks, Akalamalu, great reading! :)

Travis Cody said...

Well!

Maggie May said...

What a charming young lady. Wondered what she was holding.

Nuts in May

hope said...

Remind me never to make you angry. :)

Have a good weekend!

Susan at Stony River said...

LOL My kind of girl!!

happily retired gal said...

Oh my! That one took me by surprise for sure.
Hugs and blessings,

Mimi Lenox said...

I thought I knew you and your Flash Fiction! You got me again!!!

I'm reading along thinking...."what turn is she gonna take?" ..."where is going with this?"...."I'll bet she's going to stick to the erotic trail just to throw us off the obvious trail if you know what I mean"...and then wham! You did it again.

I bow to your awesomeness.

Anonymous said...

I started reading and had to look around the office to see who was around... then she just shot him. Phew!

cheshire wife said...

No messing about then!

Finding Pam said...

Sexy and brilliant...and a bit naughty!

Akelamalu said...

My pleasure Teach :)

Indeed Trav ;)

I'm not sure 'charming' describes her well Maggie LOL

LOL it's not me Hope :0

I thought you'd like it Susan :)

Aha, gotcha Happily Retired Gal!

Thankyou Mimi,coming from a great writer such as yourself that is indeed a compliment. x

Were you blushing Eternally Distracted? LOL

No Cheshire Wife she was thoroughly p****d at him! LOL


Cheers Pam :)

tony said...

Aw Shucks! It Started Off So Romantic !

Akelamalu said...

LOL indeedy Tony :)

TBM said...

HA! Totally LOL.

Akelamalu said...

Glad you liked it JAPRA