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Thursday, 28 June 2007

What your teacher really meant.....

Ever wondered what your teacher really meant with those remarks on your school report?



Satisfactory progress....................
I can't think of a single interesting thing to say.


A born leader...............................
Runs the playground protection racket.


Easy going............................
Bone idle.


Lively..................................
Thoroughly disruptive.


Good progress.............................
If you think their work is bad now you should have seen it this time last year.


A sensitive child..................
Never stops whining.


Helpful........................
Creep.


Reliable..................................
Grasses on their mates.


Adventurous............................
Will break their neck before the year's out.


Has difficulty in forming relationships..............
I can't stand ethem either.


Expresses themself confidently.............
Cheeky little **!!***!!!!


Enjoys PE activities................
Thug.


Has a lot of minor illnesses..................
Truants regularly.


Friendly..................
Never leaves me alone or shuts up.


Easily distracted...........
Hasn't handed in a piece of work all year.


Works better in a small group............
Daren't take my eyes off them for a second.


Imaginative......
Lies and cheats regularly.


Needs praise and encouragment.......
Thick as two short planks.


Expresses themself clearly..............
Foul mouthed.


Keen to do well.................
Egotistical.



All their work is of a high standard................
They have ambitioius middle class parents.


Does not accept authority easily....
Father's doing time.


Is easily upset..............
Spoilt rotten.


Often appears tired................
Stays up late watching horror videos.


Works better at practical activities....
Totally illiterate.


Good with their hands............
Light fingered.


A rather solitary child..................
Smells or has nits.


Independently minded.................
Totally obstinate.


Enjoys extra-curricular activities.............
Flogs cheap fags at break times.


Determined.....................
Completely lacking any scruples.


Inclined to daydream.......................
In one ear and out the other.


A good sense of humour.....................
Teases the other kids unmercifully.


Reads well aloud.................
Loves the sound of their own voice.


A quiet child....................
Lacking any individuallity whatsoever.


Easily influenced.............................
The class mug.


Popular with the other students...............
sells pornographic pictures at break.


A vivid imagination...............
Always has an excuse.


A very inquisitive mind............
Often caught playing doctors and nurses.


Does not give classes their full attention...............
Smokes in the toilets.


Often needs guidance...................
Always in the Head's room.

63 comments:

Miss Understood said...

And all that time I thought I was the model student!

Great stuff!

Flowerpot said...

yes that all makes sense. NO wonder I always had such terrible reports!

Catch said...

haha...these are too funny! I love them!

Akelamalu said...

miss u I did too, how wrong can you be??? :(

Akelamalu said...

flowerpot You too eh?

Akelamalu said...

Glad you had a giggle catch. :)

MarmiteToasty said...

ROFTLMRSSO!!!!! to funny :)...... some of my old reports are soooo funny.....

Ive added you to me blob roll thingie..... cos I need to be here and read your blob everyday, its great.....

x

la bellina mammina said...

hmmm...almost all of 'em apply to me... LOL!;-)

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Marmie, you're on mine too. :)

Akelamalu said...

Oh Bella I can't believe that!

buffalodickdy said...

That brought back memories....

Annelisa said...

lol...needed that!

Just stopping by to say thanks for stopping by again... I do really appreciate it... even when I'm not blogging around!

Funeral's tomorrow. I'm dreading it. Even with all the warning, I still can't believe it's here :-(

Big hugs back

Helen said...

LOL I love this!

Akelamalu said...

Not all bad I hope buffalodickdy?

Akelamalu said...

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow Annelisa. I hope it goes as well as is possible for all of you. x

Akelamalu said...

Glad you had a laugh Helen. :)

Dave said...

These are great there are some in there that I was labled now I know the real meaning. LOL

talj said...

What a great post! Really made me chucle...I'm off to dig out my old school reports now LOL :o)

Akelamalu said...

Dave really? Of course my reports were always excellent! ((wink))

Akelamalu said...

Don't do it Talj, you don't really want to know do you?

Dumdad said...

I remember one master wrote in a boy's report:

"This pupil's progress was constipated by his verbal diarrhoea."

Autumn said...

That is cute. I don't remember seeing it before. I'm going to Steal, I mean "borrow" it to send some email pals

Mike M said...

Great!! Just Great!! I'm still laughing!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

great morning laugh! thanks...

smiles, bee

Queenie said...

Thats my dreams shattered!!!

Angel Mama ( Pearls of WIsdom) said...

Hilarious and I can always trust you for a laugh and some great piece of needed information.

Hugs,

Angel ():)

Akelamalu said...

Ho, ho, dumbdad I've not heard that one before! :)

Akelamalu said...

Did you recognise any Mike?

Akelamalu said...

A good laugh is good medicine Bee. :)

Akelamalu said...

I can't believe any teacher wrote those comments on your reports queenie! ;)

Akelamalu said...

Angel Wait there's more! :)

Jenny! said...

That was so great! I love those! I worked for a supplemenatal education company and when the kids would bring in their report cards...you could almost sense the sarcastic undertones of some comments! Great!

Akelamalu said...

Teachers have a 'coded' language of their own when it comes to reports Jenny. PS I'm not a teacher!

Gledwood said...

to coin an expression used by my old English teachers, that post is "v.g."
haha!!
!!
have a great weekend!

gleds

"Early Bird" said...

What a cute list!
:)

Pauline said...

very funny and so true!
Watch out for "a quiet child who gives no trouble" = "I didn't notice he was in my class"

Gledwood said...

"great weekend!!"
sorry my scrambled brains
too knackered
ok i know it is only thursday now
sorry!

Akelamalu said...

gledwood your comment was v.g. too! Thanks :)

Akelamalu said...

I'm sure you wouldn't recognise any of those comments from your school reports early bird:)

Akelamalu said...

That's a good one too Pauline. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you call in again. :)

.. Dallas Meow >^^ said...

a pleasure to have in class?

wait, that was the nuns and they made me help dust the church cuz I always got there early

:(

Akelamalu said...

dalla meow Oh that's not fair! Thanks for stopping by. :)

RUTH said...

OO-er and there was me thinking I done well at school Come to think of it I thought my kids did well too!!!...I know better now...LOL...great post!

Helen said...

Thanks for the comment about the web site. Yes, I'm doing it all myself. I did ask Dave to do me one...still waiting so I took matters into my own hands! :)
I will add it to my link list
H XXXXX

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed it Ruth :)

Akelamalu said...

Helen YOU ARE A CLEVER GIRL! XX

Leanne said...

that was sooo funny! brilliant post! thanks for the comment today, i am slowly learning how to add pictures and videos, thanks to my mum's expert advice x

Dan's Fi-ver said...

Are you sure teacher would be imaginative enough t come up with such things?!

D
x

Around My Kitchen Table said...

I once had the comment, "She suffers from a misplaced sense of humour" on a report. My parents thought it was hilarious. I spent the next few years looking for it.

Linda said...

One of my good friends is a teacher and I think she would agree totally with this post!

Come to think of it, I seem to recall some of those on my report card from time to time!

Bankerchick said...

I have uses some of those phrases in my evaluations of students, sooo true.

Akelamalu said...

You're doing really well Leanne, thanks for dropping by. :)

Akelamalu said...

I'll check through your old reports Dan and see! :)

Akelamalu said...

around my kitchen table
LOL that was funny!

Akelamalu said...

I hope your friend won't take offence Linda!

Akelamalu said...

Thanks bankerchick. :)

Skittles said...

Hahaa! My daughter always got the "friendly" then the teacher would make the talks too much motion with her hand!

Shaz said...

lol, I'll remember these come July when the girls bring their school reports home x x

julia said...

I agree with Pauline. My friend and I always used to make fun of this comment we'd both get on our report cards: "Pleasant to have in the classroom." That really meant they couldn't quite remember who you were and had to look up your name on the seating plan. Your list is a killer!

Akelamalu said...

He he, that's funny skittles :)

Akelamalu said...

Let us know if any of these appear on their reports won't you Shaz?

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed it Julia :)

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