Followers

Tuesday, 5 June 2007

Double Entendres........

Here are some extracts from letters received by the Gas Board...


Can you move the meter so that it won't cause an obstruction in my passage?


The Electric man did it through the floorboards but your man put it in my front passage where everyone can see it, and I don't like it so much in the kitchen as I did in the shop window.



I told my husband it was safe to have it in all night, but he won't. If he comes to the showroom like I did, can the lady satisfy him behind the counter and talk him out of it?



I was told mine was no good but if it is altered I can get the North Sea in.



I have heard there are two ways you can have it and it worked out cheaper the more you got if you have it the other way.



I am not satisfied with an apprentice, so will you send a man to do it properly?



My wife will be ready for your man if you will let her know when he is coming on a postcard.



I will try to pay before the end of the month because my husband will be surprised if you cut it off without telling him.



My husband is pretty handy but he says your men can do it better because of their tools.



It has gone slack with use and my husband can't make it tight no matter how he tries, so for the time being we are making do with an old gas ring.



My slot is not blocked now but your men made an awful mess banging their tools on the wall.



Since I made arrangements with your salesman I am having a baby and would like to change it for a drying cabinet.



My neighbour has a bigger one than we had, it makes a difference to her water when she fills the bath.



My husband was under the impression I was getting it at reduced rates but your salesman didn't use his head and got me into trouble.



It is about time your workmen came back to fill the hole because we are fed up of having it in the street, it is a big attraction and we are getting children by the dozen.

It's Peace Globe Day tomorrow folks. If you want to join in read all about it and get your Peace Globe at Mimi Writes.

My knee
Tuesday 5th June
Doing really well, walking quite a bit more, still with the crutch outside but it's just a security blanket really.

31 comments:

Cream said...

hahahaha, What a good laugh!
The things people say without thinking!

Akelamalu said...

cream
One should definitely think before one opens one's mouth!! :)

Annelisa said...

:-) ...or getting one anywhere in the house, or out in the road for that matter!

What a laugh... what's the expression? ROFLSIWM (I think that's 'roll on the floor laughing so I wet myself' but I could be wrong! :-D )

I suppose I'd better go change then, seeing as I'm in school!

Akelamalu said...

Ooops annelisa! :)

Drunk Mummy said...

Great stuff - pure 'Carry On' humour, which is right up my street!

Miss Understood said...

Can you remember this one, said by BBC cricket commentator, Brian Johnston...

"The batsman's Holding the bowler's Willey."

Classic!

Akelamalu said...

drunk mummy
Mine too!

Akelamalu said...

miss u
Yes I remember it well - a classic!

Queenie said...

The things we say when mouth and brain not in gear!!!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

very funny my friend! thanks...

smiles, bee

Akelamalu said...

queenie
Quite!

Akelamalu said...

Bee
You're welcome honey.

Catch said...

I got quite a chuckle out of these!!!! we should always think before we open our mouths, but who does??? !!! LOL

Akelamalu said...

catch
It's so easy to do! :(

Josh said...

Haha... these are funny! Peace

Akelamalu said...

josh
Peace to you too hon.

Annie said...

you just keep on crackin' me up, akelamalu. ba

Elween said...

ya...when our brains are at rest, this is what will happen. i try not to laugh becoz actually we are laughing at ourselves (we are of the same kind) but...just can't help stop laughing!:)

Pearls of Wisdom said...

Very funny ! Peace to you my friend.

Love and Light,

Angel ():)

Akelamalu said...

annie
Got you. :)

Akelamalu said...

elween
Carry on laughing, it's good for you.

Akelamalu said...

angel
And to you. x

Mike M said...

Tears.....tears are coming down from laughing!!

-0-0-

Nea said...

OH my gosh.......what people will write in all of their best intentions.

I remember once I wrote, "I hang wallpaper with my husband."

Someone replied, that must be interesting to watch......do you have problems with him sticking to the wall?

Anndi said...

Thanks for the laugh!

*wipes away giggle tears and gets up off the floor*

Akelamalu said...

mike
You liked then? :)

Akelamalu said...

nea
Oh that's funny! If only we thought before we speak! :(

Akelamalu said...

anndi
Glad you enjoyed it. Welcome to my blog and thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

RUTH said...

LOL...I remember once my Mum saying after a house move "Yes the piano was stuck right up my back passage"...I never could explain to her why it made me laugh.

Akelamalu said...

ruth
What a classic! LOL

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