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Monday 30 April 2012

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #50



Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.


Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.


This week's word is THWART here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.




T-Rex learned that gargantuan dimentions meant nothing,
when it's attempt to grab the man was thwarted due to it's ridiculously short arms.

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Don't make old people mad......

Checking  out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that  she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't  good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained,  "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The  clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not  care enough to save our environment for future  generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the  green thing in its day or didn't call it "green."

Back then, we  returned milk bottles, soda bottles, and beer bottles to the store.  The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and  refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they  really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our  day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator  in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and  didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two  blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our  day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't  have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy  gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really  did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down  clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.  But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in  our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house --  not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a  handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of  Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we  didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we  packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old  newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap Back  then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the  lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by  working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills  that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green  thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty  instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink  of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new  pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing  away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't  have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the  streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked  instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one  electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a  dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive  a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to  find the nearest pizza joint.

But the current generation  laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the  green thing back then?



Remember:  Don't make old people mad!
We  don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to  tick us off.

Monday 23 April 2012

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #49



Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.


Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.


This week's word is ENCHANT here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.



When Daniel's plane crashed in the jungle he was relieved then enchanted by the tribe who rescued him, until they invited him to be dinner. 

Friday 20 April 2012

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #198 Brave.....






The tension was unbearable,

standing in a slowly diminishing line.

Others wending their way back, having completed their mission.

Some smiling, some grimacing, one thing in common.

He stood stonefaced, giving nothing away, shaking inside.

He was in the army, he couldn't run

but he was terrified of needles and had to have his shots.




Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Wednesday 18 April 2012

Severn Valley Day 1....

A couple of weeks ago we went on yet another jaunt, this time to visit the Severn Valley and the delights it has to offer.  Our hotel destination was The Village in Dudley in the West Midlands near Birmingham but we stopped in Worcester for some lunch with time to mooch about and take a few photographs.

This is Worcester Town Hall.


 Worcester is a lovely town with lots of old and new buildings.


Here's the quaint little pub where we had lunch.


A half timbered building across an alleyway.


Worcester Cathedral.


Worcester Cathedral is a magnificent sight as it rises majestically above the River Severn. Worcester has been the seat of a bishopric since the Seventh Century, and the Cathedral was served by monks until the Reformation. St Oswald and St Wulfstan were among the bishops. Since the Eighteenth Century, the Cathedral has been famous for its part in the annual Three Choirs Festival, the oldest choral festival in existence.  We really wanted to tour inside the cathedral but unfortunately there was a service on so it wasn't possible. If you follow the link above you can find out more about the Cathedral.


We didn't have very long in Worcester before we had to rejoin the coach to carry on our journey to the hotel.


I hope you'll join me next time for The Severn Valley Railway and some glass blowing.

Monday 16 April 2012

Succinctly Yours - A Microfictioin Meme #48



Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.


Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.


This week's word is TRANSPORT here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.



When Al asked his mother for something for his birthday that had an engine, what he had in mind was some form of transport,not a lawnmower.

Friday 13 April 2012

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #197 Noisy....






That noise is driving me mad, he thought.,

What a time to be practising singing.

No consideration for people who are trying to sleep.

Put a pillow over my head.

I'm at my wit's end, if I had a gun I'd shoot them.

I suppose it's no use complaining,

No-one can stop the Dawn Chorus.


Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Housework was a woman's job......

 but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children  bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the  dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was  astonished!

It turns out that Dave had read an article that  said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework  were too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The  next day, Janice told her  friends all about it. 'We had a  great dinner. Dave even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids  do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really  enjoyed the evening.

'But what about afterward?' asked her  friends.

 'Oh, that........... Dave was too  tired.'

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Something to make you smile.......





1 .  Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd  think at least one of them would have seen  it.
2.  Phone answering machine message - '...If you want  to buy marijuana, press the hash  key...'
3.  A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only  Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I  can clearly see you're  nuts.' 

 
4.  I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other  day but I couldn't find any. 

 
5.  I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him  50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the  top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too  high.' 

 
6.  My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong  currant pulled him in. 

 
7 .  A man came round in hospital after a serious  accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't  feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, 'I know you  can't, I've cut your arms  off'.
 

 
8.  I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a  muscle. 

 
9. Two  Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit  a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for  all that you can't have your kayak and heat  it. 

 
10. Our  ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his  van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police  say that he topped himself. 

 
11.  Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing  out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some  cream to put on it.'
 

 
12.  'Doc I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass  of Home'
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.  '
'Is it common?'
'It's not  unusual.'
 

 
13. A  man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is  cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for  him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look  at him'
So he picks the dog up and examines his  eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says,  'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What?  Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's  really heavy'

14. Guy goes into the  doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up  my bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Don't you  start.'
 

 
15. Two  elephants walk off a cliff...boom,  boom! 

 
16.  What do you call a fish with no eyes? A  fsh. 

 
17..  So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says  to me 'Can you give me a lift?'
I said 'Sure,  you look great, the world's your oyster, go for  it..'
 



 
18.  Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was  drinking battery acid, and the other was eating  fireworks. They charged one and let the other one  off. 

 
19. 'You  know, somebody actually complimented me on my  driving today. They left a little note on the  windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was  nice.' 

 
20.  A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt  my arm in several places'
The doctor said,  'Well don't go there  anymore'
 


Just wanted to leave you with something to make you smile as I won't be posting again until next week, we're away for a few days come Friday.  Have a great week(end). 
 

Monday 2 April 2012

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #47



Grandma at Grandma's Goulash provides a picture and a word prompt for this Microfiction Meme and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.


Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.


This week's word is BOUNCE here's the picture and my offering using the picture and word of the week  in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.







Preparing to jump off the of top of the boat, on the snorkeling trip, Alison thought..

"I hope I bounce if I hit the deck before the water!"