Followers

Friday 12 September 2008

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #43 Leave me Alone

Leave Me Alone



The door creaked open and he sneaked in quietly.



She froze as the hand snaked it's way underneath her.



She hated the daily interference, his cold, invading hand.



She wasn't the only one though, he targeted her sisters too.



Why couldn't he leave them alone?


All they wanted was



to hatch their eggs in peace.




This 55 was inspired by my post on Monday about my son's hens.



Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.



The answer to the Conundrum on my last post is the men paid £25 for the room between them, got £3 back between them and gave the bellboy £2 therefore £25 + £3 + £2 = £30.    It's the way it's told that makes it a conundrum, like when you count on your fingers 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, + five on the other hand = 11.

33 comments:

RUTH said...

I love the twist at the end of this tale.
Rx

Pam said...

darn men, always messing w hens eggs LOL cute 55 ake. thx for explaining the mathematical crap to me. LOL i'm up now, too...w a dark one.

Around My Kitchen Table said...

Love this! I'm going to forward this to my sister who has just started keeping chickens. XX

buffalodick said...

Chickens and more chickens!

Flowerpot said...

I got lost on a walk this week and met two of hte hugest chickens I've ever seen - most robust they were!

Elaine Denning said...

Ooh, that was clever! You'd be great at writing short stories for magazines, Ak. Your endings are brilliant.

RiverPoet said...

I love the twists you always put into your stories!

Peace - D

James Goodman said...

great 55, I'm eternally thankful for the twist. I thought it was going to a very dark place, lol. :D

storyteller said...

Hahahah … you got me again! I was all set for a SERIOUS Flash Friday … and now Molly has come over to ‘check out’ what I’m laughing about! Hmmm … eggs. Maybe I’ll make myself breakfast? Thanks to you (and a few other 'followers' too) I took time to check out what this new Blogger thing is about and have added the widget to the sidebar at Small Reflections and imported blogs to 'follow' myself from Google Reader ... so maybe I'll get here in a more 'timely' fashion from now on? We'll see ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

oh my GOSH! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Akelamalu said...

I'm pleased you like it Ruth x

I bet you thought this was a dark one at first didn't you Ciara? ;)

Ah someone else keeping chickens AMKT, it seem to be very popular now!

Yes Buff, we'll all be clucking soon! :)

I was surprised at how big Nick's chickens are Flowerpot! :0

Aw thanks Laney, you're very kind. x

Thanks Riverpoet, I'm glad you like them. :)

It was meant to read like that James to accommodate the twist. ((wink))

I got you as well Storyteller! I learnt about 'follower' from someone else's blog too. We learn something new every day don't we? :)

You like it Bee! :)

Mona said...

LOL! what a twist!

I am reminded of Queenie's 'girls' now!

I hope she is doing well. I am praying for her quick recovery!

Shrinky said...

I confess - you had me there - Oh, you are so naughty allowing me to believe the worst..!

Linda said...

Another great twist as usual!

And thanks for explaining the conundrum - makes sense now that you explain it all out like that.

Mojo said...

Oh you tease! I had visions of you taking the same path Ciara and I did this week... more like a dark alley than a path actually, but *sigh* I must give the fans what they want.

(And hey, d'you mind introducing me to Shrinky up there? She's hawt!)

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Mona. Queenie's op is scheduled for Monday.

I couldn't go there Shrinky! BTW Mojo wants and introduction (see comment) so Shrinky meet Mojo.

The conundrum is quite easy Linda, when you know the answer! ((wink))

Glad you liked it MOjo and I've introduced you to Shrinky (see above) so Mojo meet Shrinky! :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

This is my favorite 55 OF ALL TIME!

You rocked this one!

Dianne said...

love it!! hens can be inspirational now can't they!? lol

Polt said...

Hehehe, started out creepy and then turned funny! :)

HUGS...

Akelamalu said...

Aw thanks RLL x

Oh yes definitely Dianne :)

That was the idea Polt Glad you liked it. :)

TopChamp said...

Ah - Chickens. COOL story - I do love the chickens. I also love the twists you put in these.

Liquid said...

Awesome.......ya' kinda' had me goin' there for a minute.........yikes!

Fantastic and what a pleasure to meet you!

Much~

Donnetta said...

Hello, "A:" Now, that was a really good one! I do like it! That cold hand was giving me the creeps!
Donnetta

Deb said...

The little hairs on the back of my neck were standing up on end - I wasn't even sure I could finish reading it -it is dark outside and I am home alone ~ but then...chickens!! I felt a bit foolish for having been scared ;)

G-Man said...

You and your chickens!!
Although I really enjoyed the intrigue..hehehehe
Thanks for playing so marvelously, and have a Great Week-End!
Galen..xo

KB said...

Phew, I'm so happy the story wasn't taking the direction I thought it was. Nice job.

Ron said...

This Flash ties in so PERFECTLY with your previous post!!

How neat!

Whenever I read these, I like to scroll down line by line, so I'm suprised by the punchline.

And as always....I WAS!!!

I love doing that!

Hey...and thank you for sharing the answer to the conundum, because I haven't slept since Wednesday trying to figure it out!

HA!

Thanks for another great Flash 55, Akelamalu!

Enjoy your weekend, dear lady!

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Topchamp :)


It's a pleasure to meet you too Liquid, Im pleased you enjoyed it. :)


The hand gave me the creeps too Donnetta! :0


Don't feel foolish Deb that is exactly the effect I was aiming for, so that's good! :)


Glad you liked it g-man :)


So am I KB!


I try to space the lines so that the end isn't immediately obvious Ron, I hope everyone reads them the way you do otherwise it will spoil the effect. You can tell all your friend that conundrum now you know the answer ((wink)).

MarmiteToasty said...

Brilliant........ I love how almost all of your 55s leads ya mind down a completely different path to where ya end up lol

x

Mimi Lenox said...

OHh....you got me! As usual....I love these. You do them sooo well.

Akelamalu said...

Ah Marmie that is exactly the effect I go for, so glad it works. :)

Haha I got you too Mimi. The trouble is you're all gonna second guess the outcome before long!

Travis Cody said...

HA! I love the way you craft these double meanings and then spring the twist.

Akelamalu said...

Cheers Trav, so glad you like them. :)