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Saturday, 10 January 2009

Saturday Wordzzle # 45





The idea is, every week Raven (View From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.



Here's my efforts complete with my doodles.








This Week's Ten Word Challenge is: We were born on the same day in the same hospital, Weeping willow, Two for one sale, Highway robbery, Burial ground, roll of paper towels, gospel singer, gallows, weirdo, volcano










“We were born on the same day in the same hospital and we are going to the gallows together for highway robbery, like a two for one sale, how weirdo is that?” asked Bob.




“What was your last request?” asked Jim




“I want to be wrapped in a roll of paper towels so I look like a mummy and be buried in a grave that looks like a volcano!” Said Bob “What was yours?”


“I want an oak casket with a Gospel singer preceding the cortege to the burial ground, where I want to be buried under a weeping willow” said Jim.




Mini Challenge: Symbiosis, Sagging breasts, Navaho blanket, Frogmen, Who says I got no heart?





Hugging the Navaho blanket around her sagging breasts the old indian woman sat watching the various species that existed in the river, living in harmony, a perfect example of symbiosis. Her son-in-law, Frogmen, had abandoned her there to die, claiming “Who says I got no heart?.  I could kill you, but at least this way you stand a chance!”


Megawordzzle






Mona first met Ida at church one Sunday evening in the middle of summer. After the service they struck up a conversation after Mona asked about the Navaho blanket Ida was wearing as a poncho and Ida enquiring if Mona was a gospel singer. They instantly felt a connection and became good friends, combining their talents in their service of the church and found out much about each other.

“How extraordinary that we were born on the same day in the same hospital” said Ida after discovering this fact. Ida had been adopted and had never managed to trace her birth parents, though she did know her father was part of a crack team of frogmen in the navy who had died on a mission before she was born.

“Another coincidence” cried Mona “so was mine, perhaps they were on the same mission?”

As the months went on their friendship strengthened, they became reliant on each other, in what could be described as symbiosis had they been two different species. They went shopping together, especially when there was a two for one sale on shoes, for which they both had a penchant, hell they even had a boob job together to cure their sagging breasts! That escapade earned them the title weirdos from their acquaintances but they didn’t give a damn, except they complained bitterly that what they’d been charged for the op was nothing short of highway robbery!

Ida asked if Mona would like to meet for lunch on New Year’s Day.

“We could go to The Volcano, they’ve got special deal on for New Year’s Day and I’ll pay” laughed Ida “who says I got no heart?”

Of course Mona agreed but said she had to go to lay flowers on her mother’s grave first, Ida offered to go with her.

They met at the burial ground and laughed when they realised they had chosen the same flowers. Mona led the way explaining that her mother’s grave was in a secluded spot quite close to a weeping willow. As they reached the grave Mona took a roll of paper towels from the bag she was carrying, pulled off a few sheets and began cleaning the headstone. Ida watched as the names on the stone became clear –










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“I don’t believe it” said Ida “those were my birth parents’ names. Did I tell you I had a twin Mona? I was told she died at birth! You never told me your maiden name was Gallows!”

Friday, 9 January 2009

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 58 Diet?

Diet?


Sometimes he wished he could lose weight.


He'd always been big, but now he weighed over 23 stones!


As soon as he'd been accepted for the job he'd started overeating.


 




Strangely the bigger he got the more popular he became.


All his friends were overweight too.


They had to be.....



They were all Sumo wrestlers.





Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Things I've done.......

Being short of blogging material I unashamedly swiped this from Saz at Fat,frumpy & 50.

It's dead easy all you have to do is bold the ones on the list that you've done


1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars- no but I've partied under the stars until dawn!
3. Played in a band - I played the triangle once in a music lesson at school.
4. Visited Hawaii - in my dreams and via Cloudia's blog.
5. Watched a meteor shower - I've seen a shooting star!
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - no but I do give some.
7. Been to Disneyland (Disney World) - no and I don't want to.
8. Climbed a mountain - does a very large hill count?
9. Held a praying mantis - do they bite?
10. Sang a solo - I was only 8 at the time and had no shame!
11. Bungee jumped - no, do you think I'm mad?
12. Visited Paris - no but it's on my to do list.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - yes caligraphy, that's an art isn't it?
15. Adopted a child - no but a few of my sons' friends adopted me.
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- no I've not even been to America!  I've been to the top of Blackpool Tower though!
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - no but I will when I fulfill #12.
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked - frequently when I was young, too dangerous now!
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - I felt very guilty though.
24. Built a snow fort - no I don't like snow!
25. Held a lamb - it was butchered though, does that count?   OK, ok I know gross!
26. Gone skinny dipping - not quite skinny!
27. Run a Marathon - NO. run? me? LOL
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - it's on my to do list.
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - both in the same day!
31. Hit a home run - NO. run? me? LOL
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - Turkish
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (in general)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke - LOL
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted - not even a caricature!
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - on my to do list.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - been to the top of Blackpool Tower.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - I've been on TV and on a DVD! (Laney asked me to tell - I already did here)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - if only!
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia - not yet.
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching-porpoises
63. Got flowers for no reason - I asked him what he'd done!
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving - NO. do you think I'm mad?
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter - no too small, I don't like heights.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt - no but I've made my own clothes.
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job - I've been made redundant but that's not quite the same.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - my grandmothers biography.
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating -no if I had to do that I'd become a vegetarian!
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life- given blood
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby - two
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee - then it died, serves it right!
100. Read an entire book in one day

You don't realise just how much you HAVE done until you do this meme - try it and see!

Monday, 5 January 2009

Van Gogh's Ear?............




This is the Van Gogh's Ear Award as created by Roger of Idaho Photo  This is what he wrote about the Van Gogh's Ear Award:


"Every year I like to make up a award and hand it out to people that make a difference in the blogsphere. I like to make it a award for all to enjoy and pass out if one so wants to, I just ask if your going to give it out to link back to me as the creator of the Van Gogh's Ear Award."


Inspiration of the Van Gogh's Ear Award


"You may know the story of Vincent Van Gogh a well known artist in history. Although a brilliant painter in his later years went quite insane he received the nickname of fou roux ("the redheaded madman"). The most bazaar of Vincent's behavior is when he cut off the lower part of his own left ear lobe, which he wrapped in newspaper and gave to a prostitute named Rachel in the local brothel, asking her to "keep this object carefully. After this he suffered recurrent bouts of mental illness, which led to his suicide July 29, 1890 he was 37 years old. His works of art are priceless."

The point of this award

"We are all artist in are own way be it art, photography, writing, philosophy, comedy, blogging and we all go a little crazy sometimes. But if you ever feel so crazy to cut off your ear and give it to a prostitute 'Seek Help'!"


Always remember you're unique.

Just like everyone else.



Roger passed this award on to lots of bloggers including Storyteller (Small Reflections) who in turn passed it on to lots of other bloggers including me!  Thankyou Storyteller. x

Well I'm not as mad as Van Gogh (yet) but I may be getting there so, before I do I'd like to pass it on to the following people, trying not to duplicate those who have already received it because there's quite a lot!




Cloudia (Comfort Spiral)


Nick (Nick's Bytes)













Please feel free to pass it on to your favourite bloggers mentioning the origin and the sentiments behind it please.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And just for your amusement:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.



~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~


NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Thanks to the friend who emailed this to me.

Friday, 2 January 2009

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 57 A New Year........

A New Year


“You can’t stay in on New Year’s Eve” said Jilly

Reluctantly Abi went to the party, big mistake.


Her heart had died when she’d lost Mark, there was no point anymore.
Midnight chimed.

Abi looked up, tears blurring her vision.


“Happy New Year.

I’m sorry........... 


I love you Abi, can we start again?” said Mark.




Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.