Friday 22 April 2011

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #161 The Climb....

"It's a long way up, he said, but we need water so we have no choice."

"I'll come with you" she said.

They had almost reached the top when he tripped, managing to drag her down and banging his head quite badly.

"Where's the vinegar and brown paper Jill?" said Jack, when they got home.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.


MorningAJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MorningAJ said...

Oh I like that! You know I did something similar with Cinderella recently? I didn't do it quite so succinctly though!
Well done.

(I hope the link works this time - excuse the previous deletion.)

Anonymous said...

WOOT!!! I love this. Very well done :) You are so good at this.

Valerie said...

Yes! Brilliant, and for once I got it before the last line. I must try having more early nights!!

anthonynorth said...

An excellent retelling. Enjoyed it.

Commander Zaius said...

Great story!

Always wondered about the true nature of that relationship.

Brian Miller said...

ha. nice rewrite...darn busted crowns...

Anonymous said...

Another crowning glory from you!

Sandi McBride said...

Your ability to concentrate must be amazing! Don't know that I could consistantly come up with such nuggets of gold as these yet you come thru everytime!
longing to be there for the wedding!!!

G-Man said...

So this was a true story?
Ha! I knew it!
Loved your 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Easter!!! Galen...;-)

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

good one!

smiles, bee

Ron said...


You're cleverness astounds me!

Brava! I give you 10 big stars for this!

Have a lovely weekend, m'dear!


hope said...

Uh-huh. Trip the woman up and then blame her for their lack of goods. Maybe she doesn't know Jack. ;)

Fun one!

Linda said...

Very well done! As always of course!

Have a lovely Easter weekend enjoying your beautiful garden!

secret agent woman said...

Vinegar and brown paper?

Gledwood said...

isn't vinegar and brown paper used for cleaning a window? ... or is that newspaper?

Travis Cody said...

Great take on Jack and Jill!

Akelamalu said...

The link doesn't work AJ but I can search through your posts to find it so no worries.

Glad you enjoyed it Thom and thanks. x

You must be getting used to my writing Valerie ;)

Thankyou Anthony :)

Cheers Beach Bum, I think they were just good friends. ;)

Glad you liked it Brian

Haha like the pun and the praise Dumdad ;)

Aw thanks Sandi. I'll be watching the wedding on the TV,don't fancy the crowds in London.

Maybe based on a true story G, you never know. ;)

Thanks Bee x

So pleased you enjoyed it Ron xx

Typical man eh Hope? ;)

Hope you have a lovely weekend too Linda and thanks. x

Yeah, as in the nursery rhyme SAW?

That's newspaper Gleds LOL

Ah you got it Trav :)

Maggie May said...

This was one occasion when I GUESSED the ending. Yhay!
Happy Easter.
maggie X

Nuts in May

Dianne said...

I knew at the first line it would be Jack and Jill
with a twist of course
well done

Spiky Zora Jones said...

akelamalu: ahahahaha...hehehe. I do stuff like that without banging my head. :) I love how you tell a story.

Loved the story honey. hehehe.
Hope your Easter is starting wonderfully. HAPPY EASTER. :)

Julia Phillips Smith said...

LOL! A fresh spin - you totally had me until the vinegar and brown paper part.

Happy Easter, Akelamalu!

G-Man said...

Pearlie Mae...
Happy Easter!!!

Shanae Branham said...

Very interesting 55. I am glad I finally had the time to come over and see yours. Cheers.

Click here to check my 55 out

Charlene Amsden said...

I saw this one coming as soon as he tripped. That Jack is so clumsy!

Mimi Lenox said...

I am never ever ever able to guess what you're going to say. And THAT is what makes it brilliant.
Loved this one.
You are the Queen of 55.