Microfiction Monday #5....

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky. The rules are thus:



Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story. Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including punctuation and spaces.


Here's today's picture and my contribution.

Listen and listen good, I’ll say this only once.

If you burn my arse one more time with your fire breathing you’re going to be really sorry!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #120 Missing Person......

"Come Home Jeannie" Colin pleaded to his missing wife, on the television appeal.

"If you know where Jeannie is please ring this number."

She'd been missing for months and he hadn't heard a thing.

"It must be awful for that poor man" said Ben

"I don't know what I'd do if you disappeared."

Jeannie smiled.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Health update....

You remember in February when we got back of our Caribbean Cruise I was diagnosed with Diabetes and feeling really down?  Well last week I had to go for blood tests to see if the meds are working and the good news is that it is working very well.

In February a fasting blood test result showed my glucose level to be 6.5% and another test two hours after drinking a glucose drink showed it to be 12%!  Thankfully my HbA1c test three months later shows my glucose level is down to 5.9% which is great as the benchmark is between 6.5 and 7%.  My cholesterol has gone down from 9.7 to 3.1 which is fantastic.  My blood pressure is down to 130/80 from 150/88 and I've lost 13lb since I was diagnosed in February by eating healthily and exercising.  Actually I have lost 2stone (28lbs) since January 2009 but still need to lose at least another stone (14lbs).   All my other tests came back good - no liver, kidney, eye or nerve damage.  

I'm feeling good.



We're off to Scotland on Friday until late Monday.  I'll be publishing a 55 Flash Fiction and Microfiction Monday by the power of Blogger Scheduled Posts (so clever) and will catch up with all yours next week.  Of course I'll be taking lots of photos and will tell you all about it when I get back.

Microfiction Monday #4

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky. The rules are thus:

Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story. Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including punctuation and spaces.

Here's today's picture and my contribution.

The monks were pleased to pose for the artefact carving,




But then Father Abbot realised that one of them had finished off the communion wine.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 119 Green Fingers.....

Brenda had always loved gardening.

She loved it even more now she had her greenhouse.

She had all sorts growing in there -

Tomatoes, cucumber, courgettes, fruit and flowers of every variety.

Imagine her surprise when the police arrived

and siezed the plants she was looking after for the nice young man who lived next door!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Cloud 23.......

One of the gifts I received from my colleagues when I retired was a £40 gift voucher for drinks at Cloud 23 which is a bar on the 23rd floor of the Hilton Hotel in Manchester.   It's a quite exclusive bar that boasts a 'walk of faith' glass floor panel which enables you to see the ground below 23 floors down.

Last Friday MWM and I made the trip into Manchester by bus and tram to enjoy a late lunch at a lovely little Italian restaurant (The Bella Italia) before going on to Cloud 23 where I had booked a table for 6p.m.

MWM enjoying a glass of wine with his lunch.

We arrived at The Hilton Hotel a few minutes before 6 p.m. to find a queue of people waiting at the high speed lift to get into Cloud 23, thankfully because I had made a reservation we were able to go straight to the front of the queue and straight into the lift to the 23rd floor.  Don't you just love it when that happens?

We were shown to our table right near the window, by a hostess, where a waiter took our order for a bottle of wine.   

Me enjoying wine and the view at Cloud 23

We didn't realise for a good ten minutes that we had actually walked across the 'walk of faith' glass floor on the way to our table as it was right there next to us!  So of course we stood on it and took a photograph.

MWM taking the 'walk of faith'.

The view down through the glass 'walk of faith'

We had quite a laugh watching other people dithering over whether or not to walk on the glass and I'm sorry boys but many more men than women refused to do it!    I somehow managed to end up as 'official photographer' being handed people's mobile phones to take their picture stood on the glass floor.

We were enjoying ourselves so much we ordered another bottle of wine and then being totally greedy had a champagne cocktail each!     The drinks are very expensive and we had to put £30 towards the bill besides the £40 voucher!   Well it was my retirement 'do' in a way wasn't it?

We had great views all over Manchester  from our table like the Manchester Wheel

and we could even see as far as where we live in Heywood.

We took lots of photographs of the views of Manchester from the 23rd floor which I've put in a little slide show for you.

So, there you go, that's why I wasn't around blogland much last Friday.

Microfiction Monday # 3

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky. The rules are thus:

Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story. Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including punctuation and spaces.


Here's today's picture and my contribution.

Alice‘s preserves were popular but held a secret, which no-one would guess.




She bought them, then transferred the contents to her own jars.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #118 Trophies...

He stared at the trophies on display.

He hated them, but he didn't want to upset his hosts.

He made polite conversation, hopefully nodding in all the right places.

He' stumbled across the village somehow and now he wanted to get away as soon as possible.

He couldn't be sure whether they still practiced....

Head-shrinking!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.


I'm out on a jaunt today so I'll catch up with you all over the weekend.  Have a good one.

How Fights Start.....

I just had to share these with you so you can be on your guard.


My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...


****************************************
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes.."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....
******************************************


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."


My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....
*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.


When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office..

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started....
******************************************
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started......

Microfiction Monday #2

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky. The rules are thus:


Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story. Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including punctuation and spaces.


Here's today's picture and my contribution.

Three buddhist priests were enjoying their visit to Washington DC,

especially when one of them declared

“Hey I found a four leaf clover!”

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 117 Holding it together.....

I have to hold it all together, she thought.

They're all depending on me.

If I let go they'll fall apart.

They think I'm too weak, so I need to be strong and firm.

I have all the papers needed right here, altogether, ready for the meeting.

It's an important job being a paper clip!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Another reply.....

arrived to my letters to the Party Leaders, this is from the Liberal Democrats.   Sounds promising but then they all do.




Liberal Democrats
4 Cowley Street
London
SW1P 3NB


www.libdems.org.uk



19 April 2010


Dear Mrs


Many thanks for your letter to Nick Clegg. I'm replying to letters and emails on his behalf.


We agree with you that pensioners have had an unfair deal for too long - and the advent of mass means-testing for pensioners has had a disastrous effect on incentives to put money aside for retirement. As such, we'd restore the link between pensions and earnings immediately, so that pensioners fall no further behind the wealth of the nation. In fact, we'd raise pensions by whichever is the highest of earnings, inflation or 2.5%, so pensions begin automatically to rise relative to average income as time goes by.


This would be a first step towards a universal Citizen's Pension, set at a considerably more generous level than the present pension, which would slash means-testing and help millions of pensioners. This would benefit a great many pensioners, reducing the proportion subject to means-testing from nearly 50% to under 10% and benefiting . people who have, for whatever reason, not been able to build up a full pension record under the current system. However, it's important to be honest about the state of Britain's finances - as such, we'd only be able to do this as resources allow.


In addition, Liberal Democrats are committed to the principle of scrapping the unfair Council Tax, introduced by the Conservatives and carried on by Labour. Currently Council Tax places an excessive burden on pensioners, who end up paying a far higher proportion of their income as council tax compared to high-earners. It hits the bottom 10% of the income spectrum hardest and is not even based on property ownership ¬simply on residence. We would replace Council Tax with a fair local tax, related to ability to pay - this would help millions of people in Britain, especially pensioners.


We also think that the benefits system needs significant reform. At the moment, not enough is being done to help people who can work into work and off benefits. We need to create a simpler, fairer system that encourages people who can work to find employment, which would allow more resources to be directed to those who can't. A one-size-fits-all policy cannot and will not meet the needs of unemployed people - so we want to tailor assistance to meet their individual needs and aspirations, so that they get the support they need to get back into sustainable employment.

We've argued for a Single Working Age Benefit to replace both Jobseeker's Allowance and Incapacity Benefit. With each claimant, there would be a 'labour market disadvantage assessment' to assess their specific barriers to work -like poor health, age and local labour market conditions - so they can have a personalised programme of support and responsibilities. We'd also aim to replace JobCentre Plus with a new First Steps Agency, using the voluntary and private sectors to deliver personalised support to help people into work. A DWP report found that private and voluntary providers had a 10% higher success rate in helping the long-term unemployed into sustainable employment.


Thank you once again for writing to us.

Yours sincerely



Bess Mayhew
General Election Response Team
Liberal Democrats

I have still not received a reply to my second letter to Gordon Brown.       Neither have I received a reply from my MP (Labour) to my letter asking him for his thoughts on the first letter I sent to Gordon Brown, his Party Leader, of which I sent him a copy.    Obviously he doesn't want my vote.  I have emailed our local paper informing them of the lackadaisical attitude of our town's MP and suggested they ask him for his opinion on my concerns.  I'll let you know if anything comes of it, though by Thursday it will be too late as all the votes will be cast.

Microfiction Monday #1

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky.   The rules are thus:

Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story.   Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including punctuation and spaces.

Here's today's picture and my contribution.

“Hey Bob what do you think of your new uniform?”

“Not bad, Sir. I like the helmet, shoes and the cloak but trousers would be less draughty!

Chew your food............

is my cry to MWM everytime he eats now.   Why you may ask?    Because  last Tuesday evening not chewing a piece of steak properly landed him in hospital overnight!

The unchewed piece of steak lodged in his throat and he couldn't breathe so I belted him on his back a few times and tried the Heimlick Manoevre which unfortunately did not expel the offending object but did move it further down his gullet so at least he could breathe. 

Unfortunately this also resulted in him not being able to swallow even his own saliva and consequently he was heaving all the time.   We decided a visit to A&E was essential.   

The triage nurse ascertained that he could breathe so it wasn't an immediate emergency and we waited, along with the cut fingers, sprained ankles, bleeding heads, drunks and everything else one sees in the A& E department, for 90 minutes until a doctor called us through to the examination cubicles.   After an xray, which showed the piece of steak stuck firmly in MWM's gullet, and an injection of Buscopan to relax his stomach and gullet, we waited until 11 p.m. (it was 6.30 p.m. when we arrived at A&E) for a bed on a ward to become available.   The doctor on the ward examined MWM but said the ENT medics wouldn't do anything about his predicament until morning, so they gave him another injection of Buscopan and put him on a glucose drip so he didn't get dehydrated and told him to try to get some sleep.

The following morning MWM woke up and realised he could swallow again so they tested him with sips of water then when he was able to keep that down they gave him some cereal and a cup of tea and sent him home.

Thankfully the only after affect is that his throat is a little sore and I am constantly nagging him to chew his food.  So take heed - chew your food properly!