Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 78 Candidates

Who to choose for the job?

Such a difficult question when there are so many candidates.

How do you know who will do the best job.

Who is committed, who is honest, which one can be trusted.

But an important thing to know now is…….

Which one of the candidates will NOT fiddle their expenses!



This is the question I, and millions of others, had to face yesterday at the Polling Station for the EU elections and will be the same at the General Election when we get one!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is…….

I recently got a telephone call from a company called Club La Costa telling me I had won a seven night luxury European holiday for four, flights and accommodation paid.

“WOW” I thought, then “Yeah right”.

“Thank you, very nice” I said “what’s the catch?” being the distrusting soul that I am.

“There’s no catch the lady told me, you just have to turn up to one of our exhibitions to claim your prize and we will even give you £50 worth of high street cash vouchers for turning up! Which of these places and dates is suitable for you?” she asked rhyming off a list.

The nearest was in Manchester and one of the dates was last Friday 29th May, when it so happened we had decided to go on a little shopping expedition to Manchester as it was half term, we usually do this when I have a week off work.

“Great I’ll confirm everything in writing for you” she told me.

A few days later the letter arrived outlining everything she had told me on the phone and asking me to telephone to confirm we would be attending and which store I would like the vouchers for, which I did, requesting Marks and Spencer’s vouchers. It also said we could be assured we wouldn't have to sign up or buy anything to claim the vouchers and the holiday.

Fair enough I thought though MWM was very sceptical “It’s a time share exhibition, they’re selling timeshare” he said.

“Of course it is, but we’re not going to buy, all we have to do is sit through two hours of sales chat, say thanks but no thanks and collect the vouchers and the holiday voucher, and as we’re going to Manchester anyway why not?” He agreed.

We hopped on the bus at 9.45 a.m. and did some shopping from my list, I’m a great one for lists. We then went into Marks & Spencer where I had a look round deciding what to spend the vouchers on, MWM had kindly relinquished any right to a share of the vouchers. I found a swimsuit, a skirt and a jacket in readiness for when I returned with the vouchers, obviously they came to more than £50 but I was prepared to spend a bit more. We then went to Tiger, Tiger at the Printworks (which I can recommend), sat outside in the sunshine (they do get sun in Manchester occasionally) and had a lovely lunch with a glass of wine. I had Penne in Rich Tomato Sauce with Chargrilled Chicken and MWM had Pesto Chicken Salad which we both really enjoyed, we then strolled up Shudehill to the Crowne Plaza hotel where the exhibition was being held.

In reception we had to fill in a form confirming the details we had already given and produce our passports to prove who we were, then a very nice young man called David introduced himself and took us through to the exhibition room, after inviting us to help ourselves to coffee.  He asked if we'd ever been to one of these exhibitions before , we told him we hadn't.  "Not even when you've been on holiday?" he ventured.

"No" we said.

"How come?" he asked.

"We've always resisted, we don't want a timeshare" we told him.

"Why did you come to this?" he asked.

"Because you offered me £50 worth of M&S vouchers and a free holiday" I said, I'm always honest.


He asked what we were expecting and I told him “I expect you are going to try to sell us a timeshare apartment.”

“Wrong” he said “I’m going to give you the opportunity of a lifetime to make your holidays for the next three years cheaper!” Oooer how exciting we thought, raising our eyes to heaven.

Right, what it boiled down to was we pay them £4000 up front and they promise to act as travel agents for us. We would get the opportunity to take six holidays in the next three years, anywhere in the world where Club La Costa have luxury accommodation, and it would only cost us £150 for the accommodation for one week (not each). We then have to pay for the flights, and transfers, which they will also arrange. “All sounds very interesting” I tell him “but we don’t have £4000 lying around to invest”.

“No problem” says David “you can pay £129+ a month for the next three years!”

I laughed, MWM laughed, David didn’t. We declined.

“Why did you come if you’re not interested?” he asked “It must have cost you in time, petrol and parking” he said.

“We were coming to Manchester anyway and it cost us £4 to get here because we came on the bus, MWM has a free bus pass and I got a day saver” I explained.

He wasn't amused and knew then there was no point in going for the hard sell. He handed over two £25 Marks and Spencer vouchers and the form to book the ‘free’ holiday explaining the rules for booking the holiday which were:

Within the next two weeks we have to
(a) state which destination we want - Portugal, Costa Del Sol or Tenerife
(b) state which airport – Northwest (which could mean Manchester or Liverpool)
(c) give four dates when we can travel in the next 18 months the first one being at least 3 months hence and subsequent dates to be 8 weeks apart.
(d) Send the form and £29.50 each person administration fee.

They will then let us know if any of the dates are available and which airport we can travel from (this may or may not be the airport of our choice – i.e. we could be expected to travel from London or Glasgow or anywhere else and this would incur another charge. We then have to pay airport charges of £64+ each plus transfer charges. You get the picture – the free holiday isn’t free and I read (before we went to the exhibition) that the ruse seems to be that they get your £29.50 each, which more than covers the vouchers you’ve been given, then the charges just keep piling on so you abandon all thoughts of the holiday and can’t get your £29.50 each back!

Anyway we’ve decided to give the ‘free’ holiday a miss, preferring to spend our money on a self arranged holiday, but I spent the vouchers within half an hour of receiving them to make sure they were real – the jacket, skirt and swimsuit are lovely!

So I think that the saying “If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.”,  in this case isn’t completely true, after all I did get £50 for quite an entertaining two hours of my time, with a cup of coffee and some fizzy water thrown in.

What say you? Have you received a free holiday from Club La Costa?

65 Questions.....

you've never been asked. That's what Mimi says this meme is called.

Anyway, Mimi tagged everyone that read it and when Mimi tags you, you do it. So here goes.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair


2. What color is your favorite hoodie? It takes me ages to get my hair right, why would I want to put a hood on it????


4. Do you plan outfits?  Like a military campaign.


5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?   Relaxed, as I've just spent two hours reading a book in the sunshine in my garden.


6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?  The cropped trousers I'm wearing.


7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?    I had a really strange dream in the early hours ofthis morning, it was all about me retiring from work.  I plan to retire in December so it must be on my mind.


8. Did you meet anybody new today? No not today, I've not been anywhere to meet anyone, I've only been in my garden.


9. What are you craving right now?  A nice cup of tea, I'm going to make eyes at MWM in hope he'll make me one!


10. Do you floss?    Of course doesn't everyone?


11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?   The smell!!


12. Are you emotional?  Yes, I can cry at the drop of a hat!


13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?   No I got fed up when I got to 100.


14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Oh lick it definitely, it lasts longer.


15. Do you like your hair?   At the moment yes, but tomorrow maybe not.


16. Do you like yourself?    Yes I'm happy with myself.


17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?    Why not, if he was paying.


18. What are you listening to right now?   I'm watching Celebrity Mr & Mrs on television.


19. Are your parents strict?  Yes they were strict but never so much that I felt the need to rebel (well not too much )

20. Would you go sky diving?    Do you think I'm stark staring raving mad?????


21. Do you like cottage cheese? I love cottage cheese with chives.  I have it at least twice a week on salad for my lunch.


22. Have you ever met a celebrity?   Yes when MWM and I appeared on The Generation Game on BBC TV in 1981


23. Do you rent movies often? No we watch them on sky or people lend them to us.


24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?     Yes the crystals I have hanging in the window.


25. How many countries have you visited?  14 countries roughly but many different islands and resorts.


26. Have you made a prank phone call?    No, I couldn't disguise my voice.


27. Ever been on a train? We go on train trips all the time just for fun.

28. Brown or white eggs?  Depends on what colour my son's hens lay - they're my favourites 


29. Do you have a cell-phone? Yes - I text a lot.


30. Do you use chap stick?   Yes, otherwise my lips dry out rapidly and I have to keep them kissable for MWM

 31. Do you own a gun? Absolutely not, it's illegal here anyway.


32. Can you use chopsticks? Yes, I always use chopsticks when we go to a Chinese restaurant.


33.Who are you going to be with tonight?  MyWonderfulMan

 34. Are you too forgiving?  I can be but I never forget.


35. Ever been in love?  I am in love.

 36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? She has the week off work and will be looking after her grandson tomorrow.


65. Have you ever crawled through a window?   No I don't do crawling, through anything.


If you were reading this thinking I'm not doing this it would take too long, you have now had a pleasant surprise because there's not 65 questions,  so go on have a go if you've nothing better to do, I'm not tagging anyone it's up to you.

Saturday Wordzzle # 65

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts, complete with my doodles.

This week's ten word challenge is: parasite, meals on wheels, crows, it's my fault, everything but the kitchen sink, on sale, patriotism, the love of my life, library card, common sense

Patricia enjoyed working for the meals on wheels service, she got to meet some lovely old people, full of patriotism and common sense. Patricia’s dedication didn’t stop at delivering meals, she was entrusted with their library cards and chose their books, she also did shopping for them and more often than not they wanted everything but the kitchen sink, but “It’s my fault” she told her friends, “I’m too accommodating.” She was very careful with their money getting items which were on sale or special offer and they said they appreciated it.

When Jack moved into the sheltered accommodation where she delivered meals, she couldn’t believe he was 70, he looked so much younger. Patricia was sixty but the ten years age difference meant nothing, she and Jack got along like a house on fire. Patricia never thought she would ever meet anyone she would be remotely interested in romantically after John her husband, the man she called ‘the love of my life’, had died. Now here she was with feelings for Jack that were definitely more than just friendly, it wasn’t long before romance blossomed.

Patricia was over the moon when Jack asked her to marry him and said ‘Yes’ without hesitation. Of course the other residents had their opinions on the romance calling her things like ‘parasite’ and accused her of ‘taking advantage of an old man’. Patricia was upset at first but Jack told her to ignore them.

“You’re right Jack, they’re nosey old crows” she said “sod ‘em!”

Jack moved into Patricia’s house and she gave up the job she’d adored, until the people she’d dedicated her time to had turned against her for daring to find love again.

And for the mini: blackmail, California, stethoscope, postage, crank

The letter arrived without a postage stamp to Liam’s house in California Avenue. He didn’t recognise the handwriting and was a little wary since he won the lottery, as he’d had lots of crank letters. Picking up a stethoscope he’d bought specifically for the purpose, he placed the round part onto the envelope to listen for ticking. No ticking, no bomb, he thought. Opening the envelope he was surprised by it’s content.

gIvE uS £1,000,000 oR wE tElL tHe pApErS
aBoUt yOuR wIfeS pOrN mOvIe

A blackmail letter! What the hell?

“Idiot, I don’t have a wife!” said Liam and promptly threw the letter onto the fire.

Megawordzzle

Babs and Tom had met when they were both taking a gap year from university and were backpacking round California. They had returned to England and completed their respective degrees and were now in their fourth year of marriage, living in a rented semi-detached in Manchester.

Tom had just been made redundant and was desperately trying to get Babs to agree to emigrate. He painted a wonderful picture of using his redundancy payoff to buy a little bar in Spain for them to run, living the high life in a country where the sun shone almost every day.

“How much better would that be rather than this incessant rain?” he pleaded.

Tom put forward a great argument - neither of them had any feelings of patriotism and they had no close family here now, so there was nothing to stop them. They didn’t want to grow old and end up relying on meals on wheels without having taken any chancesn in life. Everything was so much more relaxed in Spain, their friend Tina and Mike were making a packet with their bar, Tom went on and on about all the reasons for them emigrating, how old people here were almost considered parasites unless they were rich and it was unlikely they would ever be, unless they won the lottery. By the time he’d finished it was almost tantamount to blackmail, so Babs , feeling she would be letting Tom down if she didn’t agree ripped up her library card and throwing common sense to the wind said

“Tom, you’re the love of my life, blow in my ear and I’ll follow you anywhere!”

Decision made, they were selling up and moving to Spain. They bought two cheap return air tickets and went to stay with Tina and Mike while they looked at suitable businesses. It wasn’t long before they found just what they were looking for.

“OK the bar might only be the size of a postage stamp but it will get us started” Tom assured Babs.

Everything signed and sealed they returned to England and decided to have a yard sale to get rid of all their belongings, to make some more money to take with them. They splashed out and put an advert in the local paper and on the appointed day (which thankfully wasn’t a rainy one) they piled everything they owned on the front lawn. Tom stood on a box shouting

“Everything is on sale, well everything but the kitchen sink that is.”

“Tom you’ll have to crank up the volume, they will need a stethoscope to hear your sales patter at this rate, here use this megaphone” said Babs.

The crowds descended on the garden like crows round a carcass and within two hours they’d sold everything, pocketing quite a tidy sum for their Spanish fund.

The next day, after spending the night in a cheap hotel, Tom and Babs arrived at the airport to start their new life abroad. At the check in desk Tom handed over their tickets and passports and was mortified when the clerk said

“I’m sorry sir but your passport has expired!”

“Oh, shit, it’s my fault” cried Babs “I forgot to check them!”

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 77 Secret Lover

No-one knew about Mandy, he didn't want them to.

She was his secret lover, never to be shared.

Beautiful, uncomplaining, accommodating, she was just perfect.

He'd met her whilst pouring over a catalogue in the sex shop.

It was love at first sight.

Mandy may be a blow-up doll, but she's all mine he thought!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

I'm out on a jaunt today so I'll catch up with you all over the weekend - have a good one!  

Great News.....

Some of you may remember or have noticed on my sidebar references to me having published my Dad's book 'KIT - A Biography Of My Mother' on LULU.com in 2007.

I've just had an email from LULU saying:

Dear Lulu Author,
Congratulations, your book has been selected for listing on Amazon.com's Marketplace! As a result, your book will now be easily found on the world's largest online bookseller.

I am over the moon.

My only intention in getting it published was to keep my promise to my Dad to get his book published, so that he could keep his promise to his Mother to tell the story of her life so that 'in a hundred years people will know that KIT lived!'.

You can read about how I went about it here and here. I first set up a webpage and published it there but I really wanted my Dad to see it in print hence my publishing it through LULU.

You can buy it here from Amazon.com, if you're interested, though it is cheaper to buy it straight from LULU.com. here. I don't make any profit from sales of the book, my only intention was for as many people as possible to read about my remarkable grandmother.

I'm not touting for sales, if you just want to read without buying please feel free and look on my webpage here, I'm just so pleased that it will be available to a wider audience. If you read it on the webpage please leave a comment, I'd love to know what you think.

Unimportant meme.....

Thom (Thoms Place 4 Well Whatever) tagged me for this meme.

Here is how it works. I mention the person who tagged me, which happened above, list 6 unimportant things that make me happy, to follow, and after that tag 6 more bloggers. So without further ado:

6 unimportant things that make me happy:

1. Gardening, when I have time.

2. Shopping.

3. Looking through old photographs.

4. A good hair day.

5. Listening to music.

6. Watching my favourite TV programmes.

Now I have to tag six other bloggers,so step up if you want to do it:

Ron (Vent)

Julia (A Piece Of My Mind)

Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress)

Pam (Finding Pam)

Marmie (Twaddle Everyday Rubbish)

Linda (Are We There Yet?)

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD PEOPLE.......

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested,

'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens

Saturday Wordzzle # 64

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.


Here's my efforts, complete with my doodles.


This Week's Ten Word Challenge is: albino, trench, marble, assistant, Indian, What's that supposed to mean?, sound first principles, the key thing, moat, curtain


“Pull up the drawbridge and let the crocodiles into the moat” said the Indian Swami.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked his albino assistant Marble.

“Lock the door and prepare for battle if anyone tries to get in while we’re testing the new trick” he replied.

Closing the curtain on the cabinet, which was positioned over a trench into which Swami would disappear, Marble asked “Are you sure you know what you’re doing Swami?”

“Of course I do, I have sound first principles and the key thing is to say the magic words in the right order” Swami replied.

Marble stood back and listened to Swami bellowing out the incantation, then all was quiet. Pulling the curtain back Marble was amazed to see a frog where Swami had previously stood.

“Hey, it worked Swami” cried Marble. “Swami, it worked you can come out now, Swami, Swami.”

“Riddip, riddip, riddip” was the reply.




The mini challenge: under the surface, doomed, grand design, temple, aspirin

Martin thought his grand design for the temple was doomed when he saw the other entries to the competition. He popped the aspirin in his mouth and took and gulp of water. He appeared confident but under the surface he was paddling like a duck as he started his presentation.


Megawordzzle

Trench McIver was not what he seemed. Most people thought he was a member of the Scottish upper classes but in fact he was an albino Indian brought up in the Gorbals who had gone to University to study ancient history and made a name for himself as an explorer.

McIver had discovered many ancient scripts and artefacts but there was one thing he desperately wanted to find, he had seen mention of a treatment that could reverse albinism and his quest was to find it.

McIver had spent twenty years searching for the recipe for the treatment and had recently come across a clue as to where he might find it. He booked a flight to Borneo.

The temple where he hoped he would find the recipe had been discovered only five years earlier in the deepest part of the jungles of Borneo. He had been given contact details for a guide, who had been with the explorer who had discovered the temple, so he was confident he would be able to get to it.

After two days trekking they eventually came to the temple, it was of a grand design with a moat. Trying not to think about what could be under the surface of the moat he crossed the bridge into the temple.

The recipe was carved on one of the walls of the temple, in a room which had apparently been something like a pharmacy in it’s time. He had no problem finding it and reading the recipe he thought it had sound first principles but then, apparently, the key thing in it was ground marble and bark from some tree or other. He wasn’t feeling too confident when he read that. Desperation spurred McIver on. With the help of his guide he found the ingredients needed and packed them carefully into his backpack and within four days he was back at his office.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” asked his assistant, as McIver mixed the ingredients together into a mud coloured liquid.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked McIver.

“You’re unique McIver, why would you want to be just ordinary?” he replied. “If it works you’ll look just like every other Indian.”

McIver had never thought of it that way but he had searched for so long he wasn’t going to back out now. He pulled a curtain across the doubts in his mind and downed the concoction.


Within minutes he began sweating and could feel his pulse pounding in his head, he was scared but if it worked he would be the happiest man alive. He wouldn’t let himself think that he may be doomed not just to failure but possible death!

His assistant stood watching him, ready to ring for an ambulance should the worst happen. Five minutes later McIver asked “Well do I look any different?”

“No, I’m afraid not boss” said his assistant

“I may as well have just taken an aspirin for all the good that’s done, what a waste of time!” muttered McIver.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 76 Torture

He was being tortured.

 

He sniffed as cooking smells drifted tantalizingly around his nostrils.

He'd been in this room now for three hours.

He'd not been allowed food or drink.

He'd had no breakfast and he was starving now.

He looked at the clock, another thirty minutes

to the end of the exam and lunchtime.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

What's the point?........

Someone sent me this so I thought I'd share.

What's the Point?
A list of ten things the world could do without.


1. Male Nipples
Beating off stiff competition from underarm hair and wisdom teeth, male nipples sit proudly at the top of our most useless body parts list. We know why men have nipples (find out here), but that doesn’t negate the fact that they serve no practical purpose—they do not, ordinarily, produce milk.

2. Unicycle
As its name suggests, a unicycle is similar to a bicycle but it only has one wheel. The effects of removing a wheel are all negative. Balancing on a unicycle requires much more effort and leads to a much greater likelihood of falling off. Taking away a wheel is also much slower. The maximum speed reached on a unicycle is approximately 35 km/h (22 mph), while Chris Hoy (pictured above) has reached speeds of 70 km/h (40 mph) on his bicycle.

3. Spam
The chances of someone responding to spam is approximately one in 12.5 million. It may be extremely cheap to market a product by sending out junk e-mails, but surely such an enormous failure rate should deter even the most persistent person... Please?

4. Denton railway station
As dead as a station in the Australian outback, the unstaffed railway station in Denton, Manchester has got to be Britain’s most redundant railway stop. One train per week stops at Denton on Saturday mornings. But be warned: Denton is a request stop, so it may be necessary to flag the train down using your arms. To make matters worse, there are no return tickets to Denton—the weekly service runs only in one direction. You can leave, but you won’t be coming back again in a hurry.

5. Four-poster beds
Bedrooms are a relatively modern concept: before the eighteenth century, beds simply stood in the living room, being used as couches by day. Four-poster beds were by-products of this dual function, for they allowed curtains to hang around the bed during the night to keep out draughts and to offer privacy.Needless to say, 21st-century houses come equipped with both bedrooms and insulation, making the four-post element of these beds redundant. Yet they remain popular, with almost all furniture shops offering various forms of curtained, elaborate and ornate four-poster beds.

6. Capital letters
We all know that capital letters indicate the start of each sentence. But why do we need to mark the start of a sentence when the humble full stop has already marked the end? The limited use of capital letters in text speak or in casual emails indicates that capitals are a superfluity to the language, rather than a necessity. In fact, the majority of writing systems—including Georgian, Arabic, Hebrew and Chinese—do not have an upper and lower case system.

7. All the varieties of pasta shapes
Various shapes of pasta have different flavours, textures, cooking times, and each must be used in the appropriate context. Obviously, it’s important to get the right pasta for the right sauce. After all, lasagne wouldn’t be lasagne if it weren’t for those thin layers of baked pasta nestled between the sauce and cheese.However, is there really any point to lasagnette (a narrower version of lasagne) or lasagnotte (a longer version of lasagna)? Or does the average person really care whether they’re eating penne rigate (penne with ridged sides), penne lisce (penne with smooth sides), penne zita (penne with a slightly wider hole), or pennette (penne that is slightly shorter and thinner)? I would hazard a guess at no.

8. The word inflammable
The in- prefix of inflammable means ‘into’, rather than ‘not’, leaving us with two words—flammable and inflammable—with exactly the same meaning. But not only is the word inflammable needless, it is also dangerous. When labelling commercial and industrial products, ‘flammable’ is considered to be the safer choice because of the potentially disastrous consequences of misinterpreting ‘inflammable’. To add to the confusion, the word most frequently used to convey the opposite meaning to flammable is nonflammable, but noninflammable also exists.

9. The SysRq key on your keyboard
The system request key (SysRq), which now shares its place with the Print Screen button, has sat on the top row of keyboards since the very first PCs were made. Way back then, it was included on the keyboard in case anyone wanted to reach the main operating system without interrupting the running software. Nobody ever did. It is a redundant fixture, serving no purpose in Windows or any other operating system.

10. Ties
Ties once served a sociological purpose: archaeological evidence in China suggests that the ancient elite hung fabric around their necks as a means of marking their elevated status. But now that mankind has invented other ways of exhibiting wealth—the Ferrari parked in the driveway, or the penthouse in Park Lane—ties no longer serve such a function. So dangling coloured material from around the neck does what, exactly?
The pointlessness of the tie is perhaps beaten only by that sixteenth-century folly: the neck ruff. At their most extreme, starched ruffs could reach a foot or more in diameter and had to be propped by specially made wires. Fortunately, they fell out of fashion as quickly as they entered it.

Are there any more things you think 'what's the point' of?

Portrait Of Words #9 .......

Jeff (A Word in Edgewise POW) has started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge". Do pop over to Jeff's to read the other entries, you won't be disappointed. You can get the portraits for this month's challenge here.

Jeff says the rules this month are:
Same general idea as the other months, but with a slight variation this time. Instead of me dictating specific categories for each photograph, I'm going to display five pictures with the following guidelines:You may use all of the photos if you like, but please choose at least three of them to incorporate into your story. Your story can be factual or a work of fiction. It can be told in first or third person. Your story can be of any length or style. Long or short, comedy or tragedy, etc. . . it's up to you. The most important thing to remember is this: It's supposed to be a fun experience for everyone, and viewed simply as a writing exercise designed to stimulate creativity and camaraderie between fellow Bloggers. Make it enjoyable and let your creativity be your guide.

Hope you enjoy my story:

Adrian Logan picked up his luggage, consisting of a holdall, off the carousel at San Francisco Airport. Heading towards the Avis desk to pick up his hire car he looked around noticing how much it had changed since he’d last been here thirty years ago. He could hardly believe he’d been away so long.

Carrying the holdall he made his way through the airport to find his hire car, a VW Beetle. He could have easily afforded a bigger, flashier car but he had particularly asked for a Beetle. Climbing in the Beetle he familiarised himself once again with the controls then headed towards the Golden Gate Bridge and on to Marin County and Sleepy Hollow.

The traffic was manic over the bridge, though it didn’t bother him much, he was happy to take in the views of San Francisco Bay. He’d missed it.

Finding himself on Sir Francis Drake Blvd he realised he was only about five minutes from Butterfield Road, Sleepy Hollow’s main street.

Since he left, thirty years ago, he had been working all over the world in his chosen field of computers. He was successful, at least in his working life, but his love life had left a lot to be desired. He’d never married or had children, he’d been too busy making money. Now he was returning to the stomping ground of his youth, the place where the flower children had ruled, where LOVE had been the buzz word, where no-one thought they would ever grow old. The place where he’d spent his days in his uncle’s vineyard and his nights enjoying the golden liquid the grapes yielded. Now he owned the largest vineyard in the area, having been left it by his uncle, and he had given up computers and travelling, he just wanted to go back to the land and enjoy his remaining years where he’d been happiest, hopefully with the friends he’d left behind.

His departure from Sleepy Hollow had been swift. His uncle had brought him up when his parents had died in a road accident and then, when he was 21, told him he must make his own way in the world. He bought him a plane ticket to New York and gave him some money and a contact there, someone who would help him get started. Adrian hadn’t wanted to go but his uncle didn’t give him a choice. Saying goodbye to his friends had been hard but he told them he’d be back. He kept in touch with some but others had fallen by the wayside. Now he was back, he’d done some research and found that some of his old friends were still living in Sleepy Hollow and he intended to do some catching up.

A couple of days later, after settling into the house his uncle had also left him, he took out the list of names and numbers he’d brought with him and picked up the telephone. Within an hour he’d contacted half a dozen of his friends and arranged a reunion at the country club – “wear all your old gear if you’ve still got it” he told them.

He took a shower then went into the bedroom where he opened the holdall took out a pair of flared jeans, a multicoloured jacket, bandana and matching hat, and a pair of sunglasses and put them on. Gazing in the mirror he mused he didn’t look much older than when he’d left and his waistline hadn’t expanded that much, the jeans still fastened.

There was much backslapping and questions all round at the reunion. Lots of “do you remember whens” and “whatever happened tos”.

“Is Francesca still living here?” he asked Bernie, his oldest friend.

“She sure is Ade, she actually works here at the Country Club” Bernie told him “I’ll go get her.”

Within minutes Bernie was leading Francesca by the hand to Adrian’s side and they were sitting reminiscing like it was just yesterday.

“Remember the old Beetle I had?” he asked Francesca.

“How could I forget?” she said, blushing slightly. “Why didn’t you say goodbye Adrian? I came to meet you and you’d gone, no-one could, or would, tell me where.”

“I couldn’t bear to say goodbye to you Frannie, I didn’t want to leave you but I had no choice” he pleaded “can we start again? I never stopped loving you!”

“I’m happily married now Adrian so there’s no way for us to be together. I’m sorry it’s too late.”

“I understand Frannie, I hope we can still be friends though?” he asked.

“We can be more than that Adrian, we have something very much in common, it’s time you met your daughter. I was going to tell you the night you left but I didn’t get a chance. You also have a grandson.”

Photocredits
Guy in the hat - lovestruck

GG Bridge - pave_m

Grapes - iam_photography

VW Beetle - marie-11