Friday 55 Flash Fiction #7 Bad Time

Bad Time

“I’ll be happy when it’s over” she told him.

“Nothing but trouble, upset and strife.”

“What did we do to deserve such a bad time?”

“Never mind, things will probably get better,

I have to go now”

said Old Father Time as he walked away, leaving her with a brand New Year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And auld lang syne?


CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,

For auld lang syne,

We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,

For auld lang syne!


And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,

And surely I'll be mine,

And we'll tak a cup o kindness yet,

For auld lang syne!


We twa hae run about the braes,

And pou'd the gowans fine,

But we've wander'd monie a weary fit,

Sin auld lang syne.


We twa hae paidl'd in the burn

Frae morning sun till dine,

But seas between us braid hae roar'd

Sin auld lang syne.

And there's a hand my trusty fiere,

And gie's a hand o thine,

And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught,

For auld lang syne

Being British.....

Someone sent me the following recently and I just had to share it because it's SOOOOOOO true!

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry, a Turkish kebab or a Chinese take-away on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain .. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ... would the Government make it a crime to sell bananas by the pound while the Prime Minister announces the birth weight of his son as 6lb 12oz.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION

... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

... 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

... 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

... 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

... 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

... British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

... 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

... 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

... A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A & E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

... 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

FLY THE FLAG!

Peace at Christmas......

Mimi (Mimi Writes) invited all Peace Globe Bloggers to post a Peace Globe today - Here's mine

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Julia (A Piece of My Mind) awarded me this Spirit of Christmas award. According to Santa's Community Blog, where this originated, "this award is for those who talk about and show the spirit of Christmas in their blogs.

This is what she said about me and she's not wrong I am a Christmas freak!



Akelamalu posted her childhood Christmas memories on November 19th. Already in Christmas mode like a true Christmas Freak. Just have a look at her sidebar decorations if you don't believe me. She also held two Christmas Carol Quizzes which I missed because of everything going on with my gram. But being the stop-and-smell-the-roses person, I fret not over it. I just enjoyed seeing the answers and realized I would have been stumped!

Now I am supposed to pass it on to five other bloggers now but it's difficult to choose, so, I award it to whichever of the first five people who comment on this post have some sort of Christmas decoration on their blog.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU FROM

OUR HARRY

AND ALL THE AKELAMALU FAMILY

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #6 Christmas Cheer

Christmas Cheer

“I thought I’d make mince pies and Christmas cake” said Mother

“You know I don’t like all that stuff” Father complained “It’s stodgy and I need to lose weight."

"I’ll have fruit instead.”

“Don’t be such an old misery, it’s traditional at this time of year ,

Anyway, you’re Father Christmas, you’re supposed to enjoy it.”

Two questions, one answer.......

David’s (Authorblog) question this week is actually two:

• If you got the chance to go back to your childhood, whom would you like to say thank you to?
  
• When did you last write or receive a love letter?

If you would like to join in here’s what David would like you to do: Please answer today's question on your own blog, any time until next weekend. Just link to this blog (or to this post) so I can follow the progress of the discussion.


If I could go back to my childhood I would like to thank the person who has been the biggest influence in my life - my Dad. Luckily he is still with us, so I get to thank him without going back to my youth!

I do wish though that I had paid more attention, when I was a teenager, to what he told me, instead of thinking I knew everything – like teenagers do. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. My Dad is the wisest person I know, and a man totally in touch with his feminine side, which in my book is so important.

When I was being bullied at school my Dad didn’t teach me to hit back, he taught me to be able to laugh at myself. If people are making fun of you, he explained, laugh with them - if they see you laughing at yourself they will stop tormenting you because the object of the exercise is to make you cry and if you’re not crying it’s fruitless! He taught me integrity and honesty. I once told him I knew someone at school had cheated in a test and got really good marks, he explained that they had only cheated themselves because if they didn’t know the answers the good marks meant nothing.

Dad taught me to always try my best at everything, no-one can expect more than your best, he told me, your best will always be good enough. He also taught me the joy of giving, the warm feeling you get by helping someone with whatever you are able to give – it doesn’t have to be money, your time is the greatest gift you can give.

Dad taught me to be compassionate and caring, to think of others, to make sacrifices. I am known as ‘Mrs Do As You Would Be Done By’, a philosophy my Dad instilled in me from an early age. Before you do anything think ‘how would I feel if someone did that to me’, if you wouldn’t like it then don’t do it, he insisted. He taught me that children are precious, to be nurtured and cherished, educated not only in facts but in emotions.

The most important thing my Dad taught me was unconditional love. A love so true and pure that it can lift you to heights some people can only dream of.

So my darling Dad – I thank you with all my heart for the lessons you taught me and for being the greatest Dad that anyone could wish for.

I Love You.
xxxx




Today was the last time I wrote a love letter.

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UPDATE ON MY DAD

Dad's doing fantastically well. Although officially he is supposed to use both crutches all the time for six weeks he's getting about on one and sometimes even none around the house! He's walked down to the local tram and gone to a neighbouring town playing bridge, he's even been on the bus! He's upbeat and eating well now (thank goodness, his eating has been a realy worry!). He's looking forward to spring to get out into his beloved garden and planning exactly which bits he's going to dig up. The new hip has given Dad a new lease of life. :)

A New Drug.....

As the season of excess is almost upon us you may be interested in this new drug.

• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
• Do you suffer from shyness?
• Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may be a major factor in getting your a** se kicked.

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

Christmas Carols Quiz Part 2 Answers.....

For all those who took part here's the answers.

1. I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas

2. In The Bleak Midwinter

3. Angels From The Realms Of Glory

4. Ding Dong Merrily On High

5. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

6. He's The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot

7. Unto Us A Boy Is Born

8. We Three Kings Of Orient Are

9. Little Donkey, Little Donkey Had A Busy Day

10. A Long Time Ago In Bethlehem

Well, how did you do?

Here's those who got some right, those with most right first.

Jo Beaufoix (This is Jo Beaufoix.com)
Storyteller (Small Reflections)

Elena Jane (What She Said Too)


So you three lovely ladies can claim this badge for your blog and well done because yours were the only entries I received.

What happened to you all? Was it too hard? Were you all busy shopping?

I 'll maybe leave Part 3 until next Christmas, give you a rest.

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Can anyone tell my why Blogger won't let me change the time on my posts?

Everytime I try it I get a message saying "illegal post time (format is: hh:mm)". I put in say 08.00 and get that message! What's that all about? Anyone? Help!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #5 The New Recruit

The new recruit

I’m here about the job

We need a team player, who’s strong and can run.

You don’t have a problem with heights and have a good sense of direction?

You know the work’s seasonal?
This is our busiest time of the year.

“Ok you can start on December 24th “said Rudolph to the new reindeer.

Crazy....

I've been tagged for the Crazy Eight Meme by Jo Beaufoix, so here we go


8 things I want to do before I die:
1. Go on an African Safari.

2. Reach my ideal weight and stay there!

3. Go to the Gold Coast, Australia. I’ve been to Sidney but didn’t have the time to go further north.

4. See the pyramids. I’ve been to Egypt but not to Cairo because there was too much else to see.

5. Go scuba diving.

6. Swim with dolphins but in the wild, not one of those places where it’s all staged

7. Win the lottery!

8. Travel the world.



8 things I say often
1. “I love you”

2. “Crikey”

3. “Sh*t” - sorry :(

4. “Ooops”

5. “I can’t remember.”

6. “How are you?”

7. “Okey Dokey”

8. “Open another bottle of wine!”

8 Books I’ve read recently (or am still reading):

1. Sharon Osborne’s biography – Sue Crawford
   
2. My Grandmother’s Biography - My Dad
   
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling
   
4. The General’s Daughter – Nelson De Mille
   
5. The Sound of Laughter - Peter Kay
   
6. So Me - Graham Norton
   
7. Indelible - Karin Slaughter
   
8. The Sleeping Doll - Jeffrey Deaver

8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over

1. White Christmas – Bing Crosby

2. Amy Winehouse – Valerie

3. Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison

4. No More Cloudy Days – The Eagles

5. Chains – Tina Arena

6. Imagine – John Lennon

7. The World And You Tonight – Simply Red

8. This Old Heart of Mine – Isley Brothers

8 Things that Attract Me to My Best Friends:

1. They make me laugh.

2. They like to have fun.

3. They’re caring.

4. They’re kind.

5. They listen.

6. They ask me for advice and don’t get offended if they don’t like it.

7. They still like me when I do daft/stupid things.

8. They don’t criticize me.

8 People I Think Should Do Crazy Eights:

The first eight people who read this post - are you game?

The Fairy.....

click to enlarge

Here's my Christmas tree. It's an artificial tree, packed away every year before the 6th January and relegated to the loft for another year until Christmas comes around again. We used to have a real tree but no matter how many times we hoovered the carpet we couldn't get rid of the pine needles so we bought the fake one.

I remember our first Christmas in our own home I was so looking forward to choosing our very own tree and the decorations for it. We didn't have much money so the decorations were mostly home made garlands, some cheap baubles and a little fairy sitting on the top. The Fairy was actually a little doll with a cherub face, gold cardboard skirt and wings and a gold tinsel halo. She was a pretty little thing and enjoyed surveying our home from her vantage point as our family enjoyed the festivities. She saw our children grow up and saw us grow old. As the years went by we collected new baubles and tinsel but the fairy remained the same. Every year she came out of her box still looking just as pretty, never ageing, taking her rightful place on top of the tree.


The year arrived when it was time to change. We bought the new 6ft artificial tree, new lights, expensive baubles and beads, so we needed a figurehead for the top of the tree - we found The Angel. The Angel is a beautiful lady with white feather wings, pretty white and gold dress and an ermine edged cape with a hood. How could you make the poor Fairy redundant after all those years of loyal service I hear you say. Ah well, she was getting on in years and we decided it was time for her to retire, I must say I felt guilty, but the The Angel is doing a wonderful job.


What sort of tree do you have? Are your tree decorations old or new and do any of your decorations have sentimental value?

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Remember if you want to enter the Christmas Carols Quiz Part 2 Email your answers to me by Friday 14th December.

Why is it?.....

In everyday life why is it

• you have just enough time in a morning to do what you have to do when you get up at your usual time, but if you get up 10 minutes later you still manage to do everything? Why not get up 10 minutes later every day?
  
  
• as soon as one thing goes wrong others follow?
  
  
• toothache stops as soon as you get to the dentist?
  
  
• when you’re looking for new shoes or a dress you can never find what you want, but when you’re not looking and you’ve got no money you can find the perfect thing?
  
  
• you can’t do a thing with your hair until the day you’re going to get it cut?
  
  
• when you’re trying to hide a present the person it’s for always walks in?
  
  
• it’s a nicer feeling when the hairdresser washes your hair than when you do it yourself?
  
  
• food always tastes better when it’s cooked for you?
  
  
• when you get back off holiday you just want a bacon buttie and a cup of tea?
  
  
• the item of clothing you most want to wear when you’re in a rush to get out is always in the ironing bag?
  
  
• whenever you’re trying out a new recipe the supermarket doesn’t have that essential ingredient?
  
  
• your nails can be beautiful but as soon as you’re going somewhere special one of them breaks?
  
  
• you can never find that ‘item’ you put away in a safe place?
  
  
• there are more questions than answers?

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Remember if you want to enter the Christmas Carols Quiz Part 2
Email your answers to me by Friday 14th December.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #4 Feed Me

Feed Me

I’m getting fatter, she thought

He keeps feeding us even though we’re not hungry.

He obviously loves us, he looks after us all so well.

Anyway the other girls eat everything he puts in front of them.

They’re all fat.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, how much longer is it to Christmas I wonder? thought the turkey.

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Remember if you want to enter the Christmas Carols Quiz Part 2

Email your answers to me by Friday 14th December.