Second Time....

I have been awarded a second Thinking Blogger Award by Around My Kitchen Table - how nice of her is that?

I'm chuffed to little mint balls that anyone at all reads my drivel, let alone thinks it's worthy of an award, so I thank you very much and I will display it with pride.

I now have to choose 5 more recipients. People who's blogs make me think. This is difficult because I visit so many blogs and enjoy them all so much, so please don't be offended if I don't choose you, it's not because I don't like you, honest injun! I have tried to choose blogs who haven't already received the award but if you already have it I hope you will accept another one.
So here are my five choices...

Linda at Are We There Yet - Linda quite often ends her posts with a question - hence making me think.

Lettie at Lettuce-Eating - writes such 'from the heart' missives, you become really involved in what she is writing about.

Nea at The Southern View - writes about her life, her family, her surroundings - a joy to read.


Mike at Mike's Homefront - a recently discovered treasure. I love his writing and he has galvanised some of us bloggers into action with his new venture The Experiment (though it's not quite up and running yet). However, I will be honest here and say another reason I nominate him is because he has (unrequested) advertised my Grandmother's Biography on his blog and one good turn deserves another in my book. Thank you Mike. x

Last but not least, this may be breaking the rules a little bit but I'm going to do it nevertheless, by nominating two of Ruth's Blogs. Firstly There Are a Million Stories in the Naked City because it has made me really appreciate my life, what I have and what I have to lose, and was the first of Ruth's blogs I visited. Since then I have been introduced to Me, My Life, My Garden , which is not, as you might imagine, just photographs of Ruth's garden, it is so much more and a delight to read.

**********************

So there are my five choices, I hope you will all take a look at them and agree with me that they deserve the Thinking Blogger Award and I hope they will take part and display their award with pride.

To the Nominees.....

Should you choose to participate, please make sure to pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.

The participation rules are simple:

If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.

Link to the original post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme

Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.

A Brief History of the World. Part One....

By Richard Lederer, St. Paul's School, London. Printed in Spring 1987, Verbatim, The Language Quarterly, Vol XIII, No 4J. He says "One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. He has pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level."


The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elswhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irrigation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The bible is full of interesting cacicatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Even were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at player the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. a myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appears in the Illiad, by Homer. Home also wrote the Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbours were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered beacause the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a crual tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Calamity......

We had the worse calamity yesterday - THE DISHWASHER BROKE!!!!

MWM is in charge of the dishwasher (or washing up now), and he is very upset I can tell you. I'm very good because I always put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher but MWM is the one who puts the powder, rinse aid etc in it and turns it on, he also empties it, so it's his baby! Imagine his little face after lunch yesterday when he'd checked I hadn't put my dishes and cups in the wrong slots ( I do sometimes), shuffled everything about so it fitted perfectly, lovingly filled the well with powder and pressed the switch only to find nothing happened.

Akela, Akela he shouted the dishwasher's not working! Perhaps it's the fuse I venture, trying to be sarcastic helpful. "I'll check it" he says. No not the fuse. All the kitchen appliances are integrated so he can't get it out to check for loose wires and things. I'll ring Whirlpool (the makers) I say. "NO, they'll charge the earth" he cries, "have a look in the local paper for a dishwasher engineer". I find one and ring.

"Ah, it's integrated you say, that means it will take me a lot longer to fix it, unless you can get it out before I arrive?" the engineer says. I pass the phone to MWM and two minutes later he tells me "Have a look in yellow pages I don't know how to get the bloody thing out!"

"I'll telephone the kitchen fitters and ask them if they can recommend anyone" I suggest. The kitchen fitters suggest my first suggestion "Ring Whirlpool, they're the best people to fix it".

MWM relents, "OK ring them but it'll cost an arm and a leg". MWM can be tight cautious when it comes to money.

The lovely lady at Whirlpool explains to me that it will cost £72.50 + the cost of any parts to come and fix it but I can pay £149.00 today which will cover the cost of everything concerned with this repair, plus any repairs in the next 12 months and if it become irreparable in the next 12 months we get a replacement.

"I'll have it" I say "here's my credit card number".

They're coming on Monday to fix it and MWM is happy, as long as we have takeaways all weekend so there's no washing up!

Then guess what - two hours later the dishwasher started up on its own!!!! WTF is that all about???

As we've already paid for the call out and there is obviously something wrong with the damn thing, we're not going to cancel the engineer's visit and let him check it over.

MWM is happy he doesn't have to wash-up by hand!



News on the knee
After my marathon walk my knee feels fine, in fact yesterday I went with MWM to the local market to collect the greengrocery and then I drove the car!! I only drove it round the block to see how it felt (wierd!) but I did it.

Miles and Miles and Miles.....

Is how far I walked on Wednesday!

MWM and I decided to have a day out as the weather forecast was so good, so we went to Southport on the train from our local railway station. I took my 'stick' with me as I intended doing a lot of walking about and still feel I need my 'comfort blanket' when I'm outside.

We got the 9.30 a.m. train and arrived there at 11.15 a.m., and the first thing we did was to walk down to the promenade. Now the promenade in Southport is not as you may imagine near the sea! Oh no, there's the promenade then you have to walk about another half a mile further to get to the sea wall.

Click on photos to enlarge

photographs copyright 2007

Here's MWM standing on the Promenade with the Marine Way Bridge behind him. You have to go over the bridge to get to the sea wall.

You drive over the bridge and come to the car park and there it is the Sea Wall. The sea is a lot further out though, even when the tide's in. It's a standing joke that you can go to Southport and never see the sea!

The traditional Merry go Round Rides are not often seen these days but Southport still retains this quaint seaside tradition with this carousel at the top end of Southport's pier. The "Golden Gallopers" as it is known was built in the early 1900's and was purchased by Silcock's in 1989. It took 3 years to restore to working order and has 3 cockerels and 33 horses, all named after members of the Silccock family or their friends.

As we crossed the road and walked back into the town to have a sit down and a drink, we came across this statue of Queen Victoria and in the distance you can see an obelisk. It's not really leaning, it's just the way I took the photograph I think!

We stopped just past Queen Victoria and sat outside a pub with a drink - cheers!

Then set off again back to Lord Street (the main shopping street) which also boasts an obelisk. I think they like them don't you? You'll be pleased to know the only shopping I did was window shopping! By this time we had walked round in a circle and it was 1.15 p.m. so time for lunch.

We found this restaurant/pub in one of the side streets and had traditional Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas - an absolute must when you go to the seaside!

Fortified, I said I just had to see the sea so there was only one thing for it - a walk to the end of the pier!

Now Southport Pier is 3,650ft (1,112m) long. There is a little tram like thingy that runs the length of the Pier but I was determined to walk!

This is the start of the pier, you can just make out the sea in the distance. You can sponser a plank on the pier and have a little plaque with your name or message on it. We found this one for Ken Dodd O.B.E. Ken is a famous British Comedian.

We also noticed a skatepark and the minature railway alongside the pier.

Of course there were children making sandcastles on the beach and enjoying Donkey Rides.

Here I am striding out about halfway on my march. I'm the one on the right with the stick!

Look how big the beach is! The sea wall is just behind the line of cars on the left, where else can you park on the beach?

I made it! Here I am at the end of the pier having a well earned rest. Not sure who the chappie in the background is though! I sat down twice on my journey to the end of the pier but I wasn't in any pain, just tired. After all it was about 3/4 of a mile!

This is the the view I was looking at as I sat at the end of the pier - the long walk back! Shall I wait for the little tram I pondered? No, I'll walk and this time I won't stop until I reach the end.
So, off we go again.

I didn't stop once and as we got closer to the end we noticed a paddle steamer on the lake, which is just at the entrance to the pier. Only in Southport would you need a lake so close to the sea.

And just to the left of the paddle steamer a beer garden, right at the end of the pier. I was on a mission now! I need to rest and where better than in the beer garden with a lovely cool beer. I even managed to walk down the metal staircase you can see there.

We drank rested there for about half an hour then it was time to set off for the train home. We had another 1/4 of a mile to walk back to the station but there was no rush, we had plenty of time.

We got to the station in plenty of time, even managing to look in a few shops on the way back, but we didn't buy anything.

The journey home was peaceful as we reflected on the lovely day we'd had and how far I had managed to walk.

We're now planning another day out, probably to York as soon as we get another good weather day. I'll keep you posted.

The Rules.....

1. The Female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possible know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of them.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misundertanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If rule 6 applies, the male must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female may change her mind at any time.

9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The male is expected to be a mind reader at all times.

14. The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.

16. If the female has PMS all the rules are null and void.

17. The female is ready when she is ready.

18. The male must be ready at all times.

Dona Nobis Pacem.....

Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.

Buddha (560-483 B.C.)







Human Beings, indeed all sentient beings, have the right to pursue happiness and live in peace and freedom.

The XIVth Dalai Lama







Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

Albert Einstein (1979-1955)







It is possible to live in peace.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)







We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.

William Gladstone (1809-1898)









If there is to be peace in the world, There must be peace in the nations.

If there is to be peace in the nations, There must be peace in the cities.

If there is to be peace in the cities, There must be peace between neighbors.

If there is to be peace between neighbors, There must be peace in the home.

If there is to be peace in the home, There must be peace in the heart.

Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)





And last but not least in the Words of John Lennon -



Give Peace a Chance







Listen to it here









If you would like to put up your own Peace Globe you can get one at Mimi Writes, I hope you'll join in folks.

Double Entendres........

Here are some extracts from letters received by the Gas Board...


Can you move the meter so that it won't cause an obstruction in my passage?


The Electric man did it through the floorboards but your man put it in my front passage where everyone can see it, and I don't like it so much in the kitchen as I did in the shop window.



I told my husband it was safe to have it in all night, but he won't. If he comes to the showroom like I did, can the lady satisfy him behind the counter and talk him out of it?



I was told mine was no good but if it is altered I can get the North Sea in.



I have heard there are two ways you can have it and it worked out cheaper the more you got if you have it the other way.



I am not satisfied with an apprentice, so will you send a man to do it properly?



My wife will be ready for your man if you will let her know when he is coming on a postcard.



I will try to pay before the end of the month because my husband will be surprised if you cut it off without telling him.



My husband is pretty handy but he says your men can do it better because of their tools.



It has gone slack with use and my husband can't make it tight no matter how he tries, so for the time being we are making do with an old gas ring.



My slot is not blocked now but your men made an awful mess banging their tools on the wall.



Since I made arrangements with your salesman I am having a baby and would like to change it for a drying cabinet.



My neighbour has a bigger one than we had, it makes a difference to her water when she fills the bath.



My husband was under the impression I was getting it at reduced rates but your salesman didn't use his head and got me into trouble.



It is about time your workmen came back to fill the hole because we are fed up of having it in the street, it is a big attraction and we are getting children by the dozen.

It's Peace Globe Day tomorrow folks. If you want to join in read all about it and get your Peace Globe at Mimi Writes.

My knee
Tuesday 5th June
Doing really well, walking quite a bit more, still with the crutch outside but it's just a security blanket really.

My Project....

Some of you may remember in my post "How I started blogging" I said that I was considering starting another blog to publish My Grandmother's biography, which was written by my father a few years ago. Well your enthusiasm spurred me on so that's what I've been working on and it is now done.

Despite not having very much education, for reasons you will come to understand if you read it, my Dad has managed to write 27,394 words about his beloved mother.

Dad promised KIT (his mother) that one day he would write her story and at the age of 70 he did just that. I typed it up for him, printed it off and sent it to a few publishers, unfortunately they returned them saying that it was too short.

He is now 83 and I promised him I would publish KIT's story for the world to read so, as I failed with the publishers, I have now put it on the web where it is not dependent on people buying it, it can be read by the whole world.

I have called it KIT - A Biography Of My Mother by J.H. Dawson - it is a testament to my grandmother and my wonderful father, her youngest son.

So if you would like to read it you can find it here.

If you read it, please feel free to leave any comments in the guest book there or here on this post.

I hope you enjoy it.

When did that happen? ......

I just noticed that my counter says over 10,000 visitors and I have clocked up over 100 posts - how did that happen without me noticing???!!!!!

I'm going out for the day, see you tomorrow.

The Link Train...

Well, I got tagged by Josh at the Gabbatha Journey to do this meme. It's a long one but fortunately only involves copying and pasting!

“~Start Copying Here~”

and copy all the things listed without removing the links (Of course, the train would be no use without those links) Move all the sites labeled “Enjoyable finds” to the list labeled “Oldies”. Add 5 sites that you want to include in the train under Enjoyable Finds and make a link to their blog, then invite them to join the train. So I'm inviting the following 5, but only if you want to.

Enjoyable finds:
Lettuce Eating
There are a million stories in the naked city
Imagined Life
A Piece of My Mind
Mike's Homefront


Oldies:
CrAzY Working Mom
Everything And Nothing
Finding Life's Enchantments
Ms Maggie Moo Talks 2 U
Queenie's Random Ramblings
Minnesota MeanderingsEclectic Spaghetti
The Wonderful World of Nothing
Live Life Love Life
The Gabbatha Journey
The Post College Years II
Welcome to the Old Fart’s Blog
The Ice Queen
There Was an Ocean
Brooke’s Musings
Quilly’s Quips ~ visit my site!
Writer’s Cramps II ~ visit my site!…
a work in progress ~ visit my site!
Lifecruiser ~ visit my site!
Ever After…
My Way ~ visit my site!
Insanity Prevails~”Visit my site”
My Romantic Home~”Visit my site”
fairiebees~”Visit my site”
Exceedingly Mundane~”Visit my site”
Smokey Mountain Breakdown~ “Visit my site”
Kaliblue - Visit My Site
Just me shann - Visit My Site
Tigger Bob’s- Visit My Site
Star8278- Visit My Site
Asara Dragon- Visit My Site
A Little Piece Of Me - Visit My Site
The Rocky Mountain Retreat - Visit My Site
Scrappin…with life in this New Year of 2007 - Visit My Site
Rhonda’s Blog - Visit My Site
Skittles’ Place - Visit My Site
Cruftbucket- Visit My Site
Goldercoaster - Visit My Site
ComedyPlus - Visit My Site
eJabs- Visit My Site
UntwistedVortex - Visit My Site
The Chronicles of My Life - Visit My Site
I am Who I am - Visit My Site
WebStyle - Visit My Site
Endangered Spaces - Visit My Site
CoolAdzine for Marketers - Visit My Site
Rinsem’sRink - Visit My Site
Sean’s Ramblings - Visit My Site
MacBros Place - Visit My Site
Can’t Coach That - Visit My Site
Critical Assumption - Visit My Site
Foreign Perspectives - Visit My Site
Carl Pei - Visit My Site
Swapw - Visit My Site
Life of a School Bus Driver - Visit My Site
Tamiki - Visit My Site
Bobs’ Reformat This - Visit My Site
Shawn Knight - Visit My Site
Kelly Cho - Visit My Site
JohnChow dot com - Visit My Site
DoshDosh.com- Visit My Site
Jane May Blogs - Visit My Site
Ms. Danielle - Visit My Site
Stock Trading 101 - Visit My Site
Ed Lau - Visit My Site
Derrich.com- Visit My Site
Nate Whitehill - Visit My Site
Gary Lee - Visit My Site
MakeMoney Online with a 13-year Old - Visit My Site

~End Copying

DOH........

THE FOLLOWING QUESTION AND ANSWERS WERE COLLECTED FROM GCSE EXAM RESULTS . THESE ARE GENUINE RESPONSES (16 YEAR OLDS)



GEOGRAPHY

Q: Name the four seasons?
A: Salt, Pepper, Mustard And Vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink?
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A Body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

SOCIOLOGY

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


BIOLOGY

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (eg abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels a,e,i,o,u

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does varicose mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "caesarean section"?
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.


ENGLISH

Q: Use the word judicious in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can feel soft as your face.

Q: What does the word benign mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

TECHNOLOGY

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an arab or sikh wears on his head

My knee
Saturday 2nd June
Feeling good, I think it's turned the corner!

Faraway Shores.....

We spent 2 hours in the travel agents yesterday whilst my friend's daughter (who works there) scoured the computer for holiday bargains for us.

She came up with quite a few - Spain, Greece, Malta, Portugal, Canaries, Caribbean but there wasn't one that really took my fancy. "She must be hard to please" I can hear you say. No, not really but as MWM always trusts me to choose the holiday it has to really say to me "Come Here!" and none of them did. MWM tells everyone that all the holidays we have had have been fantastic and that's all down to my choices, so you can see I'm under a bit of pressure here folks! We have never been disappointed - yet - and I don't want to start now by taking any old holiday.

After some discussion with our travel agent friend it's been decided that as we don't want to go until about the 6th July (I'm back at the doctors on the 5th for another sick note) we should leave it until the week before and she will try to get us a 'real' bargain like the ones you always see in the travel agents windows. In the meantime she will be checking what's on offer daily and if anything comes up that she thinks would suit she'll give me a ring. How's that for service?

We got the suitcases out of the loft when we were having it insulated a few weeks ago, so I can pack at a minutes notice, after I've ironed everything of course. So keep your fingers crossed that we get a luxury cruise or all inclusive holiday in the Maldives for about £500 each.

AS IF!