Everything And Nothing

It's arrived.........

2009-11-10T06:00:00.005Z

This is so exciting!

At long last one for the ladies.......

Saturday Wordzzle # 88

2009-11-07T06:00:00.000Z

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts

This week's ten word challenge is: Cute, come with me to the Casbah, bloodhound, respiration, Facebook, Canada Geese, modern, gravity, spider webs, sea shells.

Mary had just had a conversation about sea shells on Facebook with her friend from Canada. "Geese" she thought suddenly, as she heard a flock of them flying by. The noise the geese were making awoke Cutey, her bloodhound, from his nap in front of the fire. "Come with me to the Casbah Cutey" Mary said as she tried to defy gravity by dragging the huge dog into her modern kitchen. The effort caused respiration problems for Mary, who was no spring chicken, and she noticed some spider webs on the light fitting and promptly forgot the reason why she's dragged Cutey into the kitchen. Mary's attention span was getting shorter!

And for the mini: curiosity killed the cat, charming Victorian, railroad tracks, tower, salt and pepper

“Pass the salt and pepper” said Dorian,
Hardly a charming Victorian
Reading the newspaper and a story about power
Whilst his wife stacked dishes, up like a tower.
Another story about old railroad tracks
had Dorian questioning the facts.
Then, whilst reading over Dorian’s shoulder,
His wife didn’t see the discarded folder.
As she tripped over the folder and slipped on the mat,
Dorian whispered
“Curiosity killed the cat!”

Megawordzzle

Miranda was not past her sell by date yet, she may have salt and pepper hair and gravity was having it’s effect on her body, but she was still modern in her outlook on life. She was an active member on Facebook and recently had got to know a man who had invited her to ‘come with me to the Casbah?” Miranda found this invitation rather cute from someone who seemed more like a rather charming Victorian gentleman than a Sheikh. Actually Mason lived in London and the casbah was a pub called ‘The Flying Canada Geese’ near the Telecom Tower in Marylebone, apparently.

They had been ‘talking’ for about six months and Miranda had been like a bloodhound in her quest to find out all about Mason before she agreed to meet him. She’d heard too many horror stories of meetings with people over the internet and didn’t believe the old saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’ – the more she could find out the better. Miranda hadn’t been totally honest with Mason especially regarding her age and where she was from. She was what some people might term as being from the wrong side of the railroad tracks with a chequered past and 30 years older than the age of 22 she’d led him to believe. Luckily no photographs had been exchanged so she had been able to ensnare him in her spider webs of lies but now it was time to face the music. Well what was a woman to do when they are being wooed by a young man over the internet? She didn’t want to frighten him off before they had a chance to get to know each other!

The day arrived for the date and Miranda took great care with her appearance, she couldn’t make herself look 22 but she did look good. She wore the earrings made from sea shells which would be how Mason would recognise her and she was to look for a man wearing a red tie. Miranda arrived at the pub half an hour earlier than was necessary to give herself time to get her respiration rate down to normal, after the long walk from the tube station, and have a drink before Mason arrived.

Miranda was a nervous wreck, jumping like a startled rabbit every time the door of the pub opened. Little did she know that Mason had arrived before her and had been watching her for the last half hour, just out of sight in the other bar. At the appointed meeting time Mason decided to introduce himself. OK she wasn’t exactly how she’d described herself but she was quite attractive and presentable.

“Miranda?” he asked.

Miranda looked up into the dark eyes - Mason hadn’t been completely truthful either. He must be at least 50 but, hey, he was smart and handsome - this could probably work after all!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 95 Jobsworth

2009-11-06T06:00:00.004Z

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

“It’s not part of your uniform” the employer said

“I am not taking it off” said the employee

“Then it’s a disciplinary matter” replied the employer

“Do it” said the employee who then reported it to the press.

Now the employer has changed their policy and employees are allowed to wear

remembrance poppies at work.

I bent the rules today - this is not fiction but it is 55 words, words that say a lot about the state of this country of mine! This actually happened in Lancashire.

The employer, Bodycare, actually threatened an employee with disciplinary action if she did not remove the poppy. You can read about it here.

The public and a local MP kicked up such a stink that the company has changed their policy but, I think, only because there were calls for the public to boycott their stores.

How disgusting is it that people are not allowed to support our fallen and injured service personnel?

I despair for this country of mine I really do!

Dona Nobis Pacem......

2009-11-05T06:00:00.004Z

Today is Blogblast for Peace.

If you aren't already flying your Peace Globe go get one and fly it. Then go to Mimi (Mimi Writes) and sign Mr. Linky so other Blogblasters can come visit you.

You can get your Peace Globe here, it has instructions on how to do it, then post it on your blog today.

Please join in and make your voice heard, it will make a difference.

Portrait of Words # 20

2009-11-03T06:00:00.004Z

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

The challenge is you are given a number of pictures and must use some/all of the pictures to create a story.

Madge and Ethel were so excited about their trip to Sydney, Australia; neither had been abroad before so it was a huge adventure. Once they had gotten over their jet lag they started on the itinerary they’d drawn up before leaving England and first on the list was Sydney Opera House.

A shopping expedition at the Queen Victoria Building was also on the ‘to do’ list, Ethel and Madge were thrilled with the shops and the fashions the mannequins displayed in the windows. The pair were fascinated by the two mechanical clocks, which featured dioramas and moving figures from moments in Australian history. They were intrigued to see a sealed letter displayed in a dome, which was written by Queen Elizabeth II in 1985 and is to be opened in 2085 by the future Lord Mayor of Sydney and read aloud to the People of Sydney. No-one knows what the letter contains except the Queen.

A visit to Sydney Old Town had been recommended to them and they decided to go because there were rumours that it was closing down. Something that proved to be true as it did in fact close in 2003, the year after their visit.

They thoroughly enjoyed themselves wandering round the streets discovering the lifestyle of Old Sydney Town, seeing redcoats on parade, hearing the cannons and watching stories unfold before their very eyes by the actors and actresses such as pistol duels and a convict rebellion. They sat at the back of the Magistrates Court and heard convicts being tried, convicted and punished, as well as having a ride on a bullock drawn wagon being driven by a jovial man, who looked like and ageing Gerard Depardieu with a moustache.

It was whilst riding on the wagon that Madge started feeling unwell, she complained of stomach pains and was sweating profusely, then complained of feeling sick. Suddenly Ethel screamed “A spider, a spider!” pointing to a huge black thing scurrying across the bales of hay they were sitting on.

The driver pulled on the reins and stopped the cart telling everyone to get off immediately. “Were you bitten?” he asked Madge. There was a class of children on a school outing on the ride and he asked them if they had seen the spider, they said they hadn’t. Taking no chances he radioed for help and within minutes a car had arrived with a first aider who quickly telephoned for the air ambulance thinking that it was a possibility Madge had been bitten by a Funnel Web Spider from Ethel’s description of it. Madge by this time was in panic mode and feeling decidedly unwell. The first aider tried to reassure Madge by giving her the anti-venom, which they always kept because of the distance from the nearest hospital, and telling her they were only sending her to hospital as a precaution and she would be fine.

After making sure that nobody else had been bitten the first aider suggested they carried on with the rest of the tour and the children were ushered away by their teacher, who decided to take them to the tuck shop to take their minds off what had happened.

Standing by the bubble gum machine the children were laughing and joking and the teacher thought how insensitive children could be, they weren’t worried about what had happened to poor Madge at all. Luckily for the children, the teacher didn’t see the realistic looking replica Funnel Web Spider that they were passing round.

***************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blo gblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

"There is no way to peace. Peace is the way."

- A.J. Muste.

Awards....

2009-11-02T06:00:00.003Z

Pam at 'Finding Pam' kindly passed this award on to me. Thanks m'dear.

This one comes with unusual instructions. You have to doctor the list of recipients below by taking out #1 and moving everyone up, then put your own name and link at the bottom. So #1 becomes #2, #3 becomes #2 etc., etc.

1. Lyla
2.Mr. D
3.Sweet_shelo
4. Chris
5. Kaye
6. Yami
7. Mizhelle
8. Hootn’ Anni
9.Thom
10. finding pam

So, the above list now becomes:

1.Mr. D
2.Sweet_shelo
3. Chris
4. Kaye
5. Yami
6. Mizhelle
7. Hootn’ Anni
8.Thom
9. finding pam

10. Akelamalu

Get it?

Also the lovely Thom at 'Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever' bestowed this award on me too.

Thankyou Thom.

I can't choose between you all so anyone who comments on this post I want you to take the awards for yourself and pass them on.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

If there is to be peace in the world,

There must be peace in the nations.

If there is to be peace in the nations,

There must be peace in the cities.

If there is to be peace in the cities,

There must be peace between neighbors.

If there is to be peace between neighbors,

There must be peace in the home.

If there is to be peace in the home,

There must be peace in the heart.

-- Lao Tzu (570-490 B.C.)

Saturday Wordzzle # 87

2009-10-31T06:00:00.007Z

Having just been over to Raven's blog to sign in to Mr Linky I discovered that I have used the wrong words completely! I have no idea how this has happened.

As I have made the effort to write the Wordzzles Iwill leave them up. I hope the other Wordzzlers will make allowances for what must have been a senior moment. Sorry!

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts.

This week's 10 word challenge is: riverboat, procrastination, drank, demons, invisible, candle, enough, film stars, summer job, computer

Her colleagues had encouraged her to take time off from her job as a computer programmer and enter the talent competition and, after much procrastination, she had taken their advice. Chrissie won the competition hands down, the other entrants seemed invisible in comparison, they couldn’t hold a candle to her. Chrissie was, literally, an overnight success. Within weeks her first single ‘Riverboat Queen’ was #1 in the charts, she was being courted by film stars, pop idols and movie moguls. Five years previously Chrissie had been at rock bottom, broke and alcoholic, but with an iron will she had given up drinking and gone to , where she found she had a flair for working on computers.

Kelly’s album, ‘Summer Job’, was destined to be a huge chart hit, if only she could limit the amount she drank and stay sober long enough to enjoy it. Now, with success , her demons had returned.

For the mini: general demeanor, surprisingly, masked man, reach, standards

General Demeanor, Albert to his friends, the owner of the store tried to reach the masked man as he made off with the takings from the till, but he was surprisingly quick and was soon out of reach. Albert had only given chase because he had standards, he wasn’t going to sit back and let them get away with robbing him, even if it was just the dummy till, full of monopoly money.

Megawordzzle

Enough, the time for procrastination was over decided Jane. She’d thought about it long enough, now it was time to act. For too long now her general demeanor had been one of a shrinking violet, it was time to shake off the cloak of shyness, which had made her invisible for so long.

Surprisingly, Jane felt that at last she may be able to reach the standards her father, Nelson Peabody the Hollywood Director, had instilled in the great film stars he had the pleasure of working with. He had directed box office blockbusters such as “Riverboat Tales”, “The Mysterious Masked Man”, “Computer Demons”, “A Candle at Midnight” and “I Drank Blood”. A great man deserved a great daughter.

The decision was made. She would take the summer job she’d been offered at the Studios in Hollywood as a gopher, it was a start!

*************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace? Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Eleanor Roosevelt

It isn't enough to talk about peace, one must believe it.

And it isn't enough to believe in it, one must work at it.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 94 Shock......

2009-10-30T06:00:00.001Z

The wind was howling, leaves swirling outside, she hated this time of year.

Suddenly a knock on the door.

Wiping her hands, she went to answer.

Opening the door a crack she jumped back in horror at the grotesque sight that greeted her.

A scream escaped her lips.

The children laughed and accepted the treats.

*************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace? Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
One day we must come to see that peace is not merely a distant goal we seek, but that it is a means by which we arrive at that goal. We must pursue peaceful ends through peaceful means.

Voting time......

2009-10-28T06:00:00.007Z

Now's your chance to vote for who gets

The Great Imagination Award #4

This award is unique to whoever wins it and cannot be passed on, and you can't sell it on Ebay either! LOL

You will remember on my Saturday Wordzzle #85 I invited readers to say what Arthur didn't know about Fluffy Bunny in my Mini Wordzzle, and those that used their imaginations came up with some absolutely fabulous entries.

All the entries made me laugh and surpassed anything I could have written. I would like to give the award to all of you, but then the spirit of competition would be lost wouldn't it? So, I want everyone who reads them to vote in the comments who's they like the best and the winner will get the award. Of course if two or more people get the same number of votes then each of them will get the award.

Here are the entries:

quilly said...
Art's wholesome, model wife whom he calls Fluffy Bunny actuially used to be a Playboy Bunny, but on her 26th birthday, she had too much to drink and told Heffy he was a lousy lover. He tossed her out on her ear and made sure she would never work in modeling or showbiz again.Several months later, almost destitute, Sandy stumbled into a church and met Jesus. She cleaned up her life and with the help of the congregation got a good paying job and went to college, where she met her husband and fell madly in love.

Thom said...
My entry:Fluffy Bunny is a sheep in wolfs clothing!

Nessa said...
Arthur doesn't know that Fluffy Bunny is a code name for history's all time best spy. Able to insinuate herself into any situation because she looks so sweet and innocent, Fluffy Bunny has been able to prevent the worst disasters from happening.

Dr.John said...
We know she is really a wer-bunny shapeshifter. When he leaves she turns back to a rabbit and eats carrots. He should have noticed their carrot bill going through the roof. But like most husbands he is not very observant . He is happy as long as his overalls are crisp and clean.

Linda said...
Fluffy Bunny is actually running a discreet escort service but as long as she continues to make his lunch and ensure that his overalls are crisp and clean, Arthur is a happy man and has no clue as to what is going on in his house when he's away.

Susan at Stony River said...
I'd say Arthur's wife makes such great gourmet lunches and can afford to get his overalls professionally cleaned, because she's leading a secret life as an author of lesbian bondage erotica, under the pseudonym Bunny McFluffles.

Reston Friends! said...
Fluffy Bunny is a dream weaver. Purveyor of an ancient art that involves all natural fibers including cotton, spider silk, and those little things Dumbledore pulls out of his head when he's putting memories into the basin. Bunny's job is to incorporate them into fabulous textiles that hang on the walls of a special art gallery so that the dreams and the stories in them are kept through time. When enough time has passed, they vanish overnight. But the dragons know where they are because they are prescient and have lived so much longer than us. The guardian who opens and closes the portal to move the art is a timeless being, who in his most previous existence, was known as Bartholomew Arnold.

Raven said...
Fluffy Bunny has a secret life as the star of an up and coming punk rock band which coordinates it's hours to coordinate with her husband's work schedule. Her band name is Demon Hawk. She hires someone to do the cleaning and laundry.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...
fluffy bunny is a cake baker, the best in the world and her cakes bring in top dollar. smiles,

Fandango said...
Fluffy bunny hasn't told him that just like a rabbit she is pregnant with triplets.

Shrinky said...
Fluffy bunny is totally obsessed by him, in fact she started out as his stalker. He thinks his first wife ran off with the blind, lesbian dwarf juggler living next door, but in reality, Fluffy Bunny ambushed her when she pretended to be a door-to-door starched apron sales-woman. She rolled her in an industrial starched overall and fed her pork luncheon meat until she burst. Sadly, the poor midget, hearing the commotion, drowned in the explosion when she came over to investigate. Both are pushing beautiful daisies up beneath the patio.Arthur can't believe how well his life has gone since his second marriage, anyone who worries him simply disappears.

Argent said...
What does she get up to when he's not around? Having an affair? No, too obvious. Maybe she actually is a were-bunny and turns into her rabbit form while he's out. Drat! Just read that DrJohn had the same idea! Note to self: read comments before commenting.Maybe she's got a bizzare rabbit fetish and wraps herself up in their freshly flayed skins, then films herself, making tons of wonga on the internet.

So, who gets the award? It's up to you -vote now!

********************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

R. Buckminster Fuller:

Either war is obsolete or men are.

Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 3 Answers.......

2009-10-26T06:00:00.033Z

OK, for all those who took part here's the answers to the Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 3:

1. L.B.D.D.L.G. - Lavender's Blue Dilly Dilly Lavender's Green

2. B.A.G.C.O.T.P. - Boys And Girls Come Out To Play

3. C.A.D.D. - Cock A Doodle Doo

4. S.S.M.A.P.G.T.T.F. - Simple Simon Met A Pieman Going To The Fair

5. D.D.B.P.I.T.W. - Ding Dong Bell Pussy's In The Well

6. G.P.P.A.P. - Georgie Porgie Pudding And Pie

7. G.G.G.W.S.I.W. - Goosey Goosey Gander Where Shall I Wander

8. B.B.B.D.G.A.H. - Bye Baby Bunting Daddy's Gone A Hunting

9. T.W.A.C.M. - There Was A Crooked Man

Here's all the folk who got some right, those with most right first, in the order I received their emails.

So well done, please take the badge to put on your blog and display it with pride for your achievement.

Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever)

Thumbelina (Secret Worlds)

Bindi (Beautiful World)

Nitebyrd (A Dustbunny In The Wind)

Look out for Nursery Rhymes Quiz Part 4.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

Carl Sandburg:
Choose:The single clenched fist lifted and ready,

Or the open hand held out and waiting.

Choose:For we meet by one or the other

Saturday Wordzzle # 86

2009-10-24T06:00:00.003+01:00

Here's my efforts.

This week's Ten Word Challenge: Incensed, sidewinder, bogus, conniption, Haz-mat, conniving, customize, perforated, zeal, rolling off a log

Mary was incensed when the doctor suggested that she was prone to conniptions. Just because she had ranted and raved calling him a charlatan and bogus did not warrant him saying she had hysterical fits! Granted she had landed him a sidewinder, but that was because he had scared her when he entered her hospital room wearing a Hazmat because he thought she was contagious. Then the conniving SOB had told everyone that she had perforated his protection suit in her zeal to escape! She admitted that she had tried to help him customize it by taking the helmet off, but that was so he wouldn’t scare other patients. Unfortunately lies came to his lips as easy as rolling off a log, the powers that be believed him and they sectioned her.

And for the mini: abstemious, chlorophyll, origami, cheerleader, dung beetle

Annie had become abstemious in her food intake, in an effort to maintain her slight frame for her passion as a cheerleader. Her friends kept telling her she was virtually living off chlorophyll, she ate so little. Why, a dung beetle ate more than she! Annie realised she’d gone too far with her dieting, when she collapsed one day and the paramedics folded her up like a sheet of origami paper and put her on a stretcher.

Megawordzzle

“Another bogus caller” thought Daphne, slamming down the phone. Daphne was becoming incensed by the number of calls she was getting, it interfered with her TV viewing and she was likely to have a conniption if she got one more call she decided! The older she got the more hissy fits she was having.

Opening the fridge she took out her lunchtime yoghurt, which she ate every day religiously. Her nieces said she didn’t eat enough, accused her of being abstemious, she did watch what she ate, after all she didn’t want to get fat. Daphne had been a cheerleader in her youth and wanted to keep her lithe, supple body for as long as possible, to fit into the beautiful clothes in her wardrobe. She didn’t want to end up like her friends wearing clothes that resembled Hazmats.

After eating her yoghurt Daphne picked up her “How to do Origami” book and turned to the page showing how to make a dung beetle. Within minutes she had made it and was congratulating herself “easy as rolling off a log” she thought.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Daphne peered through the security peephole and saw her neighbour Sidewinder Syd. She called him sidewinder because he was a snake like man who gave her the jitters. He worked in a lab, apparently, and was always going on about chlorophyll and things she knew nothing about, Daphne thought he was a conniving creep who only kept coming round to try to find out how much money she had. He kept telling her about his friend who was a lawyer and asking if she had a will, saying that his friend could come round and customize a will to her exact needs.

Just as Daphne was about to tell Syd she was busy and he would have to go she suddenly got the sharpest pain in her side which literally took her breath away and she dropped to the floor like a stone. Syd’s zeal disappeared and he stood open-mouthed staring at Daphne on the floor. Quickly he dialled 999 and asked for an ambulance, then he tried to make Daphne comfortable until it arrived. Syd went with her to the hospital where the doctors diagnosed a perforated appendix, saying had Syd not acted quickly Daphne would have died for sure. Syd stayed at the hospital until the emergency operation was over and Daphne was conscious. He promised to let her niece’s know what had happened and look after her cat until she got home.

Syd picked Daphne up from the hospital when it was time for her to return home. He had filled the fridge with food and cleaned the place from top to bottom and Daphne’s cat was sitting on her chair purring contentedly. Daphne revised her opinion of Syd and thanked him for saving her life and all the help he’d given her. It was only when she went to bed that she discovered the money she kept under the mattress was gone, along with all her jewellery. Of course she had no proof but she just knew it was Syd, “he won’t set foot over my threshold again” she told her neice. It was then she noticed her niece’s new shoes and her own gold charm bracelet peeking out from her niece’s cardigan sleeve.

********************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem
Latin for "Grant Us Peace"

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

Jimi Hendrix:
When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 93 Bright New Future

2009-10-23T06:00:00.001+01:00

Bright New Future

New Knee

New Hip

New Liver

New Kidneys

New Heart

Pick them up at Walmart

or grow your own.......Arms, Legs, Teeth, Brain?

The future is -

Replace all your worn out parts and live to 100 years old.

What's the point?

The way things are going the Government would make you work until you're 90!

************************************************************************************

Do you know 5th November is Blogblast for Peace?

Bloggers all over the world will be posting the same post

Dona Nobis Pacem

Latin for "Grant Us Peace".

and flying a Peace Globe with their own message for Peace. The Title of the post is important. The goal is for all blog post titles to say the same thing on the same day.

Write about peace that day or simply fly your globe.

Be part of it, join in by going here and following the instructions of how to get your Peace Globe and join in the biggest Blogblast for Peace ever - it's really easy honest.

John Lennon:
Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one.

Portrait Of Words #19...

2009-10-20T06:00:00.022+01:00

This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now every two weeks and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.

I haven't written one for a while but I felt inspired by these particular photos, so here goes....

Sheila was busy arranging the altar flowers for Sunday morning service, in the church that had stood in the centre of the village for centuries. It was a beautiful village, peaceful and friendly.

The surrounding countryside attracted a lot of visitors such as ramblers and people just out for a Sunday drive or, quite often, people came for a peaceful weekend staying at the local pub which had half a dozen rooms to let. Everyone in the village was friendly and helpful, there was no crime and apart from the occasional ‘too much to drink’ after a family party, which Sheila found acceptable, the village was a veritable paradise, even her husband had loved it.

The flowers had been cut from her garden this morning. She was proud of her garden and her semi-detached cottage not far from the church. Sheila had moved here with her husband when they had retired, as it wasn’t too far away from town where their son lived but was a lot quieter obviously. When her husband had died, only two years into retirement, her son had asked her to move back to town and live with him and his wife but by then Sheila had settled into country life, making many friends in the village. She decided to stay and ten years on was a long established member of the church council, which is how she had been able to arrange for her grandson to be baptised there. She was looking forward to the service tomorrow, it wasn’t to be just a Sunday Service it was the day her first grandchild was to be Baptised, a momentous occasion.

“Poor little Daryl must have colic” she thought, he started screaming as soon as they brought him into the church and hadn’t stopped since. Hopefully he wouldn’t carry on through the baptismal service, how embarrassing would that be? The godparents were called to the font by the vicar as they desperately they tried to calm the yowling baby. Sheila was getting more and more agitated watching her squirming grandson being passed from pillar to post in an effort to placate him. Eventually it was time for the child to be given to the vicar for the blessing, which made the child’s crying even worse. The vicar made the sign of the cross on the baby’s head with the holy water and there was an audible gasp as Daryl projectile vomited green bile all over the vicar’s cassock! Sheila was mortified when she heard a member of the congregation mutter “Maybe they should have called him Damien, he’s obviously a demon!”

“Maybe it’s time to move back to town. Daryl has inherited more than his grandfather’s eyes” thought Sheila.

Crash Aftermath........

2009-10-19T06:00:00.006+01:00

'Apparently' there was a passenger in the taxi that caused the recent car crash I was involved in. I am not entirely sure that this true, as I don’t remember seeing anyone else in the car but I can’t be 100% sure. Maybe my witness will be able to shed some light on it. Anyway this passenger is claiming injury and is holding me responsible for the crash! He says the taxi was waiting to turning right and I ran into the rear of the taxi. Of course the damage to both cars is not consistent with this ‘story’. The ‘road’ he says the taxi was turning into is further on than where the accident happened, so if what he said was true the accident would have happened in a completely different place.

Both the taxi driver and I have the same insurance company – one would think in this case the insurance company would just make a decision on who they deem to be at fault and get on with, as they are going to have to pay out anyway. They are now appointing an accident investigator to take statements from all concerned which suggests to me that they don’t believe either him or me. That’s fine with me, I know what happened and I’ve told the truth. Also my ‘independent’ witnesses will verify what I’ve said is true. I don’t know what will happen if they find that the taxi driver and his ‘passenger’ are making a false claim – hopefully something serious!

Quiz and Competition

I have had a few entries for the Nursery Rhyme Quiz already but if you still want to enter you can. Just email me your answers before next Monday and you could win this badge to display on your blog.

You only have to get one right to claim it!

Also, I have had quite a few entries for The Great Imagination Award.

You just have to comment on my Wordzzle post saying what you think it is that Arthur doesn't know about Fluffy Bunny. I will post all the entries and ask people to vote for which one they consider the most imaginative. This award is unique and can't be passed on.

So, if you haven't already, get your entries in.

Saturday Wordzzle # 85 and Competition Time.......

2009-10-17T06:00:00.003+01:00

I haven't done a Wordzzle since July and am trying to get back into writing them again. You may remember I used to do doodles as well with my Wordzzles - I may do them again in the future but not at the moment. I'm combining this weeks Wordzzles with a competition - you will find details at the end of the post and I hope you'll all have a go.

Here's the 'structions for taking part in Wordzzles, if you don't already why not give it a try?

The idea is, every week Raven (Views From Raven's Nest) gives you between 8 and 10 words/phrases and you have to create a small but coherent paragraph using every one of them and the same with the mini challenge. You can do either, both or a megawordzzle using all the words, or even all three, it's up to you, you can post them on your blog or email them to Raven. If you join in go to Raven's and put your name on the Mr. Linky so other participants can come visit you.

Here's my efforts.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge is: early morning light, Pinocchio, mist, leaves, sandy, coffee, walking, traffic, pray, stomach

Walking to work, in the early morning light, Sandy Pinocchio kicked the piles of fallen autumn leaves in her path. Her stomach was grumbling because she had missed breakfast, so she stopped off at the shop to buy a coffee and a doughnut. She enjoyed the walk to work. She had recently changed jobs to one nearer home, which meant she no longer had to sit in traffic for an hour every morning waiting for the red mist of frustration to descend. In her last job, every morning her last words to her husband as he walked out the door had been “Pray that the traffic is light for me today” now she just said “I love you”!

And for the mini: train, art, admirable, cotton, fluffy

Arthur picked up his lunch box that his wife had lovingly prepared for him and set off to his job as a train driver, his cotton overalls crisp and clean – another of his wife’s admirable qualities – making sure he had clean overalls every day. She was very into art and all things craft-like and he called her his little fluffy bunny. If only he knew!

Megawordzzle

Sandy was sitting on the train enjoying a coffee on her way to work, she looked at the other passenger in her carriage. He was a strange looking man with a nose like Pinocchio. The man smiled and her stomach lurched, “I pray he didn’t notice me staring at him” she thought.

Turning to the window she watched the passing scenery – the mist over the fields in the early morning light was an eerie sight.

“Are you interested in art?” the man asked.

“I beg your pardon” asked Sandy, taken aback that he’d spoken to her.

“Art? Does it interest you?” he asked again.

“Oh, yes, somewhat. I don’t know a lot about it but I know what I like” she replied.
”I own an art gallery, here’s my card. If you’re ever in the area do please drop in and I’ll show you round” he said.

She looked at the name on the card – ‘Bartholomew Arnold’ it said. The conversation progressed and she found herself warming to him. He was a lot older than she and had an admirable friendliness about him. She was surprised to find they seemed to like a lot of the same things such as walking, the colours of autumn leaves, and they even discussed the excellent properties of cotton and how it didn’t go fluffy like synthetic fibres. It emerged that they both hated driving in morning traffic, which was the reason they were both on the train.

Before they knew it the journey had ended and they said their goodbyes, Sandy promised to pop into his Art Gallery as soon as she had a spare moment. Bart said he’d look forward to showing her round.

Of course, like all chance encounters, they never met on the train again and Sandy had all but forgotten about Bart, until she was returning from a meeting one day and happened to stumble across the Art Gallery. Being in no rush she decided to pop in on the off chance that Bart may be there. She had long ago lost the card he’d given her but she remembered his name and the name of the gallery.

She pushed open the door of the gallery and walked in. There were a few people about but she didn’t see Bart. Rather than ask for him she wandered about looking at the paintings.

Suddenly she saw him. She walked over and looked at the portrait.

Bartholomew Arnold

Proprietor

Born 16th November 1950 – Died 12th December 2007

What? It had to be a mistake. Today’s date was 15th January 2009, it wasn’t that long ago that she’d met him on the train. She remembered the date because it was the day after she’d gotten engaged, it was 12th December last year!

“Can I help you?”

She turned to see a younger version of Bart.

“It’s a great portrait of my father” said the man “we miss him so much. The gallery isn’t the same without him.”

COMPETITION

Ok here’s another chance for someone to win

THE GREAT IMAGINATION AWARD #4

This award is unique and can't be passed on by the recipient.

All you have to do is tell me in the comments what it is about Fluffy Bunny, in the Mini Wordzzle, that Arthur doesn’t know.

Then we’ll have a vote on who is the most imaginative.
Are you up for it?

Go on and have a go then.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 92 Sick Note.....

2009-10-16T06:00:00.001+01:00

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

SICK NOTE

I've lost two fingers - so type with the others

I've lost an arm - so you've got another one

I've lost a leg - here's a crutch

I have IBS - we'll give you a colostomy

My head's falling off - we'll sew it back on

"But Doctor........

"Look the Government says you have to go back to work!"

The powers that be here have decided they want as many people as possible off Invalidity Benefit and back to work or on Job Seekers Allowance, which will save the Government a fortune. Granted there are malingerers who could be working, but a lot of people are truly unfit to work and they will be a lot worse off. As usual it will be the honest people who suffer! This won't affect me but I know people that it will affect badly.

Nursery Rhyme Quiz Part 3....

2009-10-14T06:00:00.015+01:00

Fancy a bit of fun?

Try your hand at working out what Nursery Rhymes the following initials stand for. You can get the kids and grandkids to help you out - don't laugh it's not as easy as it sounds!

Example: B.B.B.S.H.Y.A.W. - Baa Baa Black sheep Have You Any Wool - get the gist?

Email (through my profile) your answers to me in the next week, then next week I'll post the answers and the winner(s).

All those who get any right can claim this badge for their blog.

Josh at the Gabbatha very kindly made it for me, isn't he clever!

1. L.B.D.D.L.G.

2. B.A.G.C.O.T.P.

3. C.A.D.D.

4. S.S.M.A.P.G.T.T.F.

5. D.D.B.P.I.T.W.

6. G.P.P.A.P.

7. G.G.G.W.S.I.W.

8. B.B.B.D.G.A.H

9. T.W.A.C.M. Good Luck.

Male or Female.......

2009-10-12T06:00:00.001+01:00

Some useful information I received by email......

Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

Sunday Night Fever......

2009-10-08T06:00:00.000+01:00

You remember we visited Queenie last weekend to help celebrate her hubby, D’s, 50th birthday? Well we had a great weekend!

We set off Friday at 3.30 pm, as soon as I had got home from work. I actually drove to their house for the first time in the 19 years we’ve known them and been visiting, though we went the scenic route as I don’t ‘do’ motorways. That was a treat for MWM as he usually drives. It must be a year since we’ve actually seen them but, as always, we fell into a relaxed mode because we’ve been friends for so long. We had fish’n’chips from the award winning chippy round the corner, then MWM and D went to the pub whilst Queenie and I caught up on all the gossip and the itinerary for the weekend. Before you ask – yes it was a late night and yes we did have a lot to drink!

Saturday dawned to find us all a bit worse for wear but we had to go to the venue for Sunday’s party for Q&D to make sure everything would go according to plan. The actual venue is their son’s very upmarket Café/Lounge Bar ‘Saint’s’, where we had a light lunch and a couple of coffees before heading home to have 40 winks before going out for a meal that evening. We opted for a local Tandoori restaurant that evening where they do great food, the atmosphere is friendly and the service superb. We were all really tired from the night before so were home and in bed for 11.30 p.m. – a first for all of us on one of ‘our weekends’, boy did we feel better for it the following day though!

Sunday was a busy day, well for Q&D anyway, shopping and getting food ready for the party that night, then we all had to don our fancy dress costumes and be down at the venue for 6 pm to take the food and help the staff to set it all up.
The dress theme was 60’s/70’s and here we are ready to go!

MWM, me, Queenie and D

D had given the DJ a playlist of all his favourite music from the era and later there was a duo playing – who I have to say were absolutely brilliant and it was their first proper gig!

Everyone was up dancing, especially the ‘Birthday Boy’, who I think danced to every single tune! The drinks were flowing and the food was great. Queenie had booked the minibus for midnight to take us back home and the four of us carried on the party there. I have to say it was one of the best parties I’ve ever been to, but I wouldn’t have expected anything less from Q&D being the great hosts they are! There were only a few people who didn’t wear fancy dress, the majority did and they looked fantastic. I’ve put together a slide show to show you just what an effort most folk put in.

Thanks for a great weekend Q&D and, as today is the day,…..

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY ‘D’

THE SUNDAY ROAST......

2009-10-06T19:23:00.000+01:00

You may or may not remember that way back on April 6th 2008 I was the subject of the Sunday Roast over at David McMahon's blog Authorblog. Mine was the 10th in a series of interviews which graced David's blog on Sundays up until the last one (number 84), which he published on 20th September 2009. David decided his blog would have to take a back seat and along with it THE SUNDAY ROAST feature which his loyal readers enjoyed so much. David is going to concentrate on his writing - he's a published writer and a fabulous photographer - you can see some of his photographs on his Authorblog or his Red Bubble site.

Thankfully Eddie Bluelights at Clouds & Silver Linings has been handed the baton and is taking on the responsibility of bringing new and interesting blogs to our attention from now on. It would have been such a shame to see such a great feature disappear from blogland - so THANKYOU EDDIE!

Eddie will be serving up his first SUNDAY ROAST on 11th October 2009 - do go visit him if you haven't already and be sure to visit on Sunday for his very first SUNDAY ROAST interview.

Update on Crash.....

2009-09-30T06:00:00.004+01:00

On the Friday after my unfortunate car crash (apparently now you are not allowed to say Road Traffic Accident you have to say Road Traffic Crash, don’t ask me why I don’t know. It’s not like people deliberately crash their cars is it? It is usually an accident), my insurance company sent a mechanic from an auto repair company to my house to assess the damage to my car.

I told the insurance company when I rang them what I perceived the damage to be, which was a dent in the front passenger wing and the trim on the front of the car was hanging off. When the autorepairer dismantled the front of my car he said it needed a new headlight (it was cracked inside), a new wing, new trim and a new grill. I’m glad I wasn’t travelling any faster!

The mobile repairer arrived on 25th at 9.20 a.m. and much to MWM’s amazement drove his van onto our drive and assembled a sort of awning from the top of the van, this was where he sprayed the new wing. He then proceeded to dismantle the wing, headlight and trim on the front of the car and fitted the new headlight and the new wing, once the paint had dried. This took him all day and MWM supplied him with endless cups of tea.

The week before my accident MWM had managed to scrape the back wing of the car on some gates and he asked the repair man if he could possibly touch up the scratches when he’d finished, offering to pay of course as it was nothing to do with the accident damage he’d come to repair. He said ‘no problem’ and did indeed touch them up making a good job of it too. When asked ‘how much do I owe you?’ he replied nothing, however MWM gave him £10 for his trouble, which he didn’t want to take but MWM insisted. How nice was that? So I have a good as new car againh

I haven’t heard anything from the insurance company and I haven’t had to pay any excess so I’m presuming that they have accepted that the accident was the fault of the taxi driver. So, as far as I am concerned, that’s it over and done with.

Of course I’ll let you know if I hear anything to the contrary.

Oh I forgot to say I won't be doing a Flash 55 this week as I'm off to spend the weekend with Queenie, so I won't be visiting you all until Monday evening after today's visits. Have a great weekend everyone and be good (or careful).

Some advice and truisms......

2009-09-28T06:00:00.000+01:00

I received this list of advice and thought I'd share it with you.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

6. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)

7. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

8. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

9. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

10. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. Embrace your differences. Love each other.

14. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

15. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

16. Opportunities always look bigger after they have passed.

17. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

18. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on...

19. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

20. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

21. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

22. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

23. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

24. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

25. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

26. You should not confuse your career with your life.

27. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

28.. Never lick a steak knife...

29. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

30. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

31. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

32. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

33. Your friends love you anyway.

34. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

35.. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 91 Going Home.....

2009-09-25T06:00:00.023+01:00

Charlie looked around.

He'd no idea where he was, or how he'd got there.

He must be in the same country, he'd only been in the car about two hours.

Eventually he spotted a landmark he recognised.

As he got to the door he heard......

"Come on Charlie, you're the best homing pigeon I've got!"

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Doctors......

2009-09-23T06:00:00.000+01:00

Real life doctors share their experiences......

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis, and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, St. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow.

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes, St.Thomas's Bath .

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.
'Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.'Which one ?'. . ... I asked. 'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it ! 'I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr.. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General.

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent .

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked, 'So how was your breakfast this morning? ''It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,' Bob replied.I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon. Bristol Infirmary.

7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
KGH London .Dr. wouldn't submit his name!

Results.......

2009-09-21T06:00:00.005+01:00

At long last here are the results of the

The Great Imagination Award #3

I asked you to vote on what you thought was the best/funniest comment in a southern accent on a post and you did in your ~~thousands~~ tens. It was a close run competion but it was also a tie so, I hereby bestow THE GREAT IMAGINATION AWARD #3 to the two people with the most votes. The award cannot be passed on it is just for you -

QUILLY &JULIA

Well done to you both and thanks for playing along, please take your award and I hope you will display it with pride.

Here are the winning comments fromt he two ladies.

Quilly said...

But Miss Akelamalu, I don't know nutin' bout no Southern accents!

Julia Smith said...

Lan' sakes, sugah. Yoh gunna hafta get a blawg that's just fah awawds.

Thanks to everyone else who played along, you're comments gave me a real chuckle and I couldn't choose betweeen you, which is why I copped out and asked for a vote.