Sprung.....

Spring that is, here in Lancashire.     This past week the weather here has been beautiful, sunny and warm(ish) for this time of year so MWM and I got to work tidying up the garden.  I thought I'd share a few photos with you of how it's looking at the moment and the blooms we're enjoying.


Here's my front lawn surrounded by daffodils, narcissus and polyanthus.

(click to biggify)

A close up of spring flowers which cheer me everytime I look out of the window or sit in my back garden.

Polyanthus

Narcissus and polyanthus

Golden Polyanthus

Golden Daffodil towering above it's cousins

A riot of colour

 This is my new glider where I sit enjoying my garden or reading.

We had lots of crocus in the lawns, which died off just before we cut the grass and there are lots of other plants springing up/budding to look forward to  i.e. tulips, peonies, lupins,  lillies, roses, azalea, clematis, acer, jasmine, budlea, nasturtiums, lavender and the lilac bushes.  I also have on order 160 summer flowering bulbs, which should be arriving anytime to plant out.   In the next week or two we plan to go to the garden centre to buy plants for the hanging baskets and troughs.  I love garden centres and always spend far too much because I can't resist what they have on offer.

Did I tell you I LOVE Spring and my garden?

Succinctly Yours - A Microfiction Meme #1........

In the absence of Susan at Stony River's Microfiction Monday Meme I am joining in Grandma's Goulash new microfiction Meme - Succinctly Yours.

Grandma provides a picture and a word prompt and the rules are use the photo as inspiration for a story of 140 characters OR 140 words.

Want more challenge? Use the word of the week in your story. This part is optional.

This week's word is CATER and here's the picture and my offering using both the picture and the word in 140 characters, including spaces and punctuation.

Ann’s search was over.

The cottage was the right size and price

but the main attraction was that it would cater to her dream of a sea view.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #157 Too noisy......

He couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.

What's the problem?

Those teenagers next door made lots of noise and he didn't complain.

And that baby next door by one, good grief, what a racket!

Just because it was 3am.

Maybe it would be better if I lived in the country.

"Cock-a-doodle-doo" he crowed.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Well that's Christmas over for another year.......

I know you're thinking "WTF is she on about?"   Well I'll tell you.


You may remember in October last year MWM and I went on the Lancastrian Diner on the East Lancs Railway for Sunday lunch and thoroughly enjoyed it.  You can read about it here.    A photograph of me being served my meal actually features in the brochure for the event, you can see it here on page 4, I'm wearing a red dress and you can see the various menus and special events they offer too.  

Anyway, we were showing the brochure to M&FIL and as we couldn't decide what to buy them for Christmas we asked them if they would like to experience lunch on a Steam Train as their Christmas present, to which they answered yes.    Unfortunately the dining train only runs between March and December so they had to wait until last Sunday for their present.    As FIL is 93 years old and a bit infirm it wasn't feasible for them to go on their own so we went with them.


Here we are on the train just prior to enjoying a lovely lunch. 

Me and MIL

MWM and FIL

Here's the menu.

 

Cream of mushroom soup with crusty rolls & butter
~

Roast leg of lamb with mint sauce & pan gravy, Roast and New Potatoes,

Carrots and Broccoli

~

Apple & blackberry pie with fresh cream

~

Coffee and mints

We washed it down with a very nice bottle of Rioja, except MWM who had water because he was driving home, followed by coffee and mints .

We had a toast and wished each other a Happy Christmas, which caused some amusement to our fellow passengers within earshot as you might imagine.    M&FIL both said they'd had a wonderful day and thoroughly enjoyed themselves, of course we did too. 

Now what can we buy them this year?

An important lesson in life......

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

The re was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.   She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.  Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."   And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #156 The Big Race.......

He'd been looking forward to the big race.

The most important one on the calendar.

He'd practiced daily for months.

Round and round the track,

becoming faster and faster with each lap.

He was fit.

He was keen.

He was ready.

There was only one thing would stop him from winning today....

an overweight jockey.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

Want to be an MP?.....

A chap walked into the council office and said to the receptionist,




'I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an MP.'



The receptionist replied "certainly sir. Please fill in this form."



He was filling in the form OK until he came to the question, 'Are you circumcised?'



So he asked the receptionist - "Is that question necessary?"



She replied: "If you are circumcised you are not eligible"



He asked: "what difference would it make if he was circumcised?



She replied: "To become an MP, you have to be a complete prick."

Gifts galore.........

Once again I'm a very lucky gal!    I received yet another parcel of jewellery from the lovely, talented Bee (Empress Bee of the High Seas).    Bee makes this jewellery and  although she could quite easily open her own Etsy shop and sell it she prefers to gift it to her friends - I'm thrilled to be counted amongst them!

Here's what Bee's latest parcel to me contained....

(click on photos to bigify)

Pink beads and pearls - necklace, bracelet and earrings

and here's me modelling them

But wait, that's not all, there was another pair of silver globe filigree earrings in the packet too!

There's more......

Bee also sent me some Glass Charms, which I can use when entertaining friends.   They can each have a different coloured charm to hang around the stem of their wine glass so they will know which one is their's!

Isn't that a great idea and aren't they just lovely?

Thankyou Bee, once again, for your generosity and once again I say - YOU REALLY SHOULD OPEN AN ETSY SHOP!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #155 Dream Home.....

As she walked in the door she knew, this was her dream home.

It was an old house and though smelly, it had so much character,

It would have to be gutted but it would be fabulous once everything was finished.

New floors were imperative the floorboards were rotten.

The body was an unexpected find.

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

oUt Of tHe mOuThS ( or pencils) oF cHiLdReN........

I received the above in an email so just had to share.

If you're anything like me

you're peeing yourself laughing now aren't you?

Coincidence or just plain spooky?..........

I've been reading Crystal Jigsaw's new blog Marvelous Mable recently.   Her new blog is where she publishes a selection of true paranormal experiences sent to her by her readers.  Today's post on MM is an offering from MWM which I can vouch for as a true story.     Some may say it's coincidence, personally I find it very spooky and a bit frightening.   Pop over to Marvellous Mable and read MWM's guest post there and let CJ and me know what you think.

Microfiction Monday #44

Susan at Stony River hosts this fun theme each Monday, so do pop over and read the others who have signed Mr. Linky. The rules are thus:


Every Monday Susan will post a picture for the subject of your story. Microfiction means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop's fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer, including spaces and punctuation.


Here's today's picture and my contribution

The note, discovered behind her grandfather’s photograph,

told a very different version of his life to the heroic one Ann believed about him.

140 characters including spaces and punctuation

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #154 Accident....

She pulled up at the lights and felt the jolt as the car behind touched her bumper.

Getting out of the car she went to survey the damage.

Looking at the driver she beckoned him to take a look,

then stared in amazement as he drove in pursuit of her BMW...

as it was highjacked!

Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

How to be a gracious bitch.......

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.


Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!


A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!   Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'' 

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.   When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.''


Don't you just love it?