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Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Being British.....


Someone sent me the following recently and I just had to share it because it's SOOOOOOO true!

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry, a Turkish kebab or a Chinese take-away on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.


Oh and......


Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in Britain .. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.



Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.


Only in Britain ... would the Government make it a crime to sell bananas by the pound while the Prime Minister announces the birth weight of his son as 6lb 12oz.


Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.


Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.


NOT TO MENTION


... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue


... 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.


... 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.


... 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.


... 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.


... British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.


... 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.


... 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.


... A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A & E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.


... 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.


And finally.........In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


FLY THE FLAG!

46 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hey! i do some of those! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxo

buffalodickdy said...

Apparently, The good old USA is more like Great Britain than we would care to admit.... Seriously funny stuff today, dear! Hope you didn't get all that Christmas love out of your system- we need it all year long from you...

Gardener Greg said...

And to think I spent months tracing my heritage back to Great Britain. I am going with the minority angle this year saying that we are Britain-American. After all my ancestors did come from Great Britain. Very funny post.

Mark said...

Hi Akelamalu,
It is what makes us so interesting...well it must be as everyone wants to come here.

Come the revolution is what I say

Cheers Mark

Akelamalu said...

You must have British ancestors Bee :)

Plenty of love left yet Buffalo x

Welcome to my humble abode Greg - part British and proud of it eh?

Interesting Mark? Eccentric some would say! :)

Gledwood said...

Yes ONLY in this bloody country: tee-hee!

Hope you had an entertaining one!!

Ron said...

Morning Akelamalu~

Hysterical post!!!!

But I've got to tell you....this sounds VERY MUCH like America as well!

Tee-hee!

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas Day! Now...it's on to New Years!

Cheers,
Ron

Odat said...

Funny stuff...it goes on here too!
Hope you had a Merry Christmas!!!
Peace

Akelamalu said...

Well apparently not Gleds from the comments our friends over the pond are posting! :) I had a great time looking after everyone else that's why I'm relaxing now! x

Hi Ron, glad to hear it's not just us Brits! I had a great day thanks, hope your's was extra special m'dear. x

My Christmas Day wasn't as merry as usual Odat, after I'd fed the fammily, ferried Dad home and tidied up I only had time for one drink then it was bedtime! It was a good day though. :)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

What a wonderfully British post, Akelamal! Of course, we Yanks are guilty of many of the same weird exploits. Have a fun Boxing Day.

Akelamalu said...

British through and through me Nick, well apart from my Irish ancestry! ((wink)) You have a good Boxing Day too m'dear.x

julia said...

The last one about head injury while throwing up - LOL!!!

Flowerpot said...

I loved the last one! hope you are having a good time AK!

Bankerchick said...

Happy boxing day. Brother's wife is Canadian and Christmas crackers are a new part of our big family Christmas celebrations, DD1 pulled on a cracker thought to defective as Sil bent near and nearly "shot his eye out".

Akelamalu said...

Oh I've been on the Big White Telephone To God lot's of times Julia but not this Christmas - yet!

Quiet day today Flowerpot but we're off out tonight! :)

Akelamalu said...

Bankerchick crackers can be dangerous! Dad and FIL pulled one yesterday and knocked all the wine glasses flying! Hope your Boxing Day is going great too!

snowelf said...

Oh my goodness...I wonder what our stats are over here for some of those things! :)

--snow

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my Lord. They are all so true.
Thanks for the giggles.

Happy Boxing Day. :D

Tot's Mom said...

First time here. Funny post with some interesting facts. Provided much needed giggles after a holiday hangover!

Elween said...

"British wonders" i would call. haha... how many actually did it happen to you? :)

Anndi said...

Guess Canada's still a lot like the "homeland" LOL!

Hope your Boxing Day was better than mine hehehe!

CG said...

LOL, it's great to be British!!

Dumdad said...

Yep, I'm proud to be British even if I don't actually live there!

Smalltown RN said...

OH I think there are a lot of stores here who are guilty of the pharmacy being in the back of the stores....or the buying of double hamburger and diet coke....this did put a smile on my face.....have a great day....

Mags said...

That's pretty funny, but some of those people in America do too!

cathy said...

I hate word verification.
Loved the post though.
Happy Holidays.

Little Wing said...

I loved these!
Just proves people are more alike than didderent!

CS said...

Oddly enough, I re-read these substituting "Only in America" and most of them fit. It's a small world, after all.

Mimi Lenox said...

That was a fascinating and entertaining read. Thanks, sweetie.

Miss Understood said...

Thank God it's all over! I hope you had a wonderful, pain-free time!

Dave said...

These stats are unbelievable! lol

Have a great New Year! :-)

Akelamalu said...

I bet someone has totted them up somewhere Snowelf!

Cheers Jo x

Welcome Tot's Mom, glad you enjoyed your visit. :)

Ooo none of those have happened to me Elween ((wink))

What happened on Boxing Day Anndi???

It certainly is CG!

That's great Dumdad! :)

Happy I made your smile RN x

I'm pretty sure these things happen all over the world Mags. Thanks for dropping by. :)

Thanks Cathy glad you enjoyed it. :)

Yep we're all pretty much the same little wing!

It is a small world CS without a doubt! :)

You're welcome Mimi. x

It was both wonderful and pain free Miss U x

Welcome Dave, not sure how true they are but they make funny reading! :)

MarmiteToasty said...

What a very funny but true post lol......

I LOVE being British...... :)

(((ake))))oxo

Akelamalu said...

I do too Marmie! :)

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Those are hilarious, but awfully relevant on this side of the pond, too. I guess we all have more in common than we think!

Dan Mega said...

Diet Coke? Yuck!

Pepsi for the win!

Akelamalu said...

I think it might be a world wide thing Correspondent! :)

Hi dan mega thanks for dropping by. :)

Nea said...

HAHA, well the best advice is always to be able to laught at ourself....so I guess by your posting this, you have a keen sense of humor. I think many of these accidents happen here in the south also.........not to mention getting your nipple bit off while nursing your infant while driving your truck with one hand and drinking a beer with the other.........and going over a bump.....

Akelamalu said...

That really happened to you Nea????? LOL

TopChamp said...

umm.. I've tried the battery on your tongue thing.. Happy New Year x

Akelamalu said...

And Topchamp? :)

GEWELS said...

Oh you brits are such cards!!
Thanks for the laugh.
And I also order double cheeseburgers large fries and Diet coke.

TopChamp said...

it's funny - makes your tongue tingle. But now I know you can die doing it I'll not be testing one again......

Akelamalu said...

We do try Gewels, or should that be we are 'trying'? :)

I'm glad you tried it first then Topchamp, I'll give it a miss! ((wink))

elena jane said...

lol, not sure if it's okay to laugh at that, not being british and all!! tho some of those i bet cross the atlantic ;)

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