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Friday, 16 November 2007

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #1 The Last Kiss

This is my first attempt at 55 Flash Fiction - I hope you like it, let me know what you think.


The last kiss.


Kiss me she said, just one last time.
He kissed her tenderly.




I’m too young to die.
You will remember to bring me flowers every week won’t you?



And you won’t forget me ever?





Don’t be silly darling, he said,
The tooth will be out before you know it and then you can come home!

40 comments:

Queenie said...

Well done you, great 55.

buffalodickdy said...

When I started reading it, I thought "Oh Brother, girlie mush!" Then the turn came and I chuckled! Very good!

Dave said...

What a great little play on words and feelings. I like this.
Thank YOU.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i don't know what it is. is it a meme or something?

smiles, bee

RUTH said...

That's brilliant. Having a bit of a phobia about dentists I understand this only too well :o)
Rx

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Queenie x

Glad you liked it Buffalo :)

Oh Cheers Dave. :)

No really a Meme Bee. You have to write a story in exactly 55 words which much have at least one character.

Aw thanks for the encouragementRuth x

MONA said...

LOL! That was so funny! I really loved the twist in the end!

Wonderful 55. Welcome to the world of 55ves!

ann said...

great debut 55

I only ever got round to doing
the one... it's a bit like the
writing prompts I should use,
but since I never know what day
of the week it is!!!!!

have a great weekend

Akelamalu said...

Oh thankyou Mona, that means a lot after having read yours! Thanks for droping by. x

Cheers Ann, I'm flattered. :)

barman said...

Very well done. I think you will find the hardest thing is finding something to write about. After that, it is pretty easy. I think you are a natural.

ciara said...

well you are lot braver than i am! great 55. it kind of reminded me of new planet. http://new-planet.blogspot.com he just had an extraction done lol

Akelamalu said...

Why thankyou barman, how nice of you and thanks for dropping by x

Cheers Ciara I'll take a look at new planet. x

Charles said...

:) I like your 55. Great start, you'll do these well, I can tell.

Akelamalu said...

You're too kind Charles but I thank you. :)

Sophia said...

That's great...and for your first time! Very very great! :)

Pauline said...

Great debut 55 Akela, well done you!

Akelamalu said...

Thankyou Sophia and Pauline :)

lime said...

lol, nicely done! terrific first entry!

Akelamalu said...

Thank you kindly Lime :)

Mother of Invention said...

I've never heard of or seen these! I wonder who makes them all up? Anyway, this is a neat one!

Akelamalu said...

Glad you like it MOI :)

G-Man said...

Any friend of Queenies and Ann, is a friend of mine!! Great 55, please keep playing!!...Galen

Nea said...

haha....I think I get the idea of flash fiction, and I think you did a great job. It was funny too......gave me a chuckle.

Dumdad said...

Neat sting in the tail. I enjoyed this.

Miss Understood said...

I hate the dentist.

That was a great 55...especially as it had a twist at the end. Well done :)

Akelamalu said...

Welcome G-Man thanks for dropping by. I will try again next week! :)

Glad you had a laugh Nea :)

Thanks dumdad x

Me too Miss U glad you enjoyed the twist. xx

Bankerchick said...

Well this looks like fun!

Akelamalu said...

It is Bankerchick, might you have a go?

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

First-rate job: romantic, intense, heartrending—and hilarious!

S said...

Ohhhhh man can I ever relate to this 55, LOL! But then by now you have already read my 55 and you know why.
Hilarious!
Welcome to 55 Flash Fiction Friday!

Travis said...

Nice little twist. I liked it.

Elween said...

ha, you made me feel romantic for a while and suddenly, it ended like this...good job done..ahha :)

Akelamalu said...

Thankyou saintly nick, glad you enjoyed it. :)

LOL great minds think alike eh Susie! I'm hooked now! :)

Thanks Travis x

Exactly the response I was hoping for Elween, glad you enjoyed it. x

voicebox said...

Bravo Akelamalu!!!!

Clever and ingenous of you!

(clap,clap,clap)

This is too cool!

Ciao,
Ron

Mimi Lenox said...

Didn't see that coming. The mark of a great writer. Well done. Keep at it.

CG said...

LOL

Akelamalu said...

Thanks for the applause Ron, you're very kind. x

Why thank you Mimi that's praise indeed coming from one of the best writers in the blogosphere! xx

Glad you had a laugh cg :)

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee.
Typical man.

Akelamalu said...

Quite Jo :)

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