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Thursday, 8 November 2007

Dad's Dilema.....

Dad had to go into hospital yesterday, just for the day, to have a transfusion because he is anaemic. Now Dad has smoked since he was twelve years old, no amount of cajoling, pressure or anything else, from anyone including doctors, will convince him to give up and he wasn’t looking forward to being hooked up to a drip for umpteen hours without being able to have a fag!
He rang me at 5 p.m. to tell me he had just come home, so I went to see him.

“How did you get on today at the hospital Dad?” I asked

“I was asleep most of the day because I was bored and I couldn’t have a cigarette” he told me.

“So you didn’t have a cigarette all day?” I said “That’s good, perhaps you can give up?”

I knew what the answer would be, and I can’t repeat it here, and what he told me next had me laughing so much I could hardly breathe, you couldn’t make it up honestly! Here’s what happened……


Dad had been hooked up to a drip and a BP monitor all day and a couple of times during the day he had asked the nurses if they could unhook him from the drip so he could go outside for a cigarette, but of course they refused which is why he was asleep most of the day because it takes the craving away. At 4.30 p.m ish he awoke and noticed that the drip had finished so he called the nurse over to ask if she would unhook him as he needed the toilet. She said she couldn’t do that as she needed to put some saline through but she could unhook him from the BP monitor and would walk him to the toilet carrying the drip whilst he leaned on his stick (he needs a hip replacement remember). Whilst Dad did need the toilet, what he really wanted was to then be able to go outside for a smoke – this had scuppered his plan!

Once in the toilet the nurse hooked the drip bag on the coat hook on the door and told Dad to pull the help-cord when he was finished so she could help him back to his bed. As soon as she’d gone Dad lit up a cigarette having realised that this was probably the only toilet in the entire hospital not displaying No Smoking signs. After the initial rush of the nicotine he undid his trousers and tried to sit on the toilet but, because of his hip and the toilet being so low, he couldn’t get down that far, eventually in desperation he just fell on the toilet and finished his cigarette.

When he’d finished his cigarette and his ablutions he found that he had no support apart from his stick to heave himself off the seat, and he remonstrated with himself for smoking and getting himself into such a predicament. Eventually he noticed a sort of bar swinging from the ceiling but being unsure as to its purpose he gave it a couple of tugs before he felt confident enough that it would support his weight. Once assured, he tried to pull himself up using the bar and his walking stick for support. Alas it wasn’t working. He then decided if he held onto the bar and jerked himself up he could get himself into a standing position – it worked, but unfortunately as he stood his pants dropped to his ankles! By this time he said he was breathless and couldn’t do anything apart from lean on his stick and hang on to the pole. After what seemed like an eternity he managed to pull his pants up with his stick and get them fastened and holding the drip bag aloft he ventured out of the cubicle leaning heavily on his stick.

Scanning the room for the help-cord he realised that it was over the other side of the room and his hip was hurting so much he couldn’t face the trek so he began trying to hook the cord with his stick. He got the cord swinging and as it ‘flirted’ wildly by he made a grab for it managing to catch and pull it at the same time. All this for a cigarette he remonstrated with himself, but it had taken him so long that all tell-tale signs smoke and smell-wise had dissipated, thankfully.
Within a few minutes the nurse had come to help him back to his bed.

“Are you OK Mr D, you’ve been a long time” she asked.

“Don’t ask, luv, just don’t ask” he replied.

30 comments:

CG said...

Oh what a great story! Your day sounds like one in a million. I laughed so hard...bless him!!

Nea said...

Oh my gosh what a he won't go through for a cigarette.......I wonder if I would do the same for a cup of coffee. haha

Smalltown RN said...

oh that is just to funny..what some patients will do for a smoke...I got a very funny picture in my head of your dad in the loo reaching for whatever it was to help support him...and the cubicle being somewhat small....oh those naughty patients....

ciara said...

i just lmao after reading this...i'm sure my dad would probably have done the same thing. hard to break them off a 50+ yr habit, eh? my dad's been told many times to quit...but no, the man smokes about 3 or 4 packs a day..no lie.

Mauigirl said...

Hi, thanks for your comment on my blog! I love the story about your dad. My mom, who is almost 89, is a lifelong smoker too, although she started a little later (in her 20s). Luckily she has always been very healthy and never been hospitalized except to have me. I don't know how she'd handle not being able to smoke for a day - let alone longer!

Peace to you too!

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh my, he is a character! What a story!

Misty Dawn said...

Oh my gosh - he truly sounds like my type of guy ;-) I've been a 'closet' smoker for so long, that I can't even remember who knows I smoke and who thinks I don't LOL. You did a great job of retelling your dad's story - I think that I would truly enjoy meeting this man - I bet it would be something I would never forget and never regret.

RUTH said...

What a great story...I knew a 96 year old woman once who had smoked since she was a girl. The doctor told her she should give up...I never knew an elderly lady would know the type of language that came out of her mouth!!!
Lovely Peace Post btw
Rx

Elween said...

do whatever you can to stop him from smoking!! smoking will kill him (pardon me) slowly, try get some experts for some help or by medication. he gotta stop it seriously.

Miss Understood said...

What a fantastic story, and obviously a fantastic man! Thanks for giving me a huge smile this morning :)

Flowerpot said...

as an ex-smoker myself I know exactly what some of us would go though to get a smoke!

buffalodickdy said...

I've never smoked, and sometimes I forget what a hard time smokers have when in "non-smoking" situations. They can be very inventive and focused- as your father demonstrated!

Queenie said...

10 out of 10 for his courage, I had to giggle...

Gledwood said...

Dear ME! That sounds all to familiar ;->...
I remember vividly, and surely we've all seen the same things... people hooked up to drips anxiously taking the lifts down with their packs of B&Hs and lighters then standing under the balcony fagging it away... terrible stuff... which reminds me I'm dying for a fag myself...

Akelamalu said...

He was laughing himself as he was telling me cg, though he said it wasn't funny at the time! :)

Yep, there's no obstacle too high to keep Dad from his cigarettes Nea!

This story is probably nothing new to you smalltown rn being a nurse. :)

I suppose after smoking for 70 years it would be a 'bit' difficult for Dad to give up Ciara. I struggled after 20 years!

Your Mum was a late starter then compared to Dad Mauigirl ;) Thanks for stopping by.

He definitely is a character Mimi!

You'd love him Misty Dawn - everybody does! :)

That's the only thing that gets Dad annoyed Ruth doctors telling him to stop smoking - he really loses his rag! Glad you like the Peace post. x

Thanks for your concern Elween but at 83 almost there's absolutely no way Dad is going to give up smoking. xx


I had to share Miss U it made me laugh so much. I'm glad I conjured up the pictures! :)

I'm an ex smoker too flowerpot and I know if you smoke and you want a fag nothing, but NOTHING stands in the way! :)

Inventive and focused - definitely also crafty and single minded Buffalo! :)

Now don't you be getting any ideas for when you go in for your op Queenie - you promised you would give up! x


Oh yes, Gleds I've done it myself - though it was a long time ago. :)

Cream said...

Naughty, naughty, funny story, Akela.
A couple of years ago, when Papa was about 82 or 83, he gave up smoking just like that.
I congratulated him and asked if he'd given up for his health.
His answer made me laugh:
"I can no longer afford to smoke."

Akelamalu said...

Dad relies on his three children and 8 grandchildren going abroad for their holidays and bringing a suitcase of cigarettes back for him now Cream!

Pauline said...

This just goes to show what true determination (or total desperation) can achieve!

Diana Joy said...

I HAVE SOOOOO BEEN THERE!! LOL
NOT TO SMOKE...BUT, TO JUST GET A SIP OF A SODA! THEY TAKE THE SODA AWAY FROM ME EVERYTIME I GO IN AND OOOHHHHH THE CAFFENE HEADACHS!!!
HOPE YOUR DAD IS FEELING BETTER SOON :)
LOVE,
DIANA JOY

la bellina mammina said...

That's a funny one. How naughty your daddy is:-)

Akelamalu said...

Doesn't it just Pauline! :)

It's cruel Diana Joy taking your soda's away! Great to see you honey. x

He is Bella, very naughty! :)

Mother of Invention said...

All for a cig! Oh, banish cravings for your dad!

Akelamalu said...

I know MOI, even Dad said it was ridiculous for the sake of a cig :)

GEWELS said...

Too funny! and even after all that he still smokes.

MarmiteToasty said...

ROTFLMRSSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fink I love your dad LOL

x

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh bless his little heart! poor thing!

we are home now. thanks so much for your visits and comments while we were gone, you kept me smiling!

smiles, bee

Akelamalu said...

Oh yes Gewels NOTHING will stop my Dad smoking!

I think you would Marmie - he's a doll!

Ah welcome back Bee, I've missed you. xx

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elena jane said...

lol, what a man won't do for a smoke...;-)

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