Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Touch typing.........

In the recent meme I did "Get to know me even more..." I listed ten things which you might not know about me, one of which is the fact that I can touch type 80 wpm.

This seemed to be something a lot of you would like to do, so go to the link below and learn how to do it online

You can start off with Keyboard lessons - this shows you where to position your fingers to start, so then all you have to do is move your fingers either up or down to reach all the letters. There are five lessons.

Then you can move onto numberpad lessons.

Once you've got the hang of that you can do the practice lessons with words or numbers. And finally the speed tests. The speed test tells you how many words per minute you typed and highlights your errors.

It's fun and you can learn at the same time.

And Just for a laugh......

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."


My knee
Tuesday 15th May
Feeling good.


talj said...

LOL love the driving one! :o) Glad to read your knee is doing well :o) I'm off to see my surgeon on Thursday. He referred me for urgent physio 3 months ago. Apparently I needed it before my surgery would be allowed as my leg is very weak...3 months on I am STILL on a waiting list and will return to see him on Thursday in exactly the same state that I saw him 3 months's hoping he sorts things out properly this time!!!

Akelamalu said...

Are you having a knee replacement? I wasn't offered any physio apart from a sheet of exercises, I think that's why it's taking so long to get right.

It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Thanks for the info about the typing information. I have a friend here in Ga that has quite the time with typing. I sent her the link. Nope, you do not have to do that silly meme again. Thanks for stopping by...Sandy

Autumn said...

Wow 80 wpm I am impressed. I went to the typing test page. Uhhhh I found that I am slow and mis-spell things. I use to do much better when I was in chat rooms, but have got lazy over the years.
Thanks for the jokes, they made me smile

Akelamalu said...

I hope your friend finds it useful Sandy. Thanks for letting me off with the meme. :)

Akelamalu said...

Ah you need more practice1 ;) Glad you enjoyed the jokes.

Queenie said...

Show-off, I'm down there with the snails..

Akelamalu said...

queenie - get practising then! :)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

great jokes today! i type pretty good, but slower on my laptop, the keys are so little... thanks for the practice link, i will try it!

smiles, bee

Cream said...

I can touch type slowly about 30 words a minute... Any faster and the language beocmes frojeign and nboody udnrsentdas waht I'm on aoubt.
Had a good giggle at the lottery joke.
Just noticed your Slide photos. Akelamalu, you look great!
Lucky MWM!

Akelamalu said...

Bee I have the same trouble on a laptop. Glad you liked the jokes.

Akelamalu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Akelamalu said...

Sometimes my typing looks like that if I start with my fingers on the wrong keys!
Thank you kind sir for the compliment. :)

Josh said...

Ha. Those are great.

My wife needs to go to that site. Her "pecking" drives me crazy.

GEWELS said...

Those are great- Thanks for a much needed laugh!!

I took typing in high school but I took the dummy class. It was me and ALL the football players. I passed -even though on my final I put the carbon paper in backwards and the copy ended up on the back of the original.

I was such a ditz. No comments from the peanut gallery please

Love your photo display in the sidebar- how DID you do that? I want one.

GEWELS said...

OH! Duh! now I see the "make your own" on the sidebar. I guess I'll just have to read the directions.

Akelamalu said...

Josh - Aw, I'm gonna tell her what you said!!

Gewels Glad you had a laugh. Carbon paper aye easy done! Life's a lot easier now thanks to word processors! :)
Was just about to explain about the 'make your own' but you found it.

david santos said...

Thank you for Madeleine.

Akelamalu said...

David Madeleine is in my prayers.

Danielle said...

I checked out the link I can do 51 words per minute.

"Early Bird" said...

You must be feeling good judging from your jokes!

This Eclectic Life said...

Bwahahah! Those jokes had me falling out of the chair! I'll skip the typing part. I don't know how fast I type, but it works for me. Since I'm a "storyteller," it only matters how fast I can talk lol.

Miss Understood said...

Fantastic jokes!! Still giggling!

MarmiteToasty said...

:) when I worked for the Ministry all those years ago, I was the fastest touch typist and its on record somewhere I broke the record at 180 words a minute...... it seems impossible today though.... :) they dont teach kids in schools to touchtype anymore, they dont even have typing lessons lol....... my lads stand gobsmacked when I type on the computer lol

fanks for the funny jokes :)


la bellina mammina said...

Thanks for the tip!

And the jokes too - needed that!

RUTH said...

Great jokes! Thanks for the laugh. Glad the knee's having a good day.

Akelamalu said...

Well done you, and thanks for dropping by. :)

Early Bird
Yes but thank goodness I've never lost my sense of humour - even when the pain was BAD!

That is so true! :)

Miss U
Glad you had a laugh honey! :)

That's really impressive. I got to about 120 in my heyday (a loooong time ago!). You are right though about them not teaching touch typing anymore, hell they don't even teach them how to spell correctly these days!! Thanks for dropping by. :)

la bellina mammina
You're welcome darling.

There's nothing quite like a good laugh is there? Thanks for the good wishes. x

CG said...

Thanks for the typing link...will try it! Great joke too :)

Linda said...

Thanks for the great laughs and I'm so glad to hear that your knee is feeling good!

Akelamalu said...

It's good fun but can become a bit addictive as you try to better your score. Glad you enjoyed the jokes. :)

Akelamalu said...

Glad you had a laugh, thanks for the good wishes. x

somebody said...