Sunday, 20 May 2007

Exam Answers.....

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth

Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him.

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burn to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.

In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.

During the Renaissance, history began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America whilst cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.

One paper was completely empty apart from one sentence.

“ Jesus, Please Help Me.”


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

beethovan is my favorite!! ha ha ha

great post...

smiles, bee

GEWELS said...

These are priceless!!!!
Especially the last one!

"Early Bird" said...

A myth is a female moth

Love it!! :)

letha said...

I like the last one, maybe if I had used that on my psycho-social exam I would have been given a slightly better pass mark.

I did pass by the way, only I couldn't remember the answer to the psychology question so only answered the sociology one.

RUTH said...

Thank you so much...I haven't giggled for a while...I am now.

mrsnesbitt said...


Queenie said...

Smarty pants. RE our chat, deed done see if it gets published!!!

la bellina mammina said...

LOL! Thanks for making my day a bit better! :-)

Catch said...

Ha Ha.....very cute! Thanks for the giggle!

Akelamalu said...

So glad you all had a good laugh! :)

steve said...

'Travelled by Camelot" -perfect!

Akelamalu said...

You couldn't make them up could you?!

Carol said...

I work for a university and one of the Geography lecturers gave me a classic. The answer on one of his exam papers was.

Trees are planted along the edges of fields to break wind!

Akelamalu said...

Oh that's a good one! Welcome back, where've you been?

Carol said...

Busy busy busy at Work. Got my promotion and NOW they are making me 'earn' my payrise!! Except I had already earned it!!! Oh well

Akelamalu said...

Oh work stinks! Hope you get a bit more time soon to blog, I drop by every day hoping you will have posted.

somebody said...