Monday, 24 March 2008

Doctor, Doctor......

If you read my 55 on Friday it illustrates how some of our doctor's surgeries are run these days. MWM has just changed his doctor to the same one I see, because trying to get an appointment to see his doctor was an absolute farce.

I think the last time MWM saw a doctor was over three years ago, just before he retired – he has Hypertension but it is under control and he only has to have his BP checked every six months, other than that he is never ill. However, recently he wanted to see a doctor regarding a minor matter and his old surgery has introduced a new appointments system since he last saw a doctor.

At his old surgery one has to start ringing at 8.15 a.m. to try to get an appointment with a doctor and invariably, if/when you get through, all the appointments for that day are already booked. OK, no problem, you may be thinking, just make an appointment for another day. No can do! You have to start ringing at 8.15 a.m. the following day, and so on, and so on. MWM went to the surgery and asked to make an appointment with a doctor, not a particular doctor, any doctor.

“Ring in the morning” said the receptionist.

“I don’t want to ring in the morning, I’m here now and I want to make an appointment” said MWM.

“You can only make an appointment like this for two weeks in advance and all the appointments are taken” she said.

“OK give me an appointment in three weeks then” suggested MWM.

“No can do, you will have to come back in two weeks and make an appointment for two weeks ahead” she told him “or ring in the morning to try to get an appointment for that day”.

“Thank you for your help” replied MWM sarcastically “I’ll change doctors!”

So he went to my doctor’s surgery and registered there. He could have seen a doctor that day if he’d wanted, but he decided to wait a couple of days until he had a full medical check-up (mandatory for new patients).

My doctors have an open surgery every morning – there are three doctors on duty at any one time, you just go in and wait your turn and see a doctor of your choice, Or you can make an appointment when it’s convenient for you, if not that day then the following day. They have also introduced a service whereby you can order repeat prescriptions ‘online’, to be sent to a pharmacy of your choice for you to collect. You can also book appointments to see the doctor of your choice ‘online’, and you can even book ‘telephone appointments’, where the doctor will ring you to discuss your problem. You can see a doctor whenever is convenient for you – now call me old fashioned but isn’t that what an NHS doctor’s surgery is supposed to be like – geared to the patient? MWM is very impressed.


Don't you just wish you had the nerve to do what this old man did....

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said,

"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said,

"You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied;

"Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied,

"You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.


Gledwood said...

That is classic!

Elween said...

ha, that's so embarassing!! haha. "i can't piss from my ear too..." :)

gosh...sorry about it...thanks for your faithfulness for visiting my blog though you can't log in...i don't know what's wrong and cannot solve it too..:(

Sandy said...

I just loved that! ROTFLMAO!!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

That is too funny! Ha!

storyteller said...

Hmmm … even with a magnifying glass I couldn’t make out the caption on the cartoon. I do ‘relate’ to the ‘doctor appointment’ issues in today’s post. It’s such a ‘catch-22’ these days. Thanks for the laughter … that’s a wonderful anecdote!
Hugs and blessings,

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

laughing so hard!!!!

smiles, bee

Akelamalu said...

I thought so too Gleds. :)

I'll keep visiting Elween, hopefully I'll be able to get on at some point!

Welcome Sandy, glad you enjoyed it. :)

It made me chuckle too RC :)

It says "Try to stay off your feet until after the baby's born" Storytelly. You're right it is a catch 22 situation at the doctors these days.

So glad you had a chuckle Bee x

ciara said...


and good for mwm leaving those people full of, what a famous guy here name diddy calls, bitchassness! i'm gonna be doing a post on this soon lol

Flowerpot said...

that's brilliant Ak, loved it!

buffalodickdy said...

Monty Python had a skit something like that years ago! Funny!

Dave said...

Doctors and appointments! I think that many of us know what you mean. It can ver so very frustrating.

Hey, that joke... Love it! LOL

Ron said...

WOW, Akelamalu...if I was MWM I'd be impressed too! Medical service is NOT like that in the US.

DO you remember housecalls????

Hey...and the joke is BRILLIANT, dear lady...I laughed my "ear" off!

Jeff B said...

Now that is one clever old guy. Bwahahahaha

citizen of the world said...

Good for that guy! That's very funny.

CG said...

LOL at the joke. Our doctors has a similar system to get appts but they've just changed it for the better, thank god!

Akelamalu said...

You're having the same problem Ciara? I'll look out for your post on the subject.

Pleased you liked it Flowerpot:)

I don't remember that skit and I'm an avid Monty Python fan Buffalo. Could be my memory's failing though, I am getting old now! :)

The problem seem to be a global one doesn't it Dave?

Housecalls are a thing of the past here Ron, unless you are actually dying!

I thought he was smart too JeffM :)

I wish I had the guts to do it Citizen :)

I imagine you're happy they've changed the system CG, it's totally ridiculous.

Miss Understood said...

That was enough to make my ribs hurt :)

Don't even get me started on doctors, Ak. I'm in the same position with the same surgery, and Rob has a different one wher he can get seen immediately. Trouble is, I really really like my doctor, and I don't want to lose him, so I'm a bit reluctant to swap.

By the way...I LOVE the song brings back so many memories.

acey said...

hahaha. gotta love the man!

by the way, you look so pretty in your slideshow pictures on the right. =D

elena jane said...

hope your doc works out much better :) sad that the other office is so behind...

Akelamalu said...

I don't understand these surgeries that make it difficult for patients to see the doctor - that's what they're there for for Gods sake - I can understand you not wanting to change if you really like your doctor though Misss U. Glad you liked the joke. :)

Why thank you Acey, you're very kind. x

MWM is very impressed now he's changed to my surgery Elena. I would think if the other surgery keep losing patients they will have to change their system somewhat.

bindhiya said...

Dear Akelamalu,
That's Great!
I got a good laugh!
I change my baby's Dr. three times ):

♥ & ((hugs))

Linda said...

I rather doubt that it would be possible for me to get an appointment with my doctor on the same day I called unless there was some sort of dire matter and they tried to shoehorn me in between other patients. It seems like you just can't see a doctor when you're sick because they're so busy treating people who really aren't sick but who have had appointments months in advance!

I had to call today to make an appointment for Amanda to see her doctor for a mandatory 10th grade physical and they can't fit her in until May 16th - almost two months away! Ridiculous!

Loved the joke by the by!

Krimo said...

This appointment system is so irritating! I'm usually lucky. I call at around 9 in the morning and manage to see a doctor before 11.
Your joke is hilarious.
And I love your choice of songs.

the mother of this lot said...

Love it!

Nea said...

Getting into a Dr. here isn't a problem, finding one that ever does anything other than prescribe a new medication matter what is wrong with you, they have a pill for it, and unfortuantely they seldom work. If you have anything seriously wrong with you, you are a goner this county. That is the one thing I liked about living in Los Angeles, we had some good Dr.s.

Travis said...

Love the joke! Smug receptionists in the doc's office are annoying.

MarmiteToasty said...



Akelamalu said...

You have to have faith in your doctor when you have children Bindi, I don't blame you changing doctors until you found one you liked.

Quite Linda isn't it riduculous? Glad you enjoyed the joke.

You must have a doctor's surgery like mine Krimo, I never have a problem either. Pleased you liked the joke and the music. x

Thanks MOTL :)

That's really scary Nea you must just be praying your health doesn't get any worse! :(

Aren't they just Trav!

I take it you liked the joke Marmie? ;)

Cindy said...

I hope all the others applauded him! And I'm sure they wished they'd thought to do just the same thing.

Mimi Lenox said...

Too funny!And too true.

Akelamalu said...

I bet they did Cindy!

Thanks Mimi x

Julia Smith said...

(can't type...laughing too hard...)

Akelamalu said...

It did that to me too Julia! :)

Jo Beaufoix said...

I love that. Hee hee.

Our doctors are pretty good, but you do have to ring in the morning at 8.00am and the appointments are often gone by 8.11am. If it's 'an emergency' they will et you in though, and they always see children.

CrazyCath said...

That is absolutely brilliant! I was just trawling through and reading old posts to comment on your most recent one but this one merits a comment on it's own!

It's got me and hubby rolling with laughter. I think he might use it next time he's asked...

somebody said...