Wednesday, 26 March 2008

My Oath.......

It has been proposed that children in Britain should swear an oath of allegiance to enhance a shared sense of citizenship. I think it’s a great idea and have written the following for consideration.

What do you think?

Pledge of Allegiance

I swear allegiance to Britain.
I swear I will never jump a queue.
I swear to moan consistently about the weather, be it hot or cold.
I swear to criticise the Government (especially if I voted them in).
I swear to always question authority.
I swear never to leave my bag unattended at an airport or railway station.
I swear to recycle as much as I can, even if it can’t be recycled.
I swear to drink as many cups of tea as possible in one day.
I swear to always give directions to lost drivers with a smile.
I swear to keep the tradition of drinking warm beer.
I swear to speak in colloquialisms that foreigners cannot understand.
I swear to be anti-Europe forever.
I swear always to order things in pounds and ounces and not do metric in any way shape or form.
I swear to resist all efforts to make our currency the Euro and will start a campaign to bring back Pounds, Shillings and Pence.
I swear to complain about the amount of Tax I have to pay.
I swear to complain loudly about the price of petrol and car tax.
I swear never to use public transport as long as my car is in working order.
I swear to treat every celebrity (nonentity) with reverence.
I swear I will always watch the Queen’s/King’s speech on television on Christmas Day , (unless Star Wars is on the other side).
I swear to not allow anyone to criticise Britain (except other Brits).
And last but not least, I swear I am British and proud of it!
God Save The Queen/King.

Seriously now, I read the following suggested Pledge of Allegiance (written by someone called Sara in London – well done Sara) on the BBC website, and I feel that anyone living in our country should be willing to take it.

I pledge allegiance to the country that feeds me, that shelters me, that heals me, that educates my children. I promise to uphold the laws of this, my land, whether I was born to it, or chose to come here. I promise that, first and foremost, I will do no harm to any other citizen of this land, by action or inaction, and I hereby give my word.


Casdok said...

Very thoughtfully composed!!!! I like it!

MarmiteToasty said...

Oh cripes....... how come I am nodding me head at almost all of those 'swears' LMFAO........ to funny..... :P)


la bellina mammina said...


lettuce said...

now thats an interesting and very mixed list......some of them i'm proud to do...... many of them not so much!

Akelamalu said...

Thank you Casdok ((wink))

They just about sum up most of the idiosyncrasies of our great nation don't they Marmie :)

Amen indeed Bella x

All very tongue in cheek Lettie ;)

Anndi said...

Absolutely fantastic...

except the warm beer.

Sara did a wonderful job, too.

CG said...

Both excellent in their own very different ways!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

can the rest of us complain about the weather if we go there? ha ha

smiles, bee

Skittles said...

Wait a second? Warm beer? :)

I'm rounding up my favorite people's links. I wonder if that means you're one?


bindhiya said...

Shared sense of Citizenship and oath sounds good! I like the second oath!!!

♥ & ((hugs))

Mimi Lenox said...

I like both pledges. Yours is entertaining and the other poignant. Great post!

storyteller said...

Thanks for the chuckles. Laughter is healing as well as fun ;--)

The second oath seems to cover all the bases.
Hugs and blessings,

Dianne said...

change the tea to a latte and make the warm beer a cold Bud and it'll work here in the States ;)

Krimo said...

Akela, you definitely swear too much.
Wash your mouth with soap, girl!

Travis said...

I like the Sara pledge.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Oath #1 is humorous and probably unnecessary.

In my opinion I would modify other #2 just a bit to read: “I promise that, first and foremost, I will do no harm to any other citizen of this land or any other land…”

Miss Understood said...

Here here.


Flowerpot said...

keep swearing eh?!

buffalodickdy said...

A good pledge, if you don't want your country homogenzied into fast food restaurants, chain motels, "Franchise Row" malls and strip malls, and politically correct behavior at all times lest a thousand lawyers descend upon you...

The Rotten Correspondent said...

works for me!

Akelamalu said...

You don't like warm beer Anndi??? ;)

Cheers CG x

Of course you can Bee, everyone complains about the weather here! :)

Great to see you back Skittles x

I like the second oath too Bindi :)

Thanks Mimi - mine is silly! :)

Happy to make you smile Storyteller :)

We're not that different then Dianne? :)

I did swear quite a lot didn't I Krimo! :(

Me too Trav :)

Good idea Nick.

And so say all of us eh Miss U? L)

I really must stop mustn't I Flowerpot? :(

I think we're already there Buffalo! :0

Me too RC! :)

elena jane said...

agree with dianne, would fit here in the states minus the warm beer (and a few others, i rather like tea and drink far too much of it, tho lattes are good too...)

both are well done!! :)

david mcmahon said...

Really enjoyed that, Pearl - and the post title/ headline is perfect!

I also enjoyed your comment on my Ray-Ban post - just wondering if you'd care to post (in your inimitable style) about the purchase of the, er, Ban-Rays!!

How about it?

Jeff B said...

With a few minor substitutions, that might just work in the states too.

Julia Smith said...

I like these ones best:

'I swear to criticise the Government (especially if I voted them in).'


'I swear I will always watch the Queen’s/King’s speech on television on Christmas Day , (unless Star Wars is on the other side).'

Both seem absolutely solid to me.

Linda said...

Honestly? I like yours better and I bet it would be easier for others to uphold as most do that all the time anyway! With just a few phrase changes, this could be the Pledge of Allegiance for America! Especially the part about criticizing the government!

Catch said...

I think they all sound great Sweety...all but drinking that warm beer....I have to have ice cold beer , sometimes I even put ice cubes in mine!

girl with the mask said...

I think you have captured what it means to be British wonderfully- though I must point out that although the Brits should not complain about the weather, it is how every conversation with a stranger should begin. "Nice weather we've been having, eh?..." etc.

G.I.M x

lime said...

LOL, the first one is a riot. the second one quite sensible.

CrazyCath said...

Wonderful! I like all of yours but agree with other commenters that you seem to swear an awful lot!
Are you related to Swearing Mother? (link on my blog).

They are brilliant. All true. The reason our beer is warm in summer is because we are so used to the cold, we do not think of refrigerating the casks!

Over from David's btw. Great post.

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Elena :)

Glad you enjoyed it David, the Banrays could be a future post! ;)

I think it would probably work the world over with a few alterations Jeff :)

They just about sum us Brits up don't they Julia?:)

You really like mine Linda? Mind you if you like us Brits it just about sums us up!

Of course the weather is always the main topic of conversation here isn't it, and a good standby if you run out of something to say GIM?

You got it Lime!

Welcome Crazycath and you're right about the beer. I don't usually swear, well not unless I'm annoyred! :)

Akelamalu said...

Oh crikey I almost missed your comment there Catch! You have to drink warm beer in England it's the only way. You can have cold lager if you like!:)

San said...

David sent me over. I was one of your worthy runner-ups for Post of the Day.

Your oath would work pretty well in the US too. Except for the warm beer. That wouldn't fly here.

Happy Day!

Suburbia said...

I vote for both oaths!
Congrats on post of the day

Daryl E said...

I agree w/San your pledge would work perfectly with a few small tweaks for the US of A ... BUT I think it shouldnt just be for school kids.

David sent me but you're on my daily route anyway!

Smalltown RN said...

Some of your responses just made me smile...but seriously...I think it's a wonderful idea...but do you think it will have any impact?

starnitesky said...

Well done for post of the day. I really like your version! The other one is ok too and not a bad idea.

Akelamalu said...

Welcome San, thanks for dropping by. Everyone seems to think it would work for the US too - warm beer is definitely one of 'our' little peculiarities!

Thank you suburbia, and thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. :)

Hi Daryl I agree it shouldn't be just for schoolchildren but it would be a good start. Thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

If they started with schoolchildrena and it was instilled from an early age then yes it might have some impact. I think all immigrants should be made to take a pledge of allegiance and if they break it they should be sent back to whence they came. I don't think that is too much to ask do you RN?

Mine was very tongue in cheek starnitesky, just a skit at myself and my fellow Brits really but I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for stopping by. :)

Nea said...

I love all things British,,,,,always have gravitated that way. I remember I stayed up all night to watch Prince Charles and Diana's wedding. I was so sad the way things turned out. I watch all the British Mysteries and Comedy......but can't eat Marmite, I tried. haha I like tea!!!!! :):):)

Akelamalu said...

You don't like Marmite Nea?????? Actually there are more people who don't like it than do! I love it. Charles & Diana's wedding was a fairytale wasn't it? Pity it came to such a sad ending. :(

Jo Beaufoix said...

Yours was hilarious, and Sarah's was perfect. It worried me a little, the idea of a pledge of allegiance, but Sarah's is perfect, it's so respectful and inclusive. I love it.

Akelamalu said...

Mine was just a skit at us Brits but I really liked Sarah's too Jo. :)

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