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Thursday, 20 March 2008

Out of the mouths of babes.......



These are some of the things junior school children wrote about the sea


1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head.(Billy age 8)

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7).



Don't you just love 'em?

29 comments:

Flowerpot said...

They're great - all of them. Particularly the last one - got me roaring!!!

citizen of the world said...

Those are a hoot!

Miss Understood said...

They're fantastic! I particularly like: I'm not going to talk about the sea. She'll go far, I'm sure!

buffalodickdy said...

Those are great!

James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

lol, those were great. Thanks for the laugh.:D

storyteller said...

Yes, I do love them all! Thanks for sharing these marvelous ‘gems’ … I’m sure I’ll be chuckling for a while over this list. They’re all hilarious, but methinks #3 will sick with me (for some reason) though #s 7 and 12 are pretty funny too! LOL
Hugs and blessings,

Trac said...

No 9 - Brilliant! :O)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i had to read this to sarge cause i was laughing so much he wanted to know what was so funny! thanks...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ron said...

Oh my God, Akelamalu...these were FABULOUS!!!

It started my day off with a great laugh!

#12 is my favorite!

Thank you for sharing these, dear lady!

Dave said...

Thanks for a good laugh! A great way to start my day! LOL

Smalltown RN said...

those are just priceless....yes kids do say the darndest things....oh and a very happy birthday to your grandson...he is a dapper fellow...

Akelamalu said...

That one made me snort too Flowerpot :)

I thought so too Citizen.

She obviously needed to get a lot off her chest Miss U!

Glad you like Buff x

You're welcome James :)

I'm an island at the moment Storyteller! Thankfully I think #12 was said in all innocence! :0

She told it like it is didn't she trac?

I'm please you and Sarge got a good laugh out of it Beex

#12 is a corker I agree Ron!

Start the day with a laugh and you won't go far wrong I say Dave!

Don't you just love 'em RN? Thanks for the birthday wishes for Kai. x

acey said...

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

haaaaaaaaaaahahahah!!! so cute!

thank you for sharing, akelamalu!!! i love it when kids share. hehehe.

Linda said...

Poor little Emily Richardson!

These were just so cute, I love the things that sometimes comes out of kids' mouths!

Julia Smith said...

I thought I had my favorite one picked out - until I read #12.

Travis said...

Those are silly!

Akelamalu said...

They're so funny aren't they Acey?

Me too Linda :)

It's a cracker isn't it Julia?

They certainly are Trav :)

Dianne said...

I love the 2 divers have to go down on each other! I love them all!

thanks so much for such an entertaining post.

ciara said...

lmao...kids do say the funniest things, that's what makes them so fun...until they grow up and become teens lol

CG said...

Do you know...I have often wondered how mermaids get pregnant myself! Does anyone know??

Nea said...

Well I have heard of a cold water douche....haha. I used to water ski, we always tried to fall with our legs together, wasn't always possible. sometimes you come up without a bathing suit!

These are cute, but I often wonder if kids really wrote them. Although I guess kids do write the funniest things. My kids were never this creative, and the boys hated to write, so they never wrote clever things. But ana used to come up with the doozies.....haha

the mother of this lot said...

My eldest daughter had to write about what she was grateful for. I think she meant to say 'Thank you God, for all the pennies' but it came out 'Thank you God for all the penis'.

The teacher had a sense of humour though. She wrote underneath
'And so say all of us'.

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed it Dianne :)

Mmmm, they do seem to lose their sense of humour at a certain age don't they Ciara!

Maybe they lay eggs CG!

I bet that was embarrassing - losing your swimsuit Nea?

That's a doozie MOTL! :)

Joe said...

Thanks for the laugh :-)

Akelamalu said...

You're welcome Joe thank you for stopping by. :)

lime said...

that's hilarious!

Misty Dawn said...

Oh my gosh - that is absolutely hilarious! I'm gasping for air over here.

Akelamalu said...

I know Lime :)

Breathe in, breathe out Misty LOL

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