Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Intelligent Blonde......

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'   St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'    St Peter looked at the blonde and said,

'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'


'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde. nnThis totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked

'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'

And lo, the blonde entered Heaven...


Valerie said...

Giggling... and there was me trying to remember the words to Waltzing Matilda.

Pranavam Ravikumar a.k.a. Kochuravi said...


Grandpa said...

And they always say blondes are... you know..
Frankly I didn't crack my head to try and get the answers, lol!
Nice one as usual, Akelamalu!

Linda said...

Andy he let her into heaven!

Who says that all blondes are dumb? Not this one!

Flowerpot said...


clean and crazy said...

i love it!!

MorningAJ said...

You know something? Whenever I start a sentence with 'And he..' K always says 'Who's Andy?'

And I still didn't get there ahead of you!

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

yes. they are all correct answers. they should have asked me! ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Gledwood said...

There was a competition on pirate radio saying how many seconds are in a year and I got it right bang on: twelve. I wasn't allowed to enter as the comp was aimed at women only, but it took them AGES to get it right, people calling in for the best part of an hour until that rather obvious answer came up. The guy had to keep saying "it's a riddle, it's a riddle" and nobody got it right for ages. All these answers like 12,329 coming up when it was 12 12 TWELVE!!

I love that today and tomorrow one.

Where did you get that joke from? That's genuis.

Daryl said...

thank goodness I read MorningAJ's comment or I wouldnt ever have gotten the joke .. DUH on me

Spiky Zora Jones said...

akelamalu: Wha hey...a Aussie hobo song. The blonde isn't really correct but close enough. :)

I loved the little story...and I'm gonna tell it to my son, soon as I sing the song to him of course.

thanks sweetie. xxx

Beach Bum said...

That was awesome! You got to figure St. Peter had to go tell the other angels.

Quilly said...

Too funny! Since Amoeba lived in AZ for years I asked him the Matilda question -- and he fell for it!

Shrinky said...

Haaaaaaaaaaa, oh she is so clever, she definitely deserved to enter heaven!

tony said...

It's Tough At The Top!

Akelamalu said...

Haha fooled ya Valerie LOL

Glad you enjoyed it Kochuravi

Ah well the old saying was wrong in this case Grandpa LOL

'Andy let her into heaven' - LOL good one Linda!

I thought so too Flowerpot x

I do too Clean&Crazy :)

Hehe it fooled you too eh AJ? ;)

Ah I knew you'd know the answers my clever Bee!

That's lateral thinking for you Gleds. I got the joke via email, good one isn't it? :)

Haha lucky you read the comments first eh Daryl ;)

I hope your little man likes the joke and the son Spiky :)

I'm sure he did Beach LOL

Was Amoeba mad that he fell for it Quilly? LOL

She sure did for those answers Shrinky!

Indeed it is Tony

nitebyrd said...

That blonde deseved her place in heaven! LOL

A Lady's Life said...

lol what can I say......sigh
Guilty. lol

Dave said...

Great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥~Judy~♥ said...

cute. do they only test blonds?

mrsnesbitt said...

Hilarious! I remember back in my teaching days giving out metre in a weekly spelling task - then asking the class to use the word in a sentence. One pupil wrote "In the song She'll be coming round the mountain we sing and we'll all go out to metre! lol!

Lorraine said...

Brilliant, I had heard it before and couldn't remember so enjoyed it all over again. Still giggling writing this

Banker Chick said...

i did not see that coming