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Wednesday, 18 August 2010

HELGA'S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP........

This is for Empress Bee of the High Seas - though I know you would never do anything like this.


DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.

Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip.

It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!



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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2


Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.



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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4


Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.



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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5


Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.

Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.



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DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.


Twice.

17 comments:

Dumdad said...

Ho, ho!

Flowerpot said...

brilliant as ever Ak!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Fun! Fun! Fun!

Ron said...

"Today I saved 1600 lives.

Twice."

Bwhahahahaahahahahahahhaaha!
Bwhahahahahahahahhahahahaha!

OMG...that was HYSTERICAL!!

Spewed my morning coffee!

Thanks for the great laugh, m 'dear! LOVED it!

Have a wonderful day.....X

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh thank goodness for her! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Daryl said...

SNORT!!!!!!!!

Lovely of you taking one, er, two for the team

Thom said...

ROFLMAO!!! Oh thank goodness for diaries so we can find out how the ship didn't become the Titanic. LOL Just hysterical. Have a great Wednesday :)

R. J. said...

Giggles--good for her.

Akelamalu said...

That's what I thought when I read it Dumdad :)

I can't take credit for it Flowerpot, but I am glad you enjoyed it. :)

Isn't it just Scot's Lass :)

I hope you didn't damage your keyboard when you spewed that coffee Ron! LOL

I hope there's someone on your cruise like that if needed Bee LOL

Wasn't she a good sport Daryl? ;)

Diaries are very useful sometimes Thom ;)

Yes indeedy RJ ;)

nitebyrd said...

LOL! I love it! I actually did laugh out loud. :D

secret agent woman said...

I always knew you were a very noble and self-sacrificing person. :-)

Shrinky said...

Oh Ake, me girl, you truly have excelled yourself on this one. BRILLIANT!!

Akelamalu said...

I did too when I read it Nitebyrd LOL

Oh no, not me SAW! ;)

I can't take credit for this Shrinky, I just shared someone else's sense of humour with you. :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

akelamalu: sometimes people don'tknow the sacrifices we women sometimes have to do...for the greater good...twice.

hehehe...I liked this one alot.

later honey xxx

Akelamalu said...

I thought this one might tickle your fancy Spiky ;)

RNSANE said...

Oh, may I use this? I have done 88cruise - 78 on Royal Caribbean in the last 16 years. I've dined at the captain's table about 50 times ( nope, no rendevous AFTER the dining room ) so the ship was never saved by me. Very sadly, eighteen months ago, my job of 21 years, as a forensic nurse with the city and county of San Francisco ended in massive budget cuts, and I had to retired on only a half time pension. My income plummeted $90,000 a year so cruising is no longer a possibility. I am so glad I didn't wait for retirement to travel. I got such a kick out of this.

Akelamalu said...

Of course RNSane. I retired last December which means I have half the income now so I know exactly what you mean. You have some wonderful memories of your travels, which is great. :)