He slid the note across the counter to the bank teller.
"I've got a gun, put the money in a cash bag and hand it over, no funny business" it read.
Looking him straight in the eye she pressed the alarm button.
"What the f***? he yelled.
"I've changed my mind" she whispered "too risky".
32 comments:
Wonderful as ever! Boy I love this!
Dxx
That shows a lady with true grit! And the writer did a good job, too...
A snappy drama! Love the "kink" in the woman's whisper suggesting that she may have been in on the plan - once!
So pleased you like Mrs N :)
Thanks Jinksy :)
You 'got it' exactly Greyscale Territory!
Excellent... I love the way your mind works, you create the most fabulous twists.
Excellent... I love the way your mind works, you create the most fabulous twists.
oh dang sold out by the inside man (or woman). nice 55...
Good one (again).
lol - nice one - had a good laugh
mine is here
Awesome! Mines up too.
"A Teller" In more senses than one!
Good one,thanks for it.
PS,I like the new look.
Oh NICE! Lovewly twist in the tail. Maybe she set him up?
oh no! she did NOT! ha ha ha
smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo
His inside job blew up in his face - stellar!
Excellent twist. Nice one.
smart 55.
creative and fun reading!
BRAVA!!!!!!!
I actually had to think about that ending for a second. You totally amaze me with your ability to twist these at the end!
Excellent, m'dear!
Have a wonderful weekend!
x
The whole story's in the whisper. Nicely done!
I tell you, you can be a master criminal LOL I never saw this coming. Perfect my friend and such a good twist. :) Have a wonderful Friday :)
Oh, he should have chosen his accomplice with more care. Funny 55.
Loved you twisted this up at the end! Absolutely fabulous 55.
Mine's (55) Fifteen is far too young . . .
akelamalu: hahaha. :) This one is like those movies that has an alternative ending. And we get to pick the one we like best. :)
loved it sweetie. have a wonderful weekend...xxxxx
I get it...
You so sly Ake!
Loved you 55 My Dear
Awesome as always...
Thank you for playing,and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
Ooh, betrayal!
what a clever little twist of fate!!
Ohhhh, very exciting. Great job.
Mine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/08/flash-55-friday-woe-is-me-august-20.html#links
One of the best 55's I've read. Good job! :-)
Thanks Valerie :)
Yep sold out Brian
Cheers Dumdad :)
Glad you enjoyed it Claudia
Thankyou Scots Lass :)
Yes, you're right Tony ;)
So pleased you liked he 55 and the makeover Mike.
She let him take the wrap Morning AJ!
She did Bee!
Yep it did Julia ;)
Thankyou Anthony
Glad you liked it Jingle :)
Aw you're too kind Ron xx
The whisper said it all Eric, glad you enjoyed it.
Me, a master criminal Thom? LOL
Yes he definitely should have PattiKen LOL
Thankyou muchly Cheryl :)
Yes you can choose for yourself what happens next Spiky ;)
Me, sly, G-man? LOL
Betrayal indeed SAW
Cheers Clean&Crazy
Thanks RNSane
Why thankyou Sashindoubutsu
Oh...the art of the double cross!
Indeedy Trav ;)
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