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Monday 11 May 2009

Why Parents Drink.......

Someone sent this to me, so I thought I'd share these words of wisdom with all those of you with teenagers who are turning you to drink.



A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an

Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope

with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.


I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.


But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.


Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

31 comments:

Mike Golch said...

when I was younger,i never would have thought to pull something like this.I'd be in more hot water over the letter than a bad report card.

Anonymous said...

hahaha I think anyone that can make that up at 15 and write it so well can't be doing that bad in school ;-)

Anonymous said...

I have seen this before and it is excellent...What a clever 15 year old. Hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day :)

Elaine Denning said...

Fantastic!

Dumdad said...

Wonderful! Worth bearing in mind as my son is 15!

MarmiteToasty said...

Hahahahahahaha...... thats funny knowing my youngest is 15 :)

Jebus I must be well old compared to dumdad whose oldest is 15 when my youngest is 15 lol

x

Thumbelina said...

That is just brilliant. That is an A grade student if ever I saw one! What does he mean a bad report card?

Got me ROTFL.

CG said...

Very amusing

Nessa said...

So true.

Connie T. said...

I would find her and have her arrested, if it was real. I got married and didn't invite my parents. Actually I waited till my parents went on vacation and got married. I told them when they came home. I was 19. My Mom kept saying she was going to wear combat boots to my wedding. I just went downtown to one of those walk in wedding places in Vegas.

buffalodick said...

Bad is relative...usually that relative is one of mine!

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

now THAT was FUNNY!!! ha ha ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Dr.John said...

I told that kid if you don't get all A's don't come home. Here he has a B+ in Gym.

Daryl said...

ah, I thought this sounded familiar .. still funny

Akelamalu said...

Me too Mike, I was always Miss Goody Two Shoes!

I think so too Mom's Journal :)

Oh yes I'm sure it's done the rounds Thom. Mother's Day was in March here and yes it was good thanks honey. x

Laney are you back blogging or just reading? x

Well if you get a letter from your son that starts off like that one I hope the ending is the same Dumdad ;)

Did any of your boys try that Marmie? ;)

Definitely an A student Thumbelina!

Glad you liked it CG :)

They do frighten you sometimes at that age don't they Nessa?:0

You eloped Connie? How exciting!

LOL BuffI'm glad it made you chuckle Bee x

B+ in Gym aint bad Dr.John ;)

Ah you've seen it before too Daryl but some things are still funny no matter how many times you read them aren't they? :)

TBM said...

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Good one ;-)

Cloudia said...

You are a brilliant writer and psychologist!
Aloha

Sandi McBride said...

Yep, that would make any parent reach for the bottle...nevermind the glass!
LMAO
Sandi

G-Man said...

Well...It IS true!!!!

tony said...

That Boy Will Grow Up To Be A Politician!

Salute said...

Wonderful story!

Spiky Zora Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spiky Zora Jones said...

ha hahaha...I would have fainted half way through the letter.

I think i would write my son a letter when he got back home...

Dearest Son:
Oh honey some people aren't cut out to go to school. You are one of them, don't worry about the bad grades, we're pulling you out of school...and you will be starting your new job digging ditches...all day (I have connections) on Monday.

Oh and all the stuff written above is true.

yes...I agree there are worst things than bad grades and one of them is your MOTHER!

Love you pumpkin.
Mom

Ciao sweetie....hehehehe

A Lady's Life said...

lol yup that's a boy/girl who knows their business. Better come home when things cool down a bit.
:)

Linda said...

Can you picture the look on that poor father's face as he continued to read down the page? I would be willing to bet he was sitting on that nicely made bed before he ever got to the bottom!

CrystalChick said...

OH that is soooo funny!!
I have a 15 year old son and he got some Xbox restrictions for bringing home a bad grade. He doesn't like to be without gaming for very long so that grade came right up.
Glad I didn't get a letter like this. LOL

Akelamalu said...

It made me laugh too JAPRA LOL

I can't claim credit for writing that Cloudia it was sent to me in an email. :(

I had a couple of moments similar to that with my boys Sandi and hit the bottle!! ;)

It's true G-man? Did it happen to you or were you that boy? ;)

That crossed my mind too Tony!

Glad you enjoyed it Salute. :)

OH Spiky, that letter to your son is just brilliant! I wish I'd thought of it when mine were putting me through hell! LOL

I would imagine it took Dad a while to calm down A Lady's Life - like a week! :)

I bet he collapsed on the bed after reading Stacy was pregnant Linda! LOL

Ah taking away priviledges usually does work Crystal Chick. I sincerely hope you never get a letter like that m'dear. x

GEWELS said...

HAHAHAHA!!
It took alot less than that to drive me to drink!

Akelamalu said...

LOL Gewels

aims said...

hehehe

Sometimes I'm so thankful I don't have children.

Akelamalu said...

LOL but the good usually outweighs the bad Aims, thankfully. :)