Thursday, 22 December 2011

The Reformed Parrott....

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a mean attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
    Finally I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot. He yelled back.
I shook him and he got even angrier and ruder.
So, and in desperation, I grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
  Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour."
  I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"

PS I didn't write this, I received it in an email and wanted to share it with you.


Melanie said...

that was soooooooo funny!

Beach Bum said...

That was a great piece.

Valerie said...

Heehee, did you tell him? I can sympathise, having been the proud owner of a talking

A Lady's Life said...

lol I had a parrot and I taught him the nicest things and he was such a lovely bird.
Then someone baby sat him and taught him bad words and I was so upset.
I left him in Singapore when we moved. i hope he is ok.
He was a joy beyond words.

Electric Addict said...

LOL that was pretty hilarious, wasn't expecting that ending

R. J. said...

I love a good laugh first thing in the morning. You made my day.

Daryl Edelstein said...

You get the funniest emails

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Good stuff! You helped me in the past re publishing. Still all at sea but determined to finish next year. 70,000 plus words to date. On a good day I think its ok, on a bad day, ugh!

MorningAJ said...

That's wonderful! Thanks for the laugh.

Akelamalu said...

Happy to make you smile Melanie :)

Glad you enjoyed it Beach, I did too. ;)

I'd love a talking parrot Valerie. We had a budgie that could say a few words once.

Oh what a shame you had to leave your parrot behind Lady's Life!

Glad you enjoyed it Electric Addict

Can't beat a good laugh first thing in the morning R.J. :)

I think I do Daryl ;)

Glad to hear you're still at it Ken :)

You're welcome AJ x

Banker Chick said...

You got some funny ones in the e-mail this year. I like the ending.

Finding Pam said...

Great aphorisms. I remember so many of them. Hope you had a good Christmas.