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Friday, 29 October 2010

Friday 55 Flash Fiction #139 Accident.....



Her whole being screamed "NO"!


as she watched the rescue team take her husband from the wrecked car.


He was still alive, she heard someone shout.


She hovered as close as she could get, then heard someone say


"Too late, she's gone"


as she turned to see her broken body being lifted into the ambulance.



Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

35 comments:

Connie T. said...

I like this 55 a lot. I will write one. I have not done one for a while, so off I go to do it.

Valerie said...

You excelled yourself with this one, I love it. You've just decided me on which story to post next, or at least quite soon.

anthonynorth said...

Great twist. Excellent.

MorningAJ said...

That's lovely but very sad.
Very well written.

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

Sad!!!! But great work.

Artsy-Fartsy is my Friday Post Just scroll down below the 'artsy' part. hehehehehe

tony said...

Sad Words: Great Writing.

Grandpa said...

I'm not sure if I got this one - the hubby has been 2 xing her right?

Brian Miller said...

oh no! gotta be a scary moment looking down at your dead self..nice 55.

snowelf said...

oooo, spooky!

--snow

Akelamalu said...

Oh good luck Connie, I'll pop by to read it.

I'm glad to be of inspiration to you Valerie, glad you liked it.

Why thankyou Anthony :)

Yes it is a little sad, glad you enjoyed it AJ

Cheers Hootin'Anni :)

Thanks Tony :)

No Grandpa, they were in an accident together and she died he didn't.

I think OOB experiences must be very scary Brian!

Well it is Halloween weekend Snow x

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh no, she's gone? poor little thing...

hugs, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Ron said...

OMG, this totally surprised me at the end!

EXCELLENT twist, m'dear! Never saw it coming!

BRAVA!

Have a great weekend!

X

aims said...

Something I always dread.

secret agent woman said...

The poor husband.

Eric Alder said...

"I see dead people."

Creepy 55, Akelamalu!

Happy Halloween!

Cloudia said...

Chilling, Ake!



Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

><}}(°>

G-Man said...

Google the song DOA by Bloodrock!

Grusomely delicious Ake..
Loved your 55.
Thank you so much for playing today, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

PattiKen said...

This is really chilling. It would make a great beginning for a longer story.

Maggie May said...

That was sad but strangely, I guessed the ending. I don't usually manage to do that with your stories.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Now that's a Halloween story...BOO!!!

I like it a lot...I'm gonna tellit tonight when we're carving jack-o lanterns. :)

honey...I've been trying to get into your blog. but it stops me and locks up. I tried again before leaving for home...and on the second try...I'm in. the NET is wacky lately.

have a great weekend. xxx

lettuce said...

oh really clever!

have a great weekend

Akelamalu said...

Yes, she's gone Bee :(

I love it when the twist works Ron, thanks m'dear. x

I dread it too Aims

He's got to live with what happened sadly SAW :(

You got it Eric

Indeed it is Cloudia

Glad you liked it G-man

It could be expanded for sure Pattiken

Sorry the twist didn't work for you this week Maggie but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway.

I'm sorry you've having problems getting on my blog Spiky. Hope the story goes down well tonight.

Why thankyou Lettuce x

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh that was a spine chilling one lovely. (Hope you're ok. Sorry it's been a while. x)

hope said...

Okay, you win the spooky prize! ;0

Quilly said...

Very, very well done! Excellent story.

I totally forgot my 55 this week -- not surprising since I had so much trouble keeping the days straight!

Travis Cody said...

Very sad.

Jannie Funster said...

Wow, you just never know, do you. Your number could be up any time.

Enjoy life and the ones we love while we have them.

xo

Susan at Stony River said...

Oh wow -- how excellent! (in a chilling sort of way --) I always love your 55s.

Annie said...

oooo...goosepimples!

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Jo and it's good to see you. :)

Why thankyou Hope :)

LOL I can understand how you forgot your 55 Quilly with the mix up!

Yes it is sad Trav

You got it, exactly Jannie

Aw thanks Susan, how kind. x

It is a goosepimply story isn't it Annie

Linda said...

Perfect for the Halloween season - this one gave me a shiver!

Happy Halloween, m'dear!

Jingle said...

smart 55.
keep it up.

Pat said...

Ominous and sinister story--I love it. I like the big spzces between yhe lines--It adds to the suspense!

Pat said...

OOps...Two typos in my comment! The second sentence should say: I like the big spaces between the lines...

Akelamalu said...

Cheers Linda :)

Thanks Jingle :)

I guessed what you meant Pat, glad you enjoyed it.