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Friday 30 January 2009

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 61 Prisoner

Prisoner


Locked in a confined space.


Terrified and hot.


No means of escape.


Her only hope - that someone would miss her.


Time ticking away, the air thinning, stifling.


Sweat trickling down the centre of her back.


A stifled scream.




"Hello" called a disembodied voice.


A saviour!


"We'll have the lift working in a jiffy" it said.



Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

26 comments:

buffalodick said...

Never been stuck in an elevator, but I did go up and down 95 floors two times in a row trying to get to the closed 96th floor- thought I was going to barf!

Mona said...

Gosh! You made me hyperventilate with this one!

I happen to be claustrophobic!

Great 55ve Ake. I am glad help was near!

myrtle beached whale said...

Great 55. The elevator in my condo traps people from time to time. So far, I have avoided confinement. Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope I make it into your follow list.

Daryl said...

Excellent ... you are so good at this!

Pam said...

i would freak out if stuck in elevator. i'm slightly claustrophobic. hehe great job, ake. i don't have one this wk. have headache, runny nose...just trying to read all 55s and comment. :)

Reverend Michael Kilgore said...

Great one! Conjures up some scary images....mines up.

Julia Phillips Smith said...

Weird - *Twilight Zone Theme*

I'm working on my transported-to-Tasmania story these days. This could be both of my characters, though not in an elevator.

Anonymous said...

I like this. It is excellent. Great 55 words.

Akelamalu said...

Up and down 95 floors twice Buff? No wonder you felt sick!

Oooer sorry it had that effect on you Mona x

You must be wary each time to get in the lift Myrtle in case it gets stuck! :0 I am following your blog. :)

Aw thanks Daryl x

It wouldn't bother me too much as long as it wasn't for too long Ciara. Sorry to hear you're not well honey. x

It's scary for claustrophobics Mike!

Thankyou conniemeraldeyes :)

Mojo said...

I know I was holding my breath! I'm only mildly claustrophobic and would probably do okay in a stuck elevator (as long as the blasted alarm bell wasn't shrilling nonstop!), but the only reason I got through the "run-up" in this was that I knew of your penchant for a twist to the innocent at the end. If I hadn't been expecting to find that she really hadn't been buried alive I might have been hyperventilating right alongside Monaji!

Akelamalu said...

I'm going to have change tack to catch you out Mojo! (wink)

Marshall Family said...

wow love it!! i thought she'd be waiting for the guillotine or something along thsoe lines, well written :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hahahaha. I loved it.

You really had me going there. Hey this is exactly the way my girl and her sisier were when we got stuck in an elevator in Las Vegas.

hehehe.

Have a fab weekend honey. :D

Ron said...

I had NO IDEA where you were going with this one!!!

BRAVA!!!

Hey listen, I actually was caught in the elevator in my apartment building once, but when it happened, it just so happened that the elevator repairman was IN the elevator with us...I swear!

And he knew exactly what to do to get the damn thing started again!!

OY VEY!

Have a great weekend, dear lady!

X

paisley said...

definitely a bad feeling i am sure,, although it has never happened to me personally......

Dr.John said...

These fifty five word things just keep getting better and better. I Loved this one.

Redheels said...

Loved it. I was stuck in the elevator at the hospital in my town. At least I wasn't alone, but still I didn't like it. We were rescued in about an hour so not too bad.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.

Cloudia said...

Once again you've crafted a pleasing little gem! So enjoyable, like literary candy. Aloha, Dear.

Donnetta said...

Oh, I've been trapped briefly in the elevator at worked. Trapped with a friend who was claustrophobic. I thought she was going to faint, and here I was stuck with her and no help! Luckily, it lasted only minutes! D

Lulda Casadaga said...

I would hate to be stuck in any elevator...where would I pee? :P
Have a great weekend!

Akelamalu said...

That is wierd Julia! :)

Ah, gotcha Emmie LOL

You got stuck in an elevator in Las Vegas Spiky? You gotta tell on your blog!


Well if your going to get stuck in an elevator Ron you chose the right person to be stuck with! LOL


It's never happened to me either Paisly, thank goodness. :)


Aw thanks Dr. John. When are you going to try it? ;)


It's amazing just how many people have actually been stuck in an elevator Redheels!


Thanks Cloudia you say the nicest things. xx


A minute is long enough to be trapped Donnetta, especially if you're claustrophobic!


Good question Lulda, it could be a big problem! LOL

G-Man said...

It took me second to figure out what a lift was...hahahaha
Excellent 55 Ake, one of my favorite weekly contributions...:-)
Thanks for visiting, thanks for playing, thanks for being so brilliant...G

Lucy said...

WOw! didn't expect that! great 55, elevators always make me nervous!

Travis Cody said...

I was stuck in an elevator once. It can be a bit unnerving.

cheshire wife said...

Another good reason for using the stairs!

storyteller said...

Wonderful 55 ... reminds me of the guy who was stuck in an elevator over a long holiday weekend about a year ago. Sometimes I'd rather take the stairs just to be safe.
Hugs and blessings,