Followers

Thursday, 4 October 2007

What about Britney?.......


What is your reaction to the news that Britney Spears' has lost her children to her ex?


From the recent reports of her erratic and worrying behaviour it came as no surprise to me. If the media reports are to be believed about her drug-taking, drinking and general 'pottiness' then I think the children are safer out of that environment. I don't think people really took what was happening too seriously until she shaved her head, that being perceived as the ultimate act of her 'going completely off the rails'! I have to say, as a woman, I was shocked to hear she had done such a thing and wondered what was the 'last straw' that had driven her to it.


I feel sorry for Britney, she seems to have lost all sense of reality since the split with 'KFed', but to subject her children to the dangersof having drugs in their home, to me, is unforgivable. She needs serious help, it is obvious that she is having some sort of mental breakdown perhaps brought on by post natal depression, but of course society expects her to be able to cope being left alone with two young children. Had KFed been left with the children in the first place, no doubt help would have queuing at his door! Why is it that women are expected to cope with anything life throws at them whilst men are presumed to need help in bringing up children and coping with life as a single parent? OK Britney has 'millions' and could have paid for people to look after her children, but I believe that she loves her children and wanted to be the best Mum she could to them, and by trying to do everything herself she has pushed herself beyond what she can endure. There seems to be a 'public opinion' that it is 'weak' to ask for help if you are a woman, whilst men are not expected to cope in such situations.


It is not ideal that children have to be shared by parents who can no longer live with each other, but it can work if both parties learn to give and take and do what is best for the children. Any animosity felt between parents should be put aside, however difficult this is, to make sure that the children do not suffer because of the split. It is every child's right to have two parents who love them and spend equal time with them. It isn't easy bringing up children even in a stable relationship. Children play their parents off against each other and even more so when the relationship has split. Cries of I want to go to my Mum, or Dad, are guaranteed to fray nerves to breaking point - but that's what children do in the hope that you will give in to their demands and they get exactly what they want. I don't know whether this is what has happened in Britney's case, I hope she gets the help she needs and it is not too long before she is able to get her children back to live with her, if that is what she and KFed can agree on. The most important thing is that she gets well and the children have access to both their parents again.

28 comments:

The Rotten Correspondent said...

I honestly don't think she can even care for herself, much less her children. The fact that her mother only sees the kids at K-Fed's house speaks volumes to me.

Sure, he looks like a pimp, but I think he's trying.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i do feel sorry for her in that she is so young with so much going on in her life and nothing grounding her to reality and the poor kids will be so messed up too. it is very sad...

smiles, bee

JoAnn - NL "My digital eyes" :) said...

Yes I red that in the papers too, Its AWFULL to loose your children for everyone, so also for Britney... terrible she must be heartbroken!

I hope for her sake that she will be able to get her children back some day, I really do,but she must chnage her life a bit, get herself together and than...

Thats what I think :)

CG said...

I would really hate for either of my girls to have the "success" Britney has had, as it seems to have ruined her life!

buffalodickdy said...

You don't see the terms idiot and millionare in the same sentence very often in real life, but you sure see it alot when they're talking about rock stars, famous atheletes, and actor/actresses...

julia said...

Unfortunately, in my opinion Britney very likely was doomed to this episode in her life whether she was a well known singer or whether she was the odd young mother down the street. If a person is carrying around a major mental illness, it makes itself known at precisely Britney's age. Most mood disorders present themselves by the teen years but are ignored because of a natural prevalence of moody behaviour by most teens. If by age 25 the mood disorder is untreated, the sufferer will most likely be self-medicating in the form of substance abuse. Her foray into motherhood obviously tipped her over the deep end. When I saw her shave her head I just wished the media would stop. Again, she more than likely would have shaved her head even if no one knew who she was, but some day when she is more stable, she has numerous momentoes of her descent into madness.
A very sad tale but one that plays itself out in homes all over the world. No mentally stable woman would show up to hand over her children in a see-through skirt and thong. I can breathe a sigh of relief for the kids - for now. They are likewise fated to a difficult childhood. I hope there is a stable adult somewhere in their world who can make them feel safe.

Linda said...

Sometimes it doesn't matter whether you are the mother of the children or not - sometimes you are NOT the best person for the children to be with. Sadly this has been proven time and time again and it has proven itself in Britney's case.

If Britney were that concerned about her children and keeping custody of them she would have reigned herself in and behaved like the mother of two young children rather than the "party girl" that she has become. When you are a parent you have to put your children first and if that means less clubbing, less hanging around with your "bff"s, less having fun and being a responsible adult then so be it. You have to put your children first - you have to and obviously Britney has not been able to do that.

We don't really know what kind of father K-Fed is at this point (we know he's a bad singer but we don't know all that much about his parenting skills) so we need to give him the chance to prove that he cares about his children and wants to see that they have the best childhood possible. Maybe, just maybe, the kids are going to be better off with him and hopefully he can provide them a more stable environment than their mother has been able to do so far.

The saddest thing about all this is that it's the boys who end up losing - not Britney. She's an adult and she can make adult decisions, those little boys can't and they are the ones that matter the most right now.

ciara said...

who knows if britney will EVER stop the partying. i live this. and what i mean by that is is that steve has custody of his son and has had it for the past 3 yrs because his x wife loves the drink/drugs more. not to mention that most ppl w these types of problems lack self esteem. stepson's mom gets 3 hours supervised visitation on saturdays. sometimes steve will let it be longer as long as someone is there. steve's x has been going thru this cycle for years (rehab, screw up, rehab, screw up). she's 42 years old and this has been going on since she was a teen. steve knew all this still married her and still brought a child into it. too bad i deleted my second wife, second time blog. it went into more detail.

let's just hope britney doesn't go thru this cycle like my husband's x. that she cares more about her boys than the partying. britney's lucky...at least she's got money. steve's x can't even get a job due to a stint in jail. and she used to make 140k a yr!

Nea said...

The very best for kids if their parents can get along, whether married or separated. When they start using children as pawns, the kids always suffer.

I might think that Kfed were the best parent, IF I didn't look at his facts sheet. He also has a history of drugs, partying, and didn't he leave his 7 month pregnant girlfriend to move in with Brit? He also loses his income from Brit the first of Nov. Now he won't have to worry about that, there will be child support. He has no income of his own right now.

I don't think he really had the children's BEST interests at heart or he would try to work with Britney for the sake of the kids, I don't think a child ever thinks that their parent is bad, no matter what they do, so I am sure to the children this is going to be a bit overwhelming. Children grow up under far worse circumstances, I think if you look at a lot of what is written about her you will see that things get blow a bit out of proportion. If they took away the children of all the star in Hollywood that did drugs, there would be no kids left with their parents. Remember marijuana is also a drug.. I bettcha KFed has done his share of drugs. Right now Britney couldn't seem to do anything right....she got into a "wreck" in a parking lot. She actually tapped another car.....they had it on film. It didn't do any damage to either car, but when you read it in the tabloids it sounded like she hit and ran and left injuries behind. I don't think she is a perfect Mother image, to be sure, but I don't see any bruises on the kids, they both seem well fed. And even though she does a lot of partying.....who is Hollywood doesn't. She doesn't bring the kids with her to parties, they are at home with a nanny. Well It really makes no difference to me personally, but as you said, I bet she is going through post partum depression to some degree. Two babies so close together does a job on the hormones.

Flowerpot said...

seems t me that britney needed medical assistance a long time ago. hope it can all be worked out but I'm not too sure if it will.

Gledwood said...

I read something similar to what Julia just said above on a psychiatric website about Britney it said IS BRITNEY BIPOLAR? Because she is seemingly acting that way...
I think K Fed wants custardy because if he gets it he knows he has a meal ticket paid up for the next 16 years... probably a highly-paid "advisor" has whispered as much in his ear...
That's a good point you made about needing help... I don't know why on earth if she was under such scrutiny she didn't employ some good nannies... I expect she wanted to prove she could look after 2 kids all on her own but fell flat on her face...
as for her supposedly noncholantly going for coffee afterwards: the press can get whatever moods they like from a selection of paparazi photos as we all know after all she only has to look "not bothered" for a split second for the photograph...
I hope she does sort herself out - I've never seen a public figure self-destruct quite as dramatically or quickly as Britney Spears has done it's quite scary, a real sign of the times

Orange Blossom Goddess (aka Heather) said...

I think what she needs is a hug and a smack. I do hope for her to come out of this and not head towards suicide or anything of that sort. I also have to say that I've not heard K-Fed making bad remarks about her and for this I think he's earned some of my respect.

ciara said...

i'm actually gonna stand up for kfed. you never hear about him being a shit dad. and his leaving his pregnant gf for brit? it's not like people haven't done that before. as a matter of fact, mary louise parker's kid's father actually did that, too. he left her for claire danes. i would be doing the same as kfed no matter what anyone thought of me...i would get my kids away from an addict. trust me, it's far better thing than to subject your child seeing you 'on something', arrested, or even doing jail time. my husband's x has done all of the above...she has taken their son to drug dealers homes back in the day. when he was finally old enough he told her that he didn't want to get in the car w her. guess what happened? she came back w her front all banged up and got another dui to add to her record. unless she's willing to admit she has a problem and get help i think the kids are better off w their dad. like i said, steve got custody because of similar situation. you just won't hear about it because she, and we, are not famous.

Gledwood said...

I don't feel like a butterfly today: can I be a moth instead?

RUTH said...

A brilliant piece of writing Akelamula. You have been fair and understanding of the problems of motherhood. Your last sentence I concur with 100%.
Rx

MarmiteToasty said...

I think they need a British Nanny LOL...... I am applying for the job..... :)

Great piece of writing Akelamalu, as usual....

x

Elween said...

that's the darkness in the showbiz. there many negative influences out there to crash a celeb life. it mays seem beautiful in the outside but we don't know what's beneath it.
i wouldn't say she brought this upon herself because losing self control is not up to one's will.

her performance "Gimme More" in the Grammy Award" was really..disturbing.

Catch said...

I think the boys should have been more important to Britney than all the clubbing and partying. She needs help and I hope she gets it....as for kfed...he was looking for a meal ticket when he married Britney and I have no respect for him at all, but I do hope he can be a good Father to these little boys who have become lost in the shuffle. The best thing Birt can do is get some help and get her babies back home with her.Good post Akalamalu!!!

Akelamalu said...

Thanks Correspoindent, Bee, JoAnn, CG, Buffalodickdy, Julia, Linda, Ciara, Nea, Flowerpot, Gledwood, Orange Blossom, Ruth, Marmie, Elween, and Catch for your views on this.

It would seem that as far as Britney needing help everyone is in agreement. At the end of the day the most important people in this are the children. I hope Britney gets the help she needs and can be a good Mum to her kids and K-Fed will let her do just that.

Bankerchick said...

Akela,
You have such a warm heart to be worried about Britany and her kids. The media has inundated us with so much about Britany, Linsey Lohan, Princess Di Paris Hilton, etc that I have taken to my Tivo and the internet to get news so I can filter out the unimportant I an doing that with the national election that has started over too and will start paying attention when the cadidates are decided upon. Celebrity seem to be a curse for some people and I have decided not to worry about it. I think Julia is right she is mentally ill by all the symptoms. Some things filter thru. Headlines all over the place.

Akelamalu said...

Bankerchick you are right of course about the media overload. Celebrity status can be a curse.

Jo Beaufoix said...

I feel sorry for her too.
I hope she works things out and gets hep. The press have been so hard on her from the start it can not have helped her recovery in any way.

I also feel a little sad that her mum is helping her by staying away.

Hmmm. Helpful.

crazy working mom said...

I feel sorry for her because being the mother of two children myself, I know how difficult it can be. But, with all she has to cope with on top of being a mother...the paparazzi, media, etc. It doesn't help matters. I sure hope that she can get the help she needs so that maybe she can be the mother those two beautiful babies deserve!

Akelamalu said...

Mmmm some mother eh Jo? :(

You're rightcrazy working mom it is difficult bringing up children, but doing it in the spotlight must be hell!

Nea said...

I would like to add one note, Kev hasn't had to say anything bad about Brit, he has HIRED other people to do it for him, while he sits back and smiles.......does anyone think that he is going to stay home and be a perfect Dad? Just wait until the tabloids turn on him....and it will happen....

Britnany has never been as bad as they write in the tabloids....the reason that she didn't leave her kids with nannies all the time is because she is the Mom and she loves her kids. If there were a camera with each of us all the time, they would get pictures of us that they could write bad things about. When you are under the camera every minute and the press has it in for you. you are in trouble if people are going to believe what the smut magazines write. All the information that everyone has is from the tabloids. Brit is young and after the kids have gone to bed, she parties.......a lot of parents do.

But to take her kids away, I am sure glad there was no camera present while I was young and bringing up my first child.....

Gledwood said...

Poor Britney Spears!

Akelamalu said...

I think you're right Nea, the media only ever tell the bad things because it sells. I think Britney needs help not criticism and I hope she gets it.

You said it Gleds

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