Thursday, 27 October 2011

Dad's dilemma......

Remembering how my Dad made me laugh has prompted me to repost this anecdote from November 2007.  I miss him. 

Dad had to go into hospital yesterday, just for the day, to have a transfusion because he is anaemic. Now Dad has smoked since he was twelve years old, no amount of cajoling, pressure or anything else, from anyone including doctors, will convince him to give up and he wasn’t looking forward to being hooked up to a drip for umpteen hours without being able to have a fag!
He rang me at 5 p.m. to tell me he had just come home, so I went to see him.

“How did you get on today at the hospital Dad?” I asked

“I was asleep most of the day because I was bored and I couldn’t have a cigarette” he told me.

“So you didn’t have a cigarette all day?” I said “That’s good, perhaps you can give up?”

I knew what the answer would be, and I can’t repeat it here, and what he told me next had me laughing so much I could hardly breathe, you couldn’t make it up honestly! Here’s what happened……

Dad had been hooked up to a drip and a BP monitor all day and a couple of times during the day he had asked the nurses if they could unhook him from the drip so he could go outside for a cigarette, but of course they refused which is why he was asleep most of the day because it takes the craving away. At 4.30 p.m ish he awoke and noticed that the drip had finished so he called the nurse over to ask if she would unhook him as he needed the toilet. She said she couldn’t do that as she needed to put some saline through but she could unhook him from the BP monitor and would walk him to the toilet carrying the drip whilst he leaned on his stick (he needs a hip replacement remember). Whilst Dad did need the toilet, what he really wanted was to then be able to go outside for a smoke – this had scuppered his plan!

Once in the toilet the nurse hooked the drip bag on the coat hook on the door and told Dad to pull the help-cord when he was finished so she could help him back to his bed. As soon as she’d gone Dad lit up a cigarette having realised that this was probably the only toilet in the entire hospital not displaying No Smoking signs. After the initial rush of the nicotine he undid his trousers and tried to sit on the toilet but, because of his hip and the toilet being so low, he couldn’t get down that far, eventually in desperation he just fell on the toilet and finished his cigarette.

When he’d finished his cigarette and his ablutions he found that he had no support apart from his stick to heave himself off the seat, and he remonstrated with himself for smoking and getting himself into such a predicament. Eventually he noticed a sort of bar swinging from the ceiling but being unsure as to its purpose he gave it a couple of tugs before he felt confident enough that it would support his weight. Once assured, he tried to pull himself up using the bar and his walking stick for support. Alas it wasn’t working. He then decided if he held onto the bar and jerked himself up he could get himself into a standing position – it worked, but unfortunately as he stood his pants dropped to his ankles! By this time he said he was breathless and couldn’t do anything apart from lean on his stick and hang on to the pole. After what seemed like an eternity he managed to pull his pants up with his stick and get them fastened and holding the drip bag aloft he ventured out of the cubicle leaning heavily on his stick.

Scanning the room for the help-cord he realised that it was over the other side of the room and his hip was hurting so much he couldn’t face the trek so he began trying to hook the cord with his stick. He got the cord swinging and as it ‘flirted’ wildly by he made a grab for it managing to catch and pull it at the same time. All this for a cigarette he remonstrated with himself, but it had taken him so long that all tell-tale signs smoke and smell-wise had dissipated, thankfully.
Within a few minutes the nurse had come to help him back to his bed.

“Are you OK Mr D, you’ve been a long time” she asked.

“Don’t ask, luv, just don’t ask” he replied.


mrsnesbitt said...

The memories bring comfort Pearl, trust me - oh and the laughs, smiles always tears - because their pressence is in the marrow of our bones and the cockles of our heart. (((HUGS)))

Daryl said...

Memories are how we keep them with us .. hugs dear one it does get easier ..

Linda said...

What a great story proving just how stubborn (and resilient) your Dad was! The poor guy is lucky he didn't end up in a heap on the floor with his trousers down around his ankles after all that!

Memories like this will keep your father alive for you for a very long time - thank you sharing this one with us.

Sending you a big hug.

CrystalChick said...

What a wonderful story!! And funny!
I'm glad that you have many precious memories to help you as you go through this difficult time.
Thank for the repost! It reminded me of my dad, he was a smoker too, and probably snuck a few in places he shouldn't have. LOL

Akelamalu said...

It's better to remember the laughs and the love always Denise :)

I know it does eventually Daryl, thanks honey. x

Oh yes, my memories will keep my Dad with me forever Linda :)

Smokers can be very stubborn can't they CrystalChick LOL

Maggie May said...

What a funny tale. That really made me smile.
Doesn't seem worth all that effort just to smoke.I do wish he could give it up but I suppose it is well established in his system by now.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

A Lady's Life said...

LOL Well the cigarette put him into a milder mood to say the least, after a whole day whats a half hour pulling your pants up lol
But I feel sorry for him cause I understand with pain,
it's not a joke.
Kids don't understand pain and so they laugh. We did too and our grand parents often laughed along with us cause they knew it was funny from our perspective.

Shrinky said...

Oh, bless his cotton socks, what a character! The poor man DESERVED another cigarette break, after having lived through all of that!

cheshire wife said...

That story made me smile. Somehow we remember the good times and forget the bad times. It is best that way.

Ron said...

Faaaaaaabulous story!

VERY funny!

And the brilliant way in which you wrote this, I could actually SEE all of it happening.

It's ironic that you shared this because after my own father passed away, I too recall remembering those moments when my he had made me laugh.

My dad was such a funny guy!

Thanks so much for sharing this story, m'dear. LOVED it!

(((( You )))))


Ron said...

P.S. I love the photo on your sidebar of your Mum & Dad!

Cloudia said...

yes, there is so much we miss about them. thank goodness there are friends like you who understand and share the memories!

warmest Aloha from Honolulu

Comfort Spiral

> < } } ( ° >

Beach Bum said...

Your dad was awesome! Would have loved to meet him.

Valerie said...

A fabulous story, Pearl. Like everyone said... memories keep our loved ones alive. I really like your parents wedding photograph. Your Mum looked a dream in her bridal gown and your Dad's smile ... well, he looked so happy.

Akelamalu said...

He's not going to give up now, he passed away 3 weeks ago Maggie.

He was laughing when he was telling me what happened Lady's Life, he could see the funny side of it. :)

He did indeed Shrinky.

Always best to remember the good times Cheshire Wife x

There was a lot of laughter with my Dad Ron, that's how I'll always remember him. I love that photo too. :)

It's good to remember Cloudia x

You would have loved him Beach, thankyou. xx

I know it's such a beautiful photograph Valerie, and they were happy together until the day my Mum passed. Dad missed her every day for the rest of his life. I just know they're back together now and happy again. xx

tony said...

A Lovely Memory, And Good For Him For Telling The Tale To You.
Yes, The Memories Will Make You Stronger.x

Gledwood said...

Bloody hell you couldn't make that one up!

Akelamalu said...

Lovely memories like this keep him alive for me Tony x

No, you couldn't make it up Gleds LOL

Mama Zen said...

Laughing with you and crying for you. I know it's hard, Ake.

Travis Cody said...

Your dad must have been quite the character. I know you miss him. It's good to have these kinds of memories to get you through the grief.

Melanie said...

What a great story! While it is not the same as him being here, the love in the stories and memories you have will warm your heart <3

Jeff B said...

I know it's hard for you these days. I remember when my dad passed. So many fond memories we each have of our fathers. Cherish them my dear.

Anonymous said...

oh, so funny. you must miss him!

Akelamalu said...

Thankyou Mama Zen xx

Oh he was Trav, my memories keep me smiling. x

No it's not the same as him being here Melanie but it keeps him close. x

I do Jeff, I do. xx

I miss him so much Rosneath but he's always in my heart. x

secret agent woman said...

I'm glad you have those fun memories of him.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

awww, bless his heart, he was in such pain, and i know just what it feels like, buggers.

hugs, bee (the loopy one)