He said to me.......

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it

I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?



He said to me . ... ...... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart



He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!



He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him .. . They don't have time



He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him .. . I don't know; it has never happened.



He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.



He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

I said . . A widow.


He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?

I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 
I wish I'd thought of those retorts! LOL