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Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Portrait of Words # 11




This writing challenge has changed. Originally Jeff (A Word in Edgewise) started up this monthly challenge, derived from a previous challenge from R.E.H.'s "Picture Fiction Challenge", but Jeff has given it up and Dr. John (Dr. John's Fortress) and Thom (Thom's Place 4 Well Whatever) have taken over. The challenge is now weekly and you can get all the details here, where you can also pick up the links to read all the entries. Do pop over and read, you won't be disappointed.


I'm not sure I will be doing this every week but I will when the mood takes me.    Anyway here's my entry for this week.




Jack Milne picked up the loop end of the rope and tossed it to the boy standing on the dock.




Jack had been the drummer in a very successful rock band in the 60’s. He’d been into it all drugs, sex, wild parties but it just all became too much, after 10 years at the top he was burnt out.






Deciding he’d had enough, whilst the band were still at their peak, he walked away with a shedload of money. He had always been astute where money was concerned and had invested wisely. When he quit the music business he had started his own construction company, building it up as a reliable company that offered great service at reasonable prices. He wasn’t bothered about making lots more money, he had enough, he just wanted to do something useful and could often be found on site in his hard hat.





Jack’s willingness to get his hands dirty made him very popular with his employees and consequently he had a hardworking, loyal workforce, this contributed to the success of his company and within ten years he was a multi-millionnaire.



Personal happiness had eluded Jack. For all his success in the band and his business he had never found anyone special to share his life with. There had been girls, of course, but the one girl he really loved when he had been with the band couldn’t stand all the hype and had ditched him, she wasn’t interested in his money.




For the next thirty years travelling became Jack’s only vice and he was now mooring his boat in Göcek harbour, Turkey, a place he hadn’t visited before. Walking round the harbour he came across a little café called ‘Sweet Sue’s’ where he decided to sit outside and enjoy a coffee.





A pretty young Greek girl took his order and delivered it quickly. Jack was intrigued as to the café’s name summising that the owner wasn’t Greek and asked the girl what the situation was. The girl spoke really good English, which wasn’t surprising when she explained that the owner was not only English but also her mother. “Ah, I see” said Jack and proceeded to chat with the girl.



Jack was moored in Göcek for a week and visited the café every morning for coffee, taking time to chat with Güsde, the young waitress. On his last in Göcek he called at Sweet Sue’s for his coffee and was taken aback when a young boy served him. He asked where Güsde was but the boy said he didn’t know, then he disappeared inside. Minutes later a woman came out of the café and stopped at his table asking “Why are you asking after my daughter?”


Looking up at the woman Jack removed his sunglasses and stared at her. The woman in turn stared at Jack.


“What are you doing here?” they both asked together.

Neither the woman, Sue, nor Jack couldn’t believe after thirty years they would come face to face again. Sue was a widow with a daughter now, Jack was the free agent he always was and the spark was still there!

25 comments:

Thom said...

Wonderful my friend an very wellwritten. I was so hoping that when he met the daughter herothee would be the one Jack loved. Youndidnt disappoint me at all. Excellent I so hope the mood strikes you weekly :$

secret agent woman said...

The romantic in me hopes Jack stays in Turkey to be with Sue.

Thom said...

I fogot to mention...there's something for you on my blog :) Aloha my friend

G-Man said...

Is coffee replacing booze everywhere?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i think you should write longer stuff... (smile)

smiles, bee
xxoxoxoxoxoxox

Daryl said...

Most excellent!

Akelamalu said...

I'm so glad I didn't disappoint you Thom. I will play weekly time permitting. :)

Oh I think we can safely say Jack and Sue will be together now Secret Agent Woman ;)

Not in my house G-man! (wink)

I don't have enough time Bee, maybe when I've retired. ;)

Why thankyou Daryl x

Nessa said...

I love that you usually write stories with the kind of endings i like - the kind where people get what they deserve, in this case, happiness.

Cloudia said...

So very well done AS USUAL, my dear Ake.What a great story...my romancx\e for the day!

Aloha

Comfort Spiral

Deb said...

I thought for sure that Jack was up to no good at first when I saw the rope but this turned out to be a romance story! Well-done, my creative friend!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

I love to read you...always. you capture me so quickly. You build your story and soon I'm caught in the it and seeing it in my mind's eye.

fabulous sweetie and again the twist was awesome.

I think I see a noval in this one...you have a way of building charactors effortlessly...as the story unfolds.

More please. :)

ciao honey and thank you for the story.

Linda said...

Seriously ... you should be a writer you tell such great stories!

Ah, to find that elusive spark all those years later!

Shrinky said...

Ah, Autumn love can be so precious - a lovely piece Akelamalu, and the photo's beautifully illustrate it.

BJ Roan said...

I absolutely loved the way you ended the story. I thought Jack was about to begin a new romance, when you threw me a very nicely thrown curve ball.

cheshire wife said...

Let's hope that it is second time lucky for Jack and Sue.

Dr.John said...

Another one of your great stories. This one with a romantic happy ending. Two of my favorite endings.
Thanks for helping us get started again.

bettygram said...

I like the fact that Sue and Jack got together after the number of years.

Mama Zen said...

You are really good at this!

Akelamalu said...

I'm pleased you like them Nessa X

Ah you're a true romantic Cloudia :)

I did think about going down that line at one point Deb ;)

Thank you so much for your praise Spiky it means so much . xx

You're always so kind in your comments about my writings Linda, thankyou xx

Well the photos came first Shrinky so they'd better illustrate it! LOL

Aha you took the bait BJRoad I was beginning to think it hadn't worked. Thankyou. :)

Love can be so much better the second time around Cheshire Wife - I know. ;)

Cheers Dr. John I enjoyed the challenge this week. :)

I like that too Bettygram :)

Why thankyou Mama Zen x

San said...

A love story with a happy ending. Sigh.

Akelamalu said...

Thanks San :)

Just a Plane Ride Away said...

I love happy endings! Another great tale, friend. I could read them all day long :-)

Akelamalu said...

Aw thanks JAPRA x

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