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Monday, 22 June 2009

Grandmas, Grandads and Grandkids......

I received this by email and it made me laugh so much I just had to share it with you.


1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Granma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...


2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, sixty two. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at one?"



3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more out of control, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"



4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tyre; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd got to know you sooner!"


5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.


6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"


8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with torches."



9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."


10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


11.. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."


12.. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire engine zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."


13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."


14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!


15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

34 comments:

Thom said...

I'm just busting out laughing. These are so funny. I loved 8 and 12 the best. Thanks so much for sharing :) Aloha

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thanks for the 2:00 AM laughs!

MomsJournal said...

Those are awesome! I love number 11, "it means carrying a child." hahahahaha ;-)

The Duck said...

Tee hee hee!
I liked all of them, but the last one was so funny!

Shrinky said...

Oh, this is wonderful, I love it, I am now going to send my sister along to read it too!

Dr.John said...

To tell you how good these were when my wife gets up I'm going to read some of them to her.

snowelf said...

These are soooo adorable--I emailed them to my mom so she could get a laugh too! Thanks for sharing!

--snow

buffalodick said...

Pretty good stuff! Chuckles at every one!

Mama Zen said...

These are hilarious!

G-Man said...

You so funny Ake....:-)

Deb said...

Very funny! I am going to share the fun with some of my friends. I love the mosquito carrying torches one. Thanks for the laughs this gloomy Monday morning. Take care.

Salute said...

Hilarious! Sure to put a smile on your face. Thanks for sharing.

Daryl said...

Oh these are just wonderful .. I laughed out loud making a co-worker wonder what was so amusing about the web link problem I was supposed to be sleuthing out

Linda said...

I'd like to think that I'm not quite as old as God just yet!

Thank you so much for the wonderful chuckles this morning. Sorry I've been such a lousy visitor as of late; I'm beginning to think we need a third computer around this house!

Mike Golch said...

Great posting.I have an award for you on my site.

Akelamalu said...

I'm pleased you got a chuckle out of them Thom :)

What are you doing up at 2 a.m. Nick? :0

You wonder what goes on in their heads don't you Mom'sJournal?

The last one made me LOL too The Duck!

I hope your sister enjoys it as much as you did Shrinky x

Hopefully Mrs John will get a giggle too Dr. John :)

It's good to share Snowelf, I hope your Mom likes them. x

I thought they were funny too Buff :)

Glad you liked them Mama Zen :)

You think so G-man? LOL

Oh yes do share them Deb, everyone deserves a giggle on a Monday. x

You're welcome Salute, I'm happy you enjoyed them.

I trust you explained Daryl? LOL

No apologies needed Linda, glad you enjoyed them hon. x

Oooh thankyou Mike :)

Ron said...

What a wonderful way to start my day!

These are SOOOOOOOO cute!

Ok...#1, 2, 8, 9 are my favorites!

Thanks for sharing, dear lady!

Happy Monday to ya!
X

cheshire wife said...

It makes you wonder what gems we might have come out with when we were young.

Cheffie-Mom said...

This is wonderful!!

Carol said...

Really funny stuff.

secret agent woman said...

Several of those made me giggle.

Travis said...

Those are cute!

Nessa said...

Very funny. Kids do say the most amazing things.

Susan at Stony River said...

I *hurt* myself laughing at these (I suppose it's better than wetting my pants?) but love 5 and 3 best I think. Must pass them on to my sister!

Akelamalu said...

So pleased you enjoyed it Ron m'deario x

Yes, if only our parents had made notes Cheshire Wife, we could be laughing at ourselves. :)

Thanks Cheffie Mom :)

It is Carol :)

Most of them made me giggle Secret Agent Woman LOL

Kids are cute though aren't they Trav? :)

They certainly do Nessa!

MarmiteToasty said...

Huge smiles...... funny stuff..

x

Akelamalu said...

Ah Marmie you're back! xxxx

MarmiteToasty said...

Sort of :) as and when 'things' allow...

x

Akelamalu said...

Well a little of you is better than nothing my lovely. xxx

Robin said...

#3 too funny!!

Kay said...

I popped over from Susan's blog because your name sounded Hawaiian and I thought you were from the islands, too. What fun! England! You've got a fun blog. I got a bushel of laughs from this post. Thank you.

Akelamalu said...

Glad you liked it Robin x

Welcome Kay, I'm pleased you weren't disappointed to find I'm from England. :)

storyteller said...

Thanks for the laughter ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

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