Today 1,000's of bloggers around the world will be joining in BlogCatalog's Bloggers Against Abuse September 27th, 2007. The Outcome we are after is to be part of the largest group of bloggers to ever blog about an important cause, all on the same day.
My post today is about the abuse of children.
Abuse can take many forms emotional, physical, sexual - they are all totally evil and unacceptable. A child has no defense against abuse, no matter how old they are, they are children and as such should be nurtured and protected. There have been reports that some children make false claims of abuse, I can tell you from experience that the majority of child abuse cases are never reported because children are sworn to secrecy, ashamed, frightened of upsetting the family or so convinced that they will not be believed over an adult that they never tell! Those cases that do come to light are usually because a third party (a schoolteacher, a neighbour, a relative) has noticed something 'not quite right' and investigated the problem, not because the child has reported the abuse.
Abuse of children, particularly sexual abuse, has been happening probably since time immemorial but that doesn't make it right. It is only now that it is reported in the media that people have become aware of just how widespread the problem is. Paedophiles who commit sexual crimes against children excuse themselves by saying the children like it. Children are compliant beings who mostly do as adults tell them, just because they don't complain doesn't mean they like what his happening.
What is worrying is that when Paedophiles are charged with sexually abusing children and brought to trial the sentences do not reflect the crime. I have often thought that some judges who mete out light sentences, or in one case told a paedophile to buy the child a bike, must be paedophiles themselves to not understand the seriousness of what the child has endured! There can be no excuse for hurting and using a child for sexual gratification, and in my opinion there is only one sentence for convicted paedophiles - death, but as this is not an option in England then castration and life imprisonment should be fate of them all!
I would urge anyone who has doubts, information, suspicions about a child being abused, in whatever form, to contact the authorities. OK you may be mistaken but take that chance, far better to be wrong than to do nothing - it could mean a child's life.
34 comments:
child abuse is definitely unacceptable. nevertheless the cases of child abuse is always on a rise. see, i have read in a orphanage, the 6 poor children had to squeeze into a bed, lying naked and they are all deprived from nutrition. how sad isn't it.
I agree with you Akela.
Having our own kids, sometimes it's just too painful to read about these abuses. I used to have nightmares when I have read about stories of child abuse and how much and how long the kids have suffered.
And how helpless it makes me feel.
You could well be right about some of the judges. Anyone who abuses a child should be pursued to the fullest extent of the law, imprisoned and put in 'general population' rather than protected in solitary and in the case of paedophiles in particular, if released have their whereabouts made public so their prospective neighbours would know to protect their kids.
it's amazing how much they get away with...even if they do go to prison. i'm glad i stopped by so that i was reminded of the Stop The Abuse day.(funny how i just did a post of not remembering something else) i'll be posting mine a bit later.
I agree that the charges rarely reflect the crime, especially when you consider that an abuser is usually back on the streets in just a few short years, yet the abused have to live with their pain and memories for the rest of their lives.
It's heartbreaking.
Very powerful post...
Nicely written. People who work around or with children would see the signs more than me.
Elween that report of the children in the orphanage is just too sad. :(
Yes Bella child abuse becomes a nightmare when you have children of your own - it's intolerable.
You are so right Pauline. There are people here fighting for 'Sarah's Law' which is based on 'Megan's Law' in America, where the public have the right to know if there are paedophiles living in the area.
They do seem to 'get away with it' Ciara but then the law is an ass!
It is heartbreaking Miss U but the Government doesn't seem to listen, but then a lot of the people in power are corrupt anyway!
Thank you CG
Yes possibly Buffalodickdy but we all need to be on the look out and be aware that it can and does happen in our own neighbourhood.
You are first person I've found (besides myself) who has remembered to do this.
You know how I feel about the subject..
My post is up.
Bravo, akela. Absolutely wonderful.
Hi P,
That was a great post, especially since all the children in my family, boys and girls were abused in one way or another by our father. Think that is the reason my son is so very very prcious to me. keep up the good work, it is a really great blog that you have. F.
I am surprised that not many people have taken the opportunity to post about this subject Skittles and I feel exactly the same way as you honey!
Thanks Correspondent.
I had no idea F and I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you all. It's a subject that isn't talked about enough unfortunately, because it leaves people feeling ashamed through no fault of their own. xx
I didn't know about this blog event. But I'm glad I bumped into your post. Having worked with young children, I'm very protective of them. I remember once, when I was a nanny, I was trying to get a splinter out of my little charge's foot. At one point she shoved at me with all of her little might. I remember recognizing at that moment how little power a child has against an attacker. I stopped trying to get the splinter out, quite shaken inside knowing thousands of other little kids who shoved with all their might did not find relief from their pain. It was a moment I can recall exactly.
A very powerful and well written post Akelamalu..I hadnt heard about this day but a day late intend to post something...Child abuse should never be tolerated in any way shape or form and your right it isnt spoken about nearly enough
Love and light to you x Auds
Thank you for posting that!
This needs to be addressed. I had a family member die from child abuse. It's horrible for all involved.
Thank you for your insight Julia. x
Thank you Audrey for not only stopping by and taking the time to comment but for posting about the subject yourself. x
That is so awful crazy working mom, I cannot imagine how your family coped. x
It breaks my heart when I hear of any children going hungry or neglected, not to mention parents who actually mistreat their children ON PURPOSE. I always wonder, why in the world did they have children if they don't love them and take care of them. If a child can't trust his parents to do right by them, who can they trust? No wonder they are fearful to tell strangers. Here in the south child abuse is alive and well. And many call it "parenting", it makes me sick.
It breaks my heart too Nea. It never ceases to amaze me that some people think it's normal!
i've only relatively recently found about about the way someone very close to me was abused by his father - not sexually but emotionally and physically.
And though I know its more than likely that this father was himself abused or deprived in some way, i find it so hard to spare him any kind of sympathy or understanding.
So many people just don't seem to be able or willing to see how much children are shaped and affected by the people around them.
great post, Ak - well done.
LettuceI can understand why you can spare no sympathy for this man. Being abused does not entitle one to abuse others, it is a poor excuse. Abusing children is a choice people make, because they cannot fight back.
Thanks Flowerpot x
My son-in-law has another year to serve on his sentence for what he did to another one of our daughters. She has the rest of her life to serve with what he did to her.
Hey I thought I had commented here already... NOT as it turns out... abuse is disgusting and people who do it to kids should be put down I mean it. Not with painful lethal injections I can do a painless one! Or firing squad. Whatever. Such people should not live to abuse another day. Nor to pass their disgusting ideas on to others who WILL get out of prison. I saw some gross pictures on someone's blog of burned women from domestic violence. They made me ask myself: What kind of a world IS this?
you have an award at my place...
Great post! It is so important for children to have advocates who can stick up for them and protect them if there is suspected abuse of any kind. I have spent many nights crying because I know too many stories about the children I have grown to love in my school who have suffered in the past. And through it all part of me finds it hard to believe that anyone can abuse the trust of a child. So, thanks for posting this. We all need to protect 'our' children.
I wanted to add a personal note about child abuse, and people misunderstanding that if you are abused it will make you an abuser. My Grandfather's parent died when he was two, he was "adopted" by a man who got a big kick out of beating him. My Grandfather told me that he ran away three times, but was always brought back, and he was beaten everyday just for the old mans pleasure. These beatings were not just a swat on the behind either. And My Grandfather turned out to be the kindest most gentle man I ever knew, and he would never have raised a hand to any of his children, and he had 11, mostly because he remembered how terrible it was to have been hit as a child for no reason.
I know another man, Junior, whose father was also very abusive when Junior was growing up. And I know for a fact that if he ever heard anyone even mention they were going to "tan someone's hide", he got very upset....he would say, "there will be no hitting in my house."
So I truthfully do not believe it is so much the way you are reared as it is a heredity issue. Some people just inherit that mean gene....
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter Cindy. Your SIL should be serving a life sentence the same as your daughter!
I so agree with you Gleds - firing squad sounds like a solution!
Oooh thank you correspondent. x
You are so right Nea, abusers make the choice - they do it because they want to not because they have been abused. Thanks for your insight and the examples you have quoted. x
Makes me shudder just thinking about it.
Didn't know this day was on - but it's definitely worth raising as an issue.
Me too Topchamp
Great post and something close to my heart. Sadly in days gone by child abuse was swept under the carpet and children who did speak out were not believed especially if a member of the family was concerned. Thank goodness the plight of so many children is now listened to.
Rx
And mine too Ruth, and you are so right in what you say.
Great post Akela.
I'm gutted I missed this but so glad you didn't.
Akela,
I was amazed that you wrote this after your best friend. I was going to post on the best friend then decided it was a better comment here. My best friend was a year older than me and we were together every day at her house or mine, usually mine because after her mother passed away I didn't like to go to her house because of her father. As I look at her relationship with her father, I believe now that she was sexually abused as she reached puberty. she and her sister finally left to go live with their grandmother when we were about 14 and the few times I saw her after that she became withdrawn and didn't talk much. I always wondered what happened to her and what she might have gone thru in that household. No one talked about such things in the 50's
Thanks Jo x
Oh your poor friend bankerchick. You are right it wasn't a topic of conversation in the 50's - it was all brushed under the carpet.
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