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Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Ponderisms.....

These, received in an email, made me ponder.....

    I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die from natural causes.

    There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
     
    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
     
    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
     
    Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
     
    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
     
    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
     
    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
     
    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
     
    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
     
    Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
     
    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

     
    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
     
    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

15 comments:

Cloudia said...

Lol!


Aloha

MorningAJ said...

Some of those are quite profound!

Melanie said...

I feel like a much deeper person for reading this!

Anupama K. Mazumder said...

What interesting observations!

www.anucreations.blogspot.in

mrsnesbitt said...

Great start to the day Pearl! lol!

Valerie said...

'Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?'

I often wondered :o)

These are great, Pearl,

Banker Chick said...

You have given me something to think about today.

Ron said...

*clapping*

These. are. faaaaabulous.!!!!!!

Loved them all, but this one especially....

"Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

Flawless!!!!!

Thanks for sharing, m'dear! Enjoyed!

X

Daryl said...

all good questions ...

Gledwood said...

Life is sexually transmitted..?...
Do you think that's why it comes with WARTS..!

snowelf said...

Okay, I have heard a lot of these, but the one about feeling blue made my laugh out loud. I was not expecting that!

Hope all is well in your world! :) We are getting the same kind of weather you are...rain rain rain.

--snow

Beach Bum said...

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

LOL!!! Bigfoot seems to have taken a hit as well.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Yeah, but health nuts will die after much longer lives, in general. I hope that's true for me and I KNOW if it is I won't feel stupid!

Lorraine said...

Love these. Made me smile x

Charlie Hewston said...

Good post. I like it. It was interesting to read it. Great thank's author for sharing…

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