I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I learned that most people die from natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?