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Friday, 14 August 2009

Friday 55 Flash Fiction # 85 Trapped.....



Jack fidgeted, wiping the sweat from his brow.


How long would he be incarcerated?



It was stifling.

He couldn't escape, although the windows were open


there was nowhere to escape to.

He'd have to be patient, he'd just have to sit it out.

Surrounded on all sides

by vehicles stuck in the same traffic jam.




Friday 55 Flash Fiction is brought to you by G-man (Mr Knowitall). The idea is you write a story in exactly 55 words. If you want to take part pop over and let G-man know when you've posted your 55.

44 comments:

MomsJournal said...

uuuggg I'm so glad I don't have to do that daily grind. At one of the many jobs I had in the past a 30 minute commute would take two and a half hours on a Friday evening. Great 55 for stirring bad traffic memories. Now I need some chocolate. LOL ;-)

ciara said...

hubs used to have almost 2 hour commute to work and from work. he recently got moved to a closer store so instead of 4 hours of commute time, he just has two..but i can tell you, the section of freeway close to his job can suck some days. at least i don't (neither does stinky) have to drive a stick shift in traffic. that is the worse! great 55, ake.

you were my first stop after letting g know i've posted a 55. hope i can just keep up w commenting and blogging. slowly posting haha :)

Elaine said...

Thankfully, I don't drive!
Great 55, Ak. You are so good at these.

Flowerpot said...

He looks a bit like John Sargeant!!

Thom said...

That's how I feel everyday driving the bus LOL. Excellent my friend. You have such a way with these 55 I just love them :) Aloha

quilly said...

Oh! What a cruel sentence! Will poor Jack ever get time off for good behavior?

:) I never saw that twist coming!

Dulce Rosales said...

Whta a terible feeling... No way out. It reminds me of my panic attacks in the middle of a traffic jam..
Beautiful though, your 55

anthonynorth said...

I don't drive any more and am glad of it.
Nicely done.

Hootin' Anni said...

Been there, done that! A gazillion times....I so love retirement.

Poor Jack.

Mine once again is shared. You need,as always, to click on the link at top or scroll down my entire Friday blog.

Have a great weekend.

Eaton Bennett said...

Oh boy, how terrible if you can't choose the time of day to travel...as so many can't. :))

Sandi McBride said...

Oh I've been there! Clever boots you to come up with a short short about it, lol!
Sandi

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh i hate those traffic jams, but the writing is great!

smiles, bee
xoooxooxxxxoxoxox

buffalodick said...

You captured the spirit of being trapped by a traffic jam!

bindhiya said...

Dear Akelamalu,
Great 55 as always..
Traffic jam's are getting us to be patient :) once in a while

♥ & ((hugs))
bindi

Fandango said...

Glad to have you back doing 55s. We dragons think yours are the best. The very best.
Ours is posted
HERE.

Dianne said...

I thought it was going to be a stalled commuter train
but a traffic jam is just as delightful

great as always

Linda said...

There is nothing worse than being stuck in a backlog of traffic and crawling along at such a slow pace you could get out and walk faster! Add a hot day onto that and - ugh!!!

Excellently written as always!

Ron said...

PERFECTO!

And I know this feeling oh, so well when I use to own a car and drive on the major highways!#?*#!

I do not miss having a car!!!

Thanks for sharing another clever 55, m'dear!

I ALWAYS enjoy them!

Have a great weekend!
X

cheshire wife said...

This can't have happened recently. The weather here has been grey and miserable. As usual!

Mama Zen said...

What perfect misery!

Dr.John said...

It was from great 55s like this that I learned to do a 55. Glad to see you still have the touch.
This was even better for me today because earlier I was stuck in a hot car with five fighting grandchildren waiting for Betty and Pennie to come back.

secret agent woman said...

Makes me happy to live in a small town with a mile and a half commute!

G-Man said...

Ake, Ake, Ake....
My little Twisty Brit!!!
Loved your 55..
Thank You so much for the smile.
Have a Kick-Ass Week-End....G

Travis said...

Grrrrrrrr...traffic!

Susan at Stony River said...

What a good one! You had me wondering but the end is a great surprise. When I was young I dealt with rush hour traffic, but it's been years since I've seen it ... now I don't know how I put up with it.

Cloudia said...

A common experienced reimagined in your unique fashion!
Aloha, Ake ;-)

Comfort Spiral

CJ said...

Great 55.

The trick to avoiding traffic jams is to live in the city but work in the suburbs. In 32 years of commuting, I was caught in 2 traffic jams, one because of an accident and one because of icy roads.

mrsnesbitt said...

I suffer from claustrophobia (sp ???) this worked!

Akelamalu said...

LOL enjoy the chocolate MomsJournal

MWM used to hate the daily commute to work though it was only an hour there and an hour back Ciara.

There's a lot to be said for not being able to drive Laney!

He does a bit,now you mention it Flowerpot :)

I can imagine it Thom :0

Glad you enjoyed the twist Quilly :)

Oh it must have been terrifying to have a panic attack in such a situation Dulce! :0

I still have to drive to work unfortunately Anthony but thankfull there are no traffic jams usually. :)

I'm looking forward to retirement Anni, then I won't have that drive to work anymore! :)

That's the problem isn't it Eaton, everyone has to trave at the same time. :(

The situation lent itself to a 55 Sandi LOL

Thanks Bee x

I tried Buff, glad you thought so. x

If one can be patient in a traffic jam it makes it a whole lot easier Bindi :)

Aw thanks Fandango, how sweet of you. x

Cheers Dianne, glad you enjoyed it. :)

I think the heat makes it worse Linda!

It's unfortunate that a car is necessary sometimes isn't it Ron? Glad you liked it. x

No, a while a go Cheshire Wife but remembered. ;(

Absolutely MamaZen

Oh you lived the 55 Dr. John! You're very kind in your comments m'dear, thankyou. x

I know what you mean SAW I too only have a short distance to drive to work. :)

I'm pleased you enjoyed the twist G-man x

Yep Trav - traffic Grrrrr!

It does seem easier to deal with when you're young doesn't it Susan?

Yep, I think we've all been there Cloudia :(

Well that's good advice CJ :)

Ooops sorry Mrs.N ;)

snowelf said...

My traffic jam days are over for now, but I did have to sit in an hour and a half of traffic every day when I lived in the city. I almost miss it as it gave me time to think and absorb music. However--now that my commute home is about 15 minutes, I definitely get to spend more time with the chilis and that's certainly more valuable in the long run.

Can you believe you've done 85 Flash fictions! :)

have a great weekend!!!

--snow

Gledwood said...

I can't drive either.

Everyone laughs at me at fairgrounds. Then finds out I'm far smoother at the dodgems than THEM!!

Gledwood said...

ps hedgehogs!!

tony said...

I Know That Feeling!Have A Fine Weekend!

Casdok said...

I had to give up my car because of an injury. But i can honestly say i dont miss it.

Maddy said...

Now that looks like a lot of fun, 55 words rather than 144 characters.
Cheers

Valerie said...

I didn't expect the twist at the end. Nicely done.
Thank goodness I'm away from traffic holdups now.

Mimi Lenox said...

I always wait with anticipation for that switcheroo ending you give. This one I definitely didn't see coming. You have wonderful language skills. Truly.

Akelamalu said...

My commute time is also only about 15 mins Snowelf - it's more than enough! LOL 85 Flash Fictions on and I'm still learning. :)

If you can drive a dodgem you'd do well on the roads these days Gleds! LOL

You too eh Tony?

I'm sorry to hear you had an injury Casdok but if you're happier without your car that's a bonus I suppose. :)

It is fun and challenging Maddy. Will you try it? :)

Thanks Valerie, I'll be glad when I don't have to commute too, even though it's only 15 mins. :)

Oh you're too kind Mimi m'dear, thankyou. xx

Spiky Zora Jones said...

AH...hahahaha. dang, it's true. I don't know how many times I've been in the Los Angeles traffic on the interstate-5 freeway and felt the same way...

sometimes I want to get out and walk away...SCREAM...keep the car, but No...sense tells me to stay put and suffer like everyone else. hehehehe.

I didn't say it was good sense. hehehe.

sweetie...i want to crawl into your head one day when you are writing...you always seem to have a surprise at the end. That's why I love your 55 flash fiction stories.

later sweetie. xx

Lulda Casadaga said...

This brought back many stressful memories...thanks a lot! :D

p.s.My husband uses towel on his bald head in times of sweaty situations! Have a cool week...;)

Akelamalu said...

Gosh I don't think, nay I know I would be able to drive on your freeways Spiky - I don't do motorways over here! Glad you liked it hon. x

Sorry it brought back memories for you Lulda but hopefully you don't have to do that anymore. :)

Lulda Casadaga said...

I now work locally and I have to laugh when I get upset at traffic jams when I'm only 10mins away from home! :) Oh by the way, I drove on some of your roads and roundabouts...interesting! I did good on your M5's but not so good in town. IN fact on a road up in Northern England I almost hit a cow!! :D

Akelamalu said...

LOL you almost hit a cow Lulda???? I don't mind driving round town but there's no way I would drive on the M5 - you're very brave! When were you in the North of England - you may have passed right by where I live!

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