Monday, 21 January 2013

A letter home.......

Dear Mum,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.
Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
loving son


Valerie said...

OMG Pearl, that's a killer! I was laughing by the half way mark but it got worse by the end.... what a hoot! I just have to pass this on. Thanks for giving me the giggles on this snowy day.

Ron said...

" By the way, what is a pedal-file?"


OMG...this post was HILARIOUS!!!

Great one, m'dear! Thanks so much for the awesome morning laughs!


Akelamalu said...

It made me laugh too Valerie but I wouldn't want to get a letter like that. :0

Glad you enjoyed it Ron xx

mrsnesbitt said...

Pearl this is hilarious! I have just read it to Jon we were howling!

A Lady's Life said...


Wow Now thats a keeper to show a son when he grows up.
A parents nightmare. But you know, when we were growing up people who took us camping had old trucks and no insurance and food was an issue because no one told us we had to bring our own or maybe a turkey or something to cook for the gang of kids. And we did learn from someone getting cuts and bruises.
On survival camps we had to get along with a lot less and fight to survive like hunt for food. And some people were from prisons ex killers and rapists. But they all behaved. So I guess sometimes we have to give people a chance to do the right things.

tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tony said...

Parents! They Worry When you don't contact them and they worry when you do!

Secret Agent Woman said...

There probably are lots of times when it's best if the parent just doesn't know all the details!

Jeff B said...

That's wickedly hilarious!!!

Cloudia said...

Hello Muddah - Hello Faddah

Alan Sherman

Happy Aloha to YOU
from Honolulu,
Comfort Spiral
~ > < } } ( ° >
> < } } ( ° >

Cloudia said...

Beach Bum said...

Best laugh I had all day.

Akelamalu said...

Glad you enjoyed it Denise :)

When we were young there were no Health and Safety police Lady's Life we just got on with life! LOL

Exactly Tony LOL

Oh yes, you're right there SAW ;)

Isn't it just Jeff? LOL

That's exactly what came to my mind when I read it Cloudia ;)

Happy to make you smile Beach :)

MorningAJ said...

I'm with Cloudia on this one.... I can't get that song out of my mind now. :)

Very funny.

Flowerpot said...

Loved it!

Md Rajon said...


Daryl said...

while not new, this one which has been making the rounds for years, its still a good laugh

Dianne said...

this is hilarious!!

Banker Chick said...

Reminds me of Allen Sherman's ditty.

Maggie May said...

Just the kind of letter that a mum doesn't want to receive! Good laugh.
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Crystal Jigsaw said...

That is just so funny. I'm in tears here laughing out loud!!!

Got to promote this one!
CJ x

G-Man said...

You could have cropped this down to 55 Words Ake!!!
Tsk Tsk Tsk...