Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
BRITISH POLICE OFFICER
Answer: (Immediate thought processes)
Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?
Does he prefer to communicate in English or Bengali?
Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?
Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?
Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?
Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog?
Is the alleged "client" a member of an Environmental Group?
Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?
Is he a member of a gang that is just "misunderstood" by society?
Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how to approach the police?
Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community?
Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and just doesn't understand what he is doing?
Is he a member of a visible minority group?
Warn and Charter him as he approaches.
AUSTRALIAN OFFICER
Answer: BANG!
AMERICAN OFFICER
Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
*************************************
Linda (Are We There Yet?) tagged me for a little linky love. A little love is always welcome and you get to find some great new blogs.
Start copying here
This link loving in 2008 came from Simone's Butterfly:
I have randomly selected 5 of you below to be tagged and I hope that you will similarly publish this post in your blog. You will have to tag 5 other bloggers and just keep adding on to the list. (Do not replace, just keep on adding! Yes we hope it will be a long list!)It’s real easy! Tag others and see your Technorati Authority increase exponentially!The benefits of Viral Linking: - One of the fastest ways to see your technorati authority explode! - Increase your Google PageRank fast - Attract large volume of new traffic to your site - Build your community - Make new friends!
Add your blog url here...The Strategist Notebook /Link Addiction/ Ardour of the Heart /When Life Becomes a Book /The Malaysian Life/ Yogatta.com/ What goes under the sun /Roshidan’s Cyber Station /Sasha says /Arts of Physics/ And the legend lives/ My View, My Life /A Simple Life /What Women REALLY Think /Not Much More Than This /Jayedee /Jenn /Beth/ Christie/ Marla /Cailin /Simone /FlipFlopMom Katrina /Gill's Jottings /Work of the Poet/ Wakela/Modern Day Goddess/Livin With MeAre /We There Yet?? /Everything And Nothing/You are next...
I love all of your so rather than choose I will just tag the first five people who commented on my last post, so here they are:
"Hello, hello, hello! I hope you've got a licence for that gun...."
ReplyDeleteI've seen that particular joke in the US, split up between different regional groups. It's often the difference between liberal and conservative, or northerner and southerner, or city folk and country folk, etc.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm never sure on what's PC and what isn't these days. I think it's possible to see the humor in everything and to this day I remember a joke that Robin Williams once told about British Bobbies and their take on stopping perpetrators as they carry no guns. He said that "they holler "stop!" or "I'll holler stop again!" It's always stuck with me because I thought it was funny but whether it's PC or not - ah, who knows??
ReplyDeleteThanks for passing on the Linky Love!
LOL, that joke is such an interesting observation on Britain today!
ReplyDelete:) ok thats well funny lol and sad to say SO TRUE.....
ReplyDeletex
Sigh.
ReplyDeleteSo true.
So true.
So sad.
LOL! I loved this thought in particular:
ReplyDelete'Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?'
It's very funny, especially the Australian and American reactions. Although, having just had my beloved Mounties here in Canada Taser an unarmed man to death for 'noncompliance', the second or two to think before shooting might be wiser.
True enough for the American cop, but I have no idea about the rest.
ReplyDeleteThe American Officer's reaction seems straight out of the movies. Is that what they really do in real life?!
ReplyDeleteThat is so true, here in America!
ReplyDeleteI did the love link!
Yep that's probably true in the US, but only because they want to make sure they don't just maim him so he can't sue later. :P
ReplyDeleteOk...I hate to do this to you...but I have yet ANOTHER award that you can place on your mantle.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have this one yet.
Tee-hee!
When you have minute...stop on by to pick it up.
SURPRISE!!!
LOL! The politically correct British. I actually, they sound so much like the Singaporeans - ask all the questions first before taking actions, or maybe it's because we were under the British Colony before and that's the legacy they left us ;-)
ReplyDeleteyes madam! i am very honored to be tagged by you! :)
ReplyDeletethanks Ak - I am also honoured! Will tryand get techno hat on and do something about it this week!
ReplyDeleteNow THAT's a pretty funny joke ... especially the part about the British police officer. Thanks. I also made a copy for future reference. :-)
ReplyDeleteThat just about sums up the way our police have to work Dumdad!
ReplyDeleteOr in the UK's case our politically correct government Travis!
It's true Linda and it's politically nonsense. :#
Isn't it just cg!
Yep true and getting worse Marmie :(
It is true and it is sad, all aspects of it Mimi
Caution is always a good thing Julia, but our bobbies have their own handcuffs on! :(
I'm not sure about the Australian but certain British policemen are having to work like this cs.
According to CS and Little Wing, yes Tot's mom!
Thanks for doing the Linky Love Little Wing x
LOL that sounds about right Sugarplum07 and thanks for stopping by. :)
Ron please don't apologise you know how much I love awards!! :) xxxx
You may be right there Bella!
Oh that's good Elween x
Thanks Flowerpot x
Glad you enjoyed it Dave :)
Too true for America LOL
ReplyDeleteSounds like an ``alarm Glock'' to me!!
ReplyDeleteThat seems to be the concensus of opinion Misty.
ReplyDeleteHe he, trust you David!
Well, I know it sounds silly, but I kinda like that the joke has the british at least thinking about their actions before carrying them out... Even it poor pc plod gets slaughtered in the meantime... shame the government doesn't take such care :-S
ReplyDeleteHi Akelmalu... a flying 'not here really' visit to say hello, how are you. I haven't time to catch up on all the millions of posts I've missed, so I'll just hope nothing bads been happening.
Congrats on the weight loss already!
XX
Not bad- Reminds me "Never bring a knife to a gun fight"!
ReplyDeleteSome jokes are best unsaid.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back Annelisa I've missed you! Nothing bad happened thank goodness. Hope you're well?
ReplyDeleteYes the Government have a lost to answer for and whilst I agree asking questions first is better than shooting first I do think it's just gone too far.
Quite Buffalo!
Sorry if your were offended Dave but unfortunately that's just the way things are. x
O dear re the police officers that is too true!
ReplyDeleteHow odd that in this country the police seem to have stepped down and crawled down beneath the level of the "common" criminal herd...
in America a far more "zero-tolerance" way of doing thing rules...
here I noticed (watch any cops and robbers show...) how those stopped and apprehended have so VERY LITTLE respect for police even (or especially) when they're being filmed...
o whatever!
the entire world is going to the dogs and may the dogs bay!!
You are so right Gleds!
ReplyDeleteThe british bobby gets the last laugh though. He is much less likely to die in the line of duty and if he does it won't be "par for the course"it will be an outrage.
ReplyDeleteI only wish that were still true Cathy there are too many of our policemen/women being shot, but I don't want them to be armed because that really would encourage all criminals to carry guns. :(
ReplyDeleteHello akelamalu and thank you for visiting me and leaving such a kind comment.
ReplyDeleteI can't comment on the UK or Australia but I know the NE of the USA very well, especially NY/NJ and the police shoot - empty their guns really - at the drop of a hat. I certainly don't minimize the dangers they face but too many unarmed or totally innocent people have been hurt by "cowboy cops" - I think a lot of the blame is in lack of good training and in pressures from above to keep neighborhoods quiet.
BTW - the photos of your grandparents are breathtaking - I will be back to read some of the older stuff.
i've read some bad stories lately - police standing by while civilians save people from drowning etc.
ReplyDeleteIn Los Angeles, they shoot the perp and then the perp sues. It is a crazy world for sure.
ReplyDeleteHi Dianne welcome to my home from home. 'Cowboy Cops' are frightening, makes me glad our police aren't armed. Glad you like the photos, call back anytime. :)
ReplyDeleteI read that too Topchamp, weren't they community policemen/women who wouldn't save a drowning boy because of health and safety rules? RIDICULOUS!!!
Ah yes, the 'let's make a claim' syndrome Bankerchick!
Hmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteYes and no. I think British Police with guns are a little scary, but if it was to protect my family I would shoot I think.
NB. Must not become a police person.